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Noob Question - 4/12/2006 2:27:00 PM

Switchgrrl

Posts: 3
Joined: 10/28/2005
Status: offline

Short of deleting my account, is there any way of dealing with someone who continues to make acccounts, personal attacks, and just is an overall, stalker freaky person?

Thanks for the help.

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RE: Noob Question - 4/12/2006 2:28:54 PM

justmeagain69

Posts: 28
Joined: 2/16/2006
From: Upstate NY
Status: offline

Aside from blocking them as they pop up, you could report them to the powers that be at collarme and see if there is something they can do. Im sure they have the ability to do IP trace and such to ferret out the individual.

Keep your chin up

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(in reply to Switchgrrl)

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RE: Noob Question - 4/12/2006 2:32:18 PM

Switchgrrl

Posts: 3
Joined: 10/28/2005
Status: offline

Thanks! I will send it to them.

(in reply to justmeagain69)

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RE: Noob Question - 4/12/2006 2:32:32 PM

MadamShy

Posts: 173
Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline

I have same problem with someone so did My daughter ... I just block each new she took down her profile for a bit to deter. .. thats when He saught Me out.... but what the other girl said is right .. talk to collar Me...

(in reply to Switchgrrl)

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RE: Noob Question - 4/12/2006 2:37:12 PM

MsSophie

Posts: 142
Joined: 3/26/2006
From: Stockholm, Sweden
Status: offline

I'd say develop a thicker hide.
Unfortunately it's just too difficult to stop someone by IP these days with the number of spoofing software going about.

These loonies will always be out there, and sadly they get encouraged by the anonymity of the Internet.

(in reply to MadamShy)

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RE: Noob Question - 4/12/2006 2:41:31 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
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report each email to Collarme, and block and report each profile as well, and just find a way to deal with it. You could always make a new profile, but why put yourself through all that hassle just to have yourself show up on the troll's search anyway. All he can do is send you nasty words...and what was that old rhyme...sticks and stones...

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RE: Noob Question - 4/12/2006 3:25:58 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

Remove your picture for a period of time, use block and hide, but don't let them win.

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(in reply to Switchgrrl)

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RE: Noob Question - 4/12/2006 3:55:37 PM

Switchgrrl

Posts: 3
Joined: 10/28/2005
Status: offline

I am sorry - if someone repeatedly calls me a cunt, I am not going to develop a thicker hide and just take it.

Thank you, everyone else, for your advice.

(in reply to MHOO314)

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RE: Noob Question - 4/12/2006 4:10:45 PM

cariad

Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline

girl had that problem too and now all she does is send one word replies or blocks them and when need be reports them to the "Powers That Be."

Taking down your pic and deleting what is in Your profile other than you are not looking for anyone at this time and see if that helps.

good luck with things

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(in reply to Switchgrrl)

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RE: Noob Question - 4/12/2006 4:46:20 PM

WyrdRich

Posts: 1733
Joined: 1/3/2005
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Or agree to meet them (You are NOT going to be there of course) but give them the addy of a leather bar and have them wear a black hankie in the right pants pocket.

(in reply to cariad)

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RE: Noob Question - 4/12/2006 4:48:12 PM

BrianSenior

Posts: 88
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline

When you see the persons name on the e mail coming in, delete it with out opening it, ok so they make a new account, when you start to read it, see somthing that is not what you want, delete it and block that name. Luckily with it being on the internet, we have the ability to get rid of it as soon as possible, they are not going to be able to touch us and so long as we dont give out our phone numbers, the only place they can go is here. The picture on the profile, I can understand and agree with getting rid of it, if for nothing else just a period of time. I see it as this, for a submissive, if the Top wants to see you, and you feel comfortable on letting them see you, send a picture then. No need to show right off. A lot of people just look for the ones with the pictures. To Me, I want to know what you look like inside, how you think, more then the outside. If there is no picture some will over look you- and again in My opinion they arent worth the time any way. That doesnt do much for the person bothering you now. Only thing to due is as you said, delete the account and start over, or as it was said, just ignore and move on. Not much else I can say. ~BK~

(in reply to cariad)

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RE: Noob Question - 4/12/2006 5:24:40 PM

Proprietrix

Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline

Delete, delete, and more delete. You're not obligated to open the mail or message or chat session.
Unfortunately, that won't stop them from changing their name and trying again.

At that point, it's back to the basics of a playground bully.
You can tell the teacher (i.e. report them to collarme and hope someone else will handle the problem)
Ignore them and sing to yourself the chants of sticks and stones.
Or run away.

Annoying, rude, and obnoxious people are part of the internet and we can't change that anymore than we can change the line at the DMV.
If it makes you feel any better, a whole bunch of us have to put up with it all the time, not just here, but on many many other places on the internet as well.

(in reply to Switchgrrl)

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RE: Noob Question - 4/12/2006 8:03:49 PM

acctonthelook

Posts: 245
Joined: 3/28/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyrdRich
give them the addy of a leather bar and have them wear a black hankie in the right pants pocket.

OMG, TOO FUNNY! I cannot remember what 'black' means but you have just got to share that info! Having been involved with the Gay community that struck my funny bone! Many here may have no idea what you meant, share with them.

Too funny! Great comment!

