Never ever. Ever!!!

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Never ever. Ever!!!

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Never ever. Ever!!!

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Never ever. Ever!!! - 6/14/2010 6:29:49 AM

SocratesNot

Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
Status: offline

There are some things that (in my opinion) are not a big deal at all, but some people claim that they will never ever do them.
Never ever. Under no circumstances whatsoever.

As an example I will mention some common claims of some people:

1. I am just a Dom(me) I will NEVER switch.
2. I'm a switch but I will NEVER switch with same person. If I am submissive to him/her, I will always be submissive to him/her. If I am dominating him/her, I will always dominate him/her. But I will NEVER change my role with a single person.
3. I will NEVER top men.
4. My subs will NEVER have sex with me / My subs will NEVER penetrate me. (Yes some lifestyle dommes say this in their profiles, too, not just pro's)

There are more examples, but I can't recall all of them now.

I want to ask, why are these things such a tremendously big deal?

If you are a Dom(me) why you think it is so fucking extremely hard or impossible for you to even try switching or submitting even for just a short time?

If you are a switch in a good D/s relationship with one person, why you think that the harmony of the relationship will be destroyed forever if you try switching with him/her, even just for a very little time? Yes you switch, but you are always in the same role with the same person. Why is it so unimaginable to try switching with the same man or woman?

You are a switch and a bisexual woman, but you claim you will NEVER top men, no matter what. Why is that so? You can submit to men, submit to women, top women, but you think it's absolutely impossible for you to top men. Why is that so?

If you are a domme and you say that you'll NEVER have sex with your subs or let them penetrate you, why is that so?

I find this topic very interesting and I am looking forward to interesting answers.

_____________________________

Amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas. - Aristotle
Plato is my friend, but truth is a better friend. - Aristotle

Post #: 1

RE: Never ever. Ever!!! - 6/14/2010 6:34:53 AM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

I don't switch because it isn't in me.

I didn't choose this whole thang. I discovered what I am.

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to SocratesNot)

Post #: 2

RE: Never ever. Ever!!! - 6/14/2010 6:40:56 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

T answer you question SNot, you need to live with and among people and really try to understand them for there is no one answer to your questions, there are as many answer as there are people. Honestly old chap, you urgently need to shut down your computer for a year and a day and go get field experience from real live flesh and blood human beings.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 3

RE: Never ever. Ever!!! - 6/14/2010 6:42:28 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

SN, why do you think Dom/mes have some obligation to switch? I once tried being a spankee and it just felt wrong.

Note that your concept of switching is to submit to the same one that I Dominate. That would mess up the relationship dynamics no end. Note that switches' profiles typically state that they will submit to one person, and Dominate another - doing both with the same partner makes for a confused headspace.

< Message edited by DarkSteven -- 6/14/2010 6:51:19 AM >

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 4

RE: Never ever. Ever!!! - 6/14/2010 6:49:57 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Guys quit calling him snot. The ones who have been doing so are better than that.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 5

RE: Never ever. Ever!!! - 6/14/2010 6:53:51 AM

ourmsbetty

Posts: 266
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I don't switch because it isn't in me.

I didn't choose this whole thang. I discovered what I am.

I'm quoting the anteater... Do I need shots? This is exactly it

SN, some nevers change. For a long time while I was married I did not sleep with play partners because well I was married and I only slept with my husband but he was vanilla and I still wanted to play. That can be one reason. Some Dommes have others.

Some nevers do not change. Both sides of the kneel to not necessarily appeal to everyone. Just like not everyone likes the same music or the same foods, just like some people's sexuality is wired one way or another, some of us are wired Dominant or submissive. Switching just doesn't work for us. It is not who we are. We are who we naturally are and we do not apologize for it.

Some Dommes get very huffy about it because there is a certain subset of men who think they are Dominant who try to insist a Domme is really submissive or will at least be submissive for them. They don't come along very often but over a lifetime you come across enough of them for it to be a bit of an irritant.

Mind you not all male Dominants have that attitude. It's only a few bad apples who do, but like men who send is pics of their intimate anatomy, men who think we don't ever want love or sex, and the other million misconceptions out there, it only takes that few to make an over all bad enough impression that it becomes a big deal.

