CynthiaWVirginia
Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: eruditebeau
Collarme provides you an excellent forum and host for which you can advertise yourself as whatever you want. The moderation and administration gives you an incredible amount of freedom to post pictures, whatever words you want practically, and to look for whatever you want. It's as good of a place as there is for the lifestyle and even some on the fringe.
I'm sorry if there have been jerks, but there a lot of benefits, too. The site weeds out the scammers as well as it can while providing a liberal place for your profile.
eridutebeau, thanks for saying this about my favorite site. I know I get sappy over it...and it's my Hotel California but I didn't want to say so in the message boards. Normally I would have dropped a note in your mailbox here. If I wanted to make any comment at all, I was left with no other option but to take it here.
I have a pet peeve to bring up, and I have to use your profile/journal as an example.
People weed out fakes, or just use filters...but I find it faintly annoying when someone's profile states that they are looking for friends and then their journal states that they won't answer (will delete unread) any mail that has no picture. If you "know" me in the message boards and can't stand me, that's completely different and excusable. 
I understand how people feel about pictures if they're only looking for someone to hook up with. However, if anyone thinks that a picture "proves" someone's real, and is not stolen from somewhere on the internet...
Pictures can be found anywyere...even in a used book store or at a college garage sale, found between the pages of a book where it was used as a bookmark; from scrapbooks sold at a bulk auction from some storage shed that wasn't paid; anytime we have pictures developed an extra copy might be made by employees and used to make profiles. I had artistic online friends who could take regular pix and alter them where nobody could tell. (They made CGI porn movies, etc., lol)
The only thing a picture would prove...is if you met up...and it proved they misrepresented themselves. How many people would be stupid enough to do this AND show up to accept their "I misrepresented myself" award?
It's your profile, so don't let my rant alter your mindset if seeing a picture somehow validates that people are real or fakes. It's your business.
I'm one of the people who won't post a pic, so if someone wants to see me they can either meet me in a public place after exchanging letters for 2 weeks, or else meet me at a munch. This is only how I think and feel about this, not a personal attack to anyone's right to make a free choice...even if I find it completely illogical.
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quote:
Also, I would not rule out people that mention sex right up front, not real and only into it for fun, There's a whole world of people out there, for whom BDSM D/s IS about the sex. It doesn't make them any less real, just another aspect of this huge world.
Thanks for spelling this out. It's not my own style and sometimes I roll my eyes over this and mutter wanker under my breath. It's good to be reminded that just because someone doesn't share my kink it doesn't make their own any less valid than mine.
At the same time, it's hard to bite my lip and stay polite when some strange *dog* starts humping my leg at hello.
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RE: weeding out the fakes - 
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