(in reply to WyrdRich)

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RE: Noob Question - 4/12/2006 8:08:43 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
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To the OP..I am sorry you are having such a hard time.Is this the first time ever that you have been bothered by someone via the internet?even on your computer e-mail account?or via IM when in your vanilla mode?..if it is then you have been grandly lucky..if it is not then why does it bother you more so here on CM?..And truthfully does the word cunt truly harm your sense of self worth?harm how others feel about you?harm your perception of safety?...Now if someone would say..I know where you live..and I want to rip your throat out and place the rest of you in a wood chipper then I may develop a bit of concern..but...Cunt..eh!....be well.Tempting

(in reply to Switchgrrl)

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RE: Noob Question - 4/12/2006 8:18:19 PM

MsSophie

Posts: 142
Joined: 3/26/2006
From: Stockholm, Sweden
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Switchgrrl
I am sorry - if someone repeatedly calls me a cunt, I am not going to develop a thicker hide and just take it.

Thank you, everyone else, for your advice.

Where did I say their behaviour is acceptable?
I simply stated the fact that there is nothing you, or the owners of the site, can do if this person is determined to continue. Block all the IPs you want; unless you find a way to determine a spoof address (and today not even the bank systems can do that) you won't be able to keep them out.

Developing a thicker hide is, as I said, unfortunately the only way to continue - however sad and unacceptable. This is not the only place you will find morons calling you cunt, bitch and whatever other bad name you can think of. You can't hide from this on the net today cause there will always be someone who uses the anonymity the net provides by venting their private angst. Just as you used it to vent against me when you found that my reply wasn't to your liking.

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(in reply to Switchgrrl)

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RE: Noob Question - 4/12/2006 8:33:55 PM

maybemaybenot

Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
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I've been called a cunt more than once. I am fast enough on my feet to give them a snappy little comeback, and watch all the anticipation of my reaction disappear. Which of course, just re affirms my cunt status in their eyes or breaks the ice.
It's a word. It only has power if YOU give it power.
Block the guy if it offends you. But I agree with MsSophie and Tempting. It's pretty silly to get your knickers in a wad over an idiot calling you names.
mbmbn

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When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

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RE: Noob Question - 4/12/2006 8:37:23 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

I think that MH prolly means do all the other little tidbits but toughen up as well...........assume somebody calls me cunt 12.362 million times (I actually am kinda one, not in a sexual sense) and I never rise to the bait or hope that if I give the guy or gal a stern and earnest talking to about how that's offensive and how he/she don't know me from adam and is unable to adjudicate same.........yadda yadda yadda..........so you feel better? Even if you answer you are just takin' it and then some........the person has found someone they can get a rise out of. Either that or the person read your abrasive profile and decided that you were into abrasive people and therefore is laying seige to your castle in this fashion.

(hey, really now, who fuckin' cares?)

I mean you come to the net to a sex site, and you are horrified and fighting dragons, and asking admitted sexual perverts and forthright ghosts in the machine whilst wringing your hands what to do what to do.........what drama. So, he/she is pushing an agenda you are in disagreement with, and you come out here with a self-serving post...numbers 1 2 and 3............could be construed by anyone with even an inglorious mentality as being pushing an agenda.

This thread as you prolly know thru your lurking here vicariously for some time now, will generate sympathy from the weak, a list of well meaning, but ineffective solutions from the talking heads, and insolent, arrogant, condescending and annoying posts from ne'er do well's such as myself. Comparitively, the word cunt, spoken privately seems to be rather compact and efficient.

I come around again to Mistress Hathor's way of thinking...........toughen up, kid. They will be calling you cunt when you're 98 years old......

You are young now, get over it.

Sincerely,
Ron

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RE: Noob Question - 4/12/2006 11:36:36 PM

NickInSLC

Posts: 121
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline

The one thing stalker type people most want is attention. Good or bad doesn't matter. They get off on it when they can see that they're getting under your skin. People who stalk usually have extremely low self esteem, and pissing you off validates to them that they have an effect on other people.

Unless you have reason to believe that he might know where you live or be able to find out, ninety nine times out of a hundred, the best way to deal with a stalker is to simply ignore him. If he is that one percent, buy a gun and shoot him when he comes to visit.

If this guy is really freaking you out, you might want to read 'The Gift of Fear' by Gavin DeBecker.

By the way, black hankie stands for heavy SM.

(in reply to Switchgrrl)

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RE: Noob Question - 4/13/2006 1:36:54 AM

EvilGeoff

Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyrdRich

Or agree to meet them (You are NOT going to be there of course) but give them the addy of a leather bar and have them wear a black hankie in the right pants pocket.

*chuckles*

Better yet, have him flag an orange hanky....

[For those not familiar with the hanky code, black = heavy SM player. Orange = "No Limits" Left pocket = Top, right pocket = bottom. *EVIL F'ing grin*]

< Message edited by EvilGeoff -- 4/13/2006 1:38:05 AM >

(in reply to WyrdRich)

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RE: Noob Question - 4/13/2006 2:08:34 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Arange a meeting in an isolated spot and have several 6'4" 280 lb or larger fit "Honary Brothers" (Irish Brothers are especially good) meet him and "discuss" the state of the nation or something with him.....

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