Does any of this make sense? I haven't had my coffee yet...

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 6

RE: Never ever. Ever!!! - 6/14/2010 6:55:49 AM

SocratesNot

Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
Status: offline

quote:

SNot, why do you think Dom/mes have some obligation to switch?

No I absolutely don't think so. I'm just asking why they find it impossible to do, without implying that they have any sort of obligation.

quote:

Note that switches' profiles typically state that they will submit to one person, and Dominate another - doing both with the same partner makes for a confused headspace.

I am wondering if this is really about confused headspace or it is maybe about striving to protect existing hierarchy / pecking order at all costs?
Or maybe they are too proud to even consider submitting to the one who is their sub. Or in case of subs, they think that they would lose all respect for the Master if he even considers submitting to them.
Is this actually a system based on honor/respect/hierarchy - so if you do anything that could undermine this honor system / hierarchy - you will either lose all respect for your partner or he / she will lose all respect for you.

If this is really so, I have absolutely no fucking idea why?????????
Why would you lose respect for your Master if he submitted even just for a short time? Is submission a thing that one should be ashamed of? Is it the thing that automatically causes the loss of reputation and respect of other people? If so why?
I don't think it is that way. Quite contrary. I would respect Master who has the balls to submit for a while even more than one who always says - never ever.
I would think the first to be stronger and more brave than the second. But that's just me. I am eager to see other opinions.

< Message edited by SocratesNot -- 6/14/2010 7:01:59 AM >

_____________________________

Amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas. - Aristotle
Plato is my friend, but truth is a better friend. - Aristotle

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 7

RE: Never ever. Ever!!! - 6/14/2010 7:01:33 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

In My way of thinking, I try not to say never. All things are possible. Highly, very highly improbable, but not completely impossible.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 8

RE: Never ever. Ever!!! - 6/14/2010 7:04:35 AM

peppermint

Posts: 5170
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

Without knowing a person's background and motives I would never say that their hard limits are no big deal. I had a friend with kissing as one of her hard limits. Kissing is no big deal to some. With her it was a major thing because of how she looked at kissing. She broke up with a Dom, who like you, would consider it no big deal when he tied her up and kissed her. Guess it was a bigger deal that he could imagine, just as you are lacking that imagination to understand another's motives.

(in reply to SocratesNot)

Post #: 9

RE: Never ever. Ever!!! - 6/14/2010 7:07:40 AM

SocratesNot

Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
Status: offline

OK peppermint, my hard limit are strawberries - I am allergic to them. I understand that there are some unusual hard limits.
I'm asking about some things that are objectively not a very big deal, yet quite a lot of people say they would never do them.
Why ? - I don't know!!! That's why I started the thread !

_____________________________

Amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas. - Aristotle
Plato is my friend, but truth is a better friend. - Aristotle

(in reply to peppermint)

Post #: 10

RE: Never ever. Ever!!! - 6/14/2010 7:07:40 AM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

In My way of thinking, I try not to say never. All things are possible. Highly, very highly improbable, but not completely impossible.

Come to Chicago...............

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 11

RE: Never ever. Ever!!! - 6/14/2010 7:19:44 AM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

quote:

SNot, why do you think Dom/mes have some obligation to switch?

No I absolutely don't think so. I'm just asking why they find it impossible to do, without implying that they have any sort of obligation.

As usual, you get things all muddled up. Refusing to do something is not the same as finding it impossible. I will never use a kitchen knife to brutally butcher my next door neighbour. That is not the same as finding it impossible to use a kitchen knife to brutally butcher my next door neighbour.

People say they will never switch/bottom/whatever because they know themselves-they know it will not work for them. That doesn't make them incapable of it, it makes them unwilling.

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.

(in reply to SocratesNot)

Post #: 12

RE: Never ever. Ever!!! - 6/14/2010 7:24:34 AM

SocratesNot

Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
Status: offline

quote:

As usual, you get things all muddled up. Refusing to do something is not the same as finding it impossible. I will never use a kitchen knife to brutally butcher my next door neighbour. That is not the same as finding it impossible to use a kitchen knife to brutally butcher my next door neighbour.

