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What are the steps your Dom/me has done to you? - 6/14/2010 9:59:02 AM   
MastJason


Posts: 1
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline 		I'm sure this topic has come up a few times before, but I'm curious.

What steps has your dom(me) done to you to help you stretch your limits?  besides the expected obedience to serve them, I'm curious what they've done to slowly (or not?) move things further?  experiences you've had you can share?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: What are the steps your Dom/me has done to you? - 6/14/2010 10:03:14 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		He stops when he hits a wall and gives me time to think about it and doesn't try it again for several months. He doesn't put pressure on me which would make it worse. Eventually we either figure out what the problem is or decide it's not going to ever work. There's no reason to obsess when there are dozens of other things we've still never done.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to MastJason)
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RE: What are the steps your Dom/me has done to you? - 6/14/2010 10:56:51 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		For Carol and I, we don't think of limits in terms of actions, kinky or otherwise. It's already a given that she will do what I tell her to do. If suddenly got interested in sadism, then I'd hit her when and how I saw fit. For us, the whole game has shifted to internal issues. So while it's absolutely a given that she'd let me cane her if I wanted to, the real question is would she become a masochist if I wanted her to.... or poly.... or <fill in the blank>.

What that means is that there are no specific "steps" that I could enumerate. It's been a long and delicate dance that has not stopped. We progress down a path of her becoming ever more malleable to me... sometimes it's in fits & starts. Sometimes it's one step forward, two back. Always, it's been "together".

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to MastJason)
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RE: What are the steps your Dom/me has done to you? - 6/14/2010 11:18:42 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MastJason

I'm sure this topic has come up a few times before, but I'm curious.

What steps has your dom(me) done to you to help you stretch your limits?  besides the expected obedience to serve them, I'm curious what they've done to slowly (or not?) move things further?  experiences you've had you can share?



this slave didn't come into the relationship she enjoys with Master with a list of limits, nor has she limited Him for the 7+ years we have been M/s...or the almost 4 we have been married.
HE calls the shots...for Him, it is all about what is best for us...and this slave trusts Him completely.

(in reply to MastJason)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: What are the steps your Dom/me has done to you? - 6/14/2010 11:26:03 AM   
yellowroses


Posts: 167
Joined: 6/12/2009
Status: offline 		There are so many things that I could say about him and all that he has done to nurture my submission. I will write about the most powerful one. He just tells me to do something. The other night I came to bed wearing pajamas. This is not normal but I was not feeling that wonderful because of girly issues. He was aware of what time of the month it was and softly but firmly said that I was overdressed. I in turn said..."I know". He simply responded..."take off your top". Almost hypnotically I did. He had is way with me and we went to sleep. It is just the way he says things that still, after 9 years, bring me to my knees. If I know he wants something done, I will do it. He has never once raised his voice to me or been angry at me. Those are the steps that he has taken with me to make me the loving submissive that I am to him.

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RE: What are the steps your Dom/me has done to you? - 6/14/2010 2:26:15 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		Given a good enough reason and a slave will do surprising things.



_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

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RE: What are the steps your Dom/me has done to you? - 6/14/2010 3:53:49 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		He keeps beating until HE thinks I've had enough, not when I think I've had enough.


(in reply to osf)
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RE: What are the steps your Dom/me has done to you? - 6/14/2010 7:22:13 PM   
smilezz


Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline 		He pushes on through the "HARD" things ......... it's my job to deal with it, then find acceptance.

-smilezz-

_____________________________

=It's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of Glitter & I have been shinin' ever since=

�*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,-:* �

(in reply to MastJason)
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RE: What are the steps your Dom/me has done to you? - 6/14/2010 9:00:55 PM   
FetishRose


Posts: 212
Joined: 8/7/2008
Status: offline 		For us, he keeps pushing against whatever it is that makes me uncomfortable, from anal sex, to breath play.  He keeps at it, until I become comfortable with that step, and then he pushes to the next level.  Eventually, I come to enjoy and welcome whatever activity I didn't think I could do before.

_____________________________

Rose-y Pose-y, Puddin' Pie. Kissed Some Dommes and Made Them Cry.

(in reply to smilezz)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: What are the steps your Dom/me has done to you? - 7/5/2010 1:39:39 PM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		Our limits are so similar that it really hasn't been an issue. There's only one thing he's interested in that I don't think I could handle, and he's left it alone so far.

