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SocratesNot -> Capitalization and other grammar quirks (6/20/2010 12:51:10 AM)
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I have noticed recently that, being influenced by the customs on this site and other BDSM sites,
I started using certain capitalization rules that are actually not prescribed by English grammar.
So I capitalize nouns (and sometimes even pronouns) referring to Dominants and I don't capitalize those that refer to submissives or slaves.
There are some examples:
Master/slave, M/s, Dominant/submissive, D/s, Master, Mistress, Dom, Domme, sub, subbie, slave, submale, subfemale, etc.
Other (more drastic) examples:
U/us, O/our, A/all, W/we, Y/you, E/everyone
He, Himself, She, Herself, Man, Woman (when refering to dominants)
he, she, man, woman (when referring to submissives)
Even more drastic examples:
self capitalization:
My, Me, Myself, Mine, etc... (dominants)
lowercasing proper names and pronound "I":
sarah, john, i, peter, hellen, etc... (submissives)
referring to oneself in plural (We instead of I) -
We, Our, Ourselves, ...(dominants)
referring to oneself in third person:
it, this slave, ... (submissives)
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I adopted this custom, but is it justified?
Personally, I think that being Dominant or submissive is a function or position in a relationship.
Inside the relationship it is perfectly reasonable to use whatever rules of grammar you want as means of reinforcing the dynamic.
So, inside the relationship - I find it perfectly logical to capitalize the words referring to dominants and to lowercase the words referring to submissives.
For example, when a slave writes a letter to his Master - she can choose to capitalize words describing Him, and lowercase words describing herself.
That's fine. She can even choose to refer to herself as "it", or "this slave" - inside the dynamic of the relationship this is perfectly understandable.
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As you have noticed, so far in this post I followed all those BDSM rules of capitalization.
In the rest of this post this will not be the case. The rest of this post is about using these rules OUTSIDE the relationship.
Even outside the relationship, I have no problem with people referring to themselves any way they like - capitalize it, lowercase it, use plural, use third person - whatever you feel is right for you.
However, I think that it is not justified to twist the rules of the grammar when referring to other people outside your own relationship on places such as forums, etc.
Why?
Because, I think that capitalization of the things that shouldn't be capitalized according to grammar implies extra respect, additional honor and respect which is beyond the basic respect that every human being should show to each other. I think that no one can earn such respect just because of being in the role of the dominant or just because he/she identifies as dominant. Having a certain role in a relationship or self-identification are not the things that warrant universal respect from other people.
Just because someone is master, it does not mean that he should be honored and respected. There are good masters and bad masters. Just because someone is master is not enough to grant him a capital M. Even this guy that starved his girl is a master. I think that he doesn't deserve a capital M. Also, there are masters that are abusers. Should they also be rewarded with capital M? I don't think so.
If they demand other people addressing them with capital letters it is still not enough for me to fulfill their request. Anyone can demand anything - but only if they deserve what they demand - I will fulfill their requests.
Also, lowercasing the things that are usually capitalized implies the lack of respect. Being submissive should never cause me to respect someone less. I think that submissives should be respected as much as dominants. Many of them excel in their submission. Many of them also excel in other areas of their life. So, lowercasing words and pronouns referring to them should not take place, IMO. However, in case of submissives, if they demand being addressed in lowercase - I will always respect their demand and fulfill it - because being addressed in lowercase, unlike capitalization, is not something that must be earned.
So - if a dominant requests being addressed in uppercase - I will do it if I feel they deserve it.
If a submissive requests being addressed in lowercase - I will always fulfill their request.
And finally - when it comes to talking in general - without having certain people in mind - I think it is best to follow official English grammar and this is what I will do in the future.
So, from now on, when referring to masters and dominants in general, without having a certain person in mind - I will not use capitalization.
From now on, unless I know who I am talking about all the dominants for me will be - doms, dommes, masters, mistresses, etc - without capitalization.
Also, I will never address the general public in forum as A/all, U/us, E/everyone, O/our, W/we, Y/you , ...
From now on, M/s will become m/s, and D/s will become d/s.
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This is just the convention that I will use in the future and I have no problems with other people adopting different conventions.
When it comes to me, personally, I prefer to be addressed according to official English grammar regardless of my role.
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I would also like to ask other people how they feel about these issues.
What rules of capitalization do you prefer to use? Why is this important to you?
What are your thoughts abut specific rules of grammar and capitalization in the world of BDSM?
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