People say they will never switch/bottom/whatever because they know themselves-they know it will not work for them. That doesn't make them incapable of it, it makes them unwilling.

VC, don't take this terminology too literally. I meant the same thing as you - they are simply unwilling to do these things. Everything that is physically possible - is possible.
I used the term "impossible" just for an emphasis.

_____________________________

Amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas. - Aristotle
Plato is my friend, but truth is a better friend. - Aristotle

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

Post #: 13

RE: Never ever. Ever!!! - 6/14/2010 7:26:48 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

In My way of thinking, I try not to say never. All things are possible. Highly, very highly improbable, but not completely impossible.

Come to Chicago...............

Say that on your knees and I might think about it.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 14

RE: Never ever. Ever!!! - 6/14/2010 7:32:56 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

There are some things that (in my opinion) are not a big deal at all...

one of the beautiful and interesting things about human beings is they aren't identical. even twins have different tastes, aspirations, interests, personalities, likes and dislikes.

quote:

...I want to ask, why are these things such a tremendously big deal?...

for some folks, submitting is repulsive, stress~filled, unfulfilling, terrifying...a really big emotional & psychological turn-off. same with dominating~some folks are just as repulsed, stressed, unfulfilled, terrified and turned off by it.

quote:

...I would respect Master who has the balls to submit for a while even more than one who always says - never ever.
I would think the first to be stronger and more brave than the second. But that's just me...

this slave doesn't see how a Master submitting or a slave dominating makes them stronger or more courageous than the those who don't. no better or worse than those who don't, merely different. perhaps they have learned through experience what works best for them and confidently represent it with the "Never!" statement?

(in reply to SocratesNot)

Post #: 15

RE: Never ever. Ever!!! - 6/14/2010 7:40:44 AM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

SN, oddly enough, I don't give a shit what you would or would not respect.

See how this works?

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to SocratesNot)

Post #: 16

RE: Never ever. Ever!!! - 6/14/2010 7:46:44 AM

SocratesNot

Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
Status: offline

quote:

SN, oddly enough, I don't give a shit what you would or would not respect.

See how this works?

LadyPact asked you something!

_____________________________

Amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas. - Aristotle
Plato is my friend, but truth is a better friend. - Aristotle

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 17

RE: Never ever. Ever!!! - 6/14/2010 8:03:30 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

snot, what is the weather like in Bosnia today?

I have never been but I have heard that it is a beautiful country once you look past all of the genocide.

Are there any girls in Bosnia?

You need to get you a whole pile of laid.

_____________________________

(in reply to SocratesNot)

Post #: 18

RE: Never ever. Ever!!! - 6/14/2010 8:24:56 AM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

OK peppermint, my hard limit are strawberries - I am allergic to them. I understand that there are some unusual hard limits.
I'm asking about some things that are objectively not a very big deal, yet quite a lot of people say they would never do them.
Why ? - I don't know!!! That's why I started the thread !

Okay, so based on the number of threads you have started, the amount of controvery you have enjoyed stirring up so much, and how dead the horse is that you keep beating, why is THIS stuff so important to you, even though it's been accepted and practiced happily by most of the people who frequent this forum?

Let it go already. Read and learn and accept that everyone has their likes and dislikes, and stop yammering.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to SocratesNot)

Post #: 19

RE: Never ever. Ever!!! - 6/14/2010 8:33:58 AM

SocratesNot

Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
Status: offline

quote:

snot, what is the weather like in Bosnia today?

Too hot. 88°F or 32°C. Here is a picture taken few minutes ago from my building:

quote:

Are there any girls in Bosnia?

Yeah, there are many, many, many good and gorgeous girls.

quote:

You need to get you a whole pile of laid.

Yes, it's true! But it's easier said than done, unfortunately, and I am not very skilled and confident around girls.
In other words, my seducing abilities usually suck.

Attachment (1)

_____________________________

Amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas. - Aristotle
Plato is my friend, but truth is a better friend. - Aristotle

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Never ever. Ever!!!

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.188