(in reply to FetishRose)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What are the steps your Dom/me has done to you? - 7/5/2010 2:02:14 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Once I have submitted to someone I jump in with both feet into the deep end of the pool. No steps are necessary to get me to try anything (except the few untouchable limits), I just go with the flow.

Of course.. that is one I have submitted. There are many steps that happen before that point. Ordinary imits for me are something I save for each individual top/dom, those few that are untouchable would not change no matter how long or who it is to whom I am submitting.

If you are asking what my dominants have done to me in ways other than kink I would say, given me wings to try, to fail or succeed without fearing the outcome.

(in reply to MastJason)
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RE: What are the steps your Dom/me has done to you? - 7/5/2010 3:37:41 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		And neither obedience nor service are what we strive for. Emotional transparency is.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What are the steps your Dom/me has done to you? - 7/7/2010 6:03:38 PM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline 		You ever read those fairy tales where the prince or princess or good son/daughter/etc. has to prove their worthiness by undergoing separation from their beloved and other trials of the spirit that last for years? I think real-life versions of that happen sometimes to submissives and if they are pricipled enough to refuse to "run, not walk," if they accept the cards they've been dealt, then such an experience definitely stretches their limits: of patience, of acceptance of another's will however crazy it may subjectively seem, of self-control, and of their ability to face down demons like doubt, cynicism, fear, and despair. Even if it doesn't work out between themselves and the one who "stretched" them, they have gained a lot more value as a servant and have much more to offer the next dominant they engage with. Finding a dominant who values or even recognizes such qualities can be a bit tricky these days, but it's not impossible.

_____________________________

"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo

"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

(in reply to MastJason)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What are the steps your Dom/me has done to you? - 7/7/2010 6:14:36 PM   
hopelesslyInvo


Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
Status: offline 		being told one thing, then doubling back and putting you on the spot to make a snap decision.

it's like a trick to catch you in the right moment; it seems spontaneous to you, but was probably planned to some degree. 

spotting a window of opportunity they take advantage of it, such as the common "heat of the moment" scenario.

< Message edited by hopelesslyInvo -- 7/7/2010 6:17:36 PM >

_____________________________

great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

(in reply to MastJason)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What are the steps your Dom/me has done to you? - 7/8/2010 5:19:01 AM   
HisEvelyn


Posts: 252
Joined: 1/21/2010
Status: offline 		For me, most of my limits are fading away slowly as trust grows between my Master and myself. As he shows with everyday actions that he does respect me and love me, and that he will do what he needs to do to protect me and keep me safe? I am more and more willing to do whatever he pleases, knowing that he has the skill, the intelligence and the compassion to never truly harm me. Our trust has grown to the point now where he can degrade me, hurt me, use me in nearly any way he chooses and not only will I take it, but I will love it. Because I know that under all of the kink, I am precious to him.

Recently I surprised the hell out of him, as we were discussing various things that had previously been hard limits for me. And when I told him that some of these things were no longer hard limits for me, we were both shocked by it.

Communication is key. He will gradually do a bit more, and then a bit more. Occasionally stopping and asking me, "Can you take some more?" Very specifically not asking if I WANT to take more, but if I CAN. He knows very well that I will do near anything to please him if it won't harm me emotionally or mentally, and that I will not tell him I cannot take more unless I truly can't. So even if I'm still uncertain about something and not yet to the point of truly enjoying it? If I can reasonably take more of it for him, I will. And slowly we push past. And eventually it's fun. :)

(in reply to hopelesslyInvo)
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RE: What are the steps your Dom/me has done to you? - 7/8/2010 1:10:47 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MastJason

I'm sure this topic has come up a few times before, but I'm curious.

What steps has your dom(me) done to you to help you stretch your limits?  besides the expected obedience to serve them, I'm curious what they've done to slowly (or not?) move things further?  experiences you've had you can share?


MastJason,

It is my belief that I am the biggest impediment to the furtherance mentioned. I provide the barriers, fears, insecurities, and everything in between. All the encouragement, force, and cajoling will not eradicate a structure that doesn't wish to be moved. As such, the most important thing that I can do is make the determination to go beyond those things in deference to his will and the role implied. I don't depend on him to put me in that place, but accept responsibility and accountability for the hindrances I've stationed between he and I instead.

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to MastJason)
Profile   Post #: 16
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