RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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shivermetimbers -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/3/2008 10:38:19 AM)
The one that has an STD, chances are, she'll be the only woman you are sleeping with for quite some time. I keep missing my eye with my eye drops, how can I start hitting the target?

sappatoti -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/3/2008 10:47:27 AM)
Get a barrel full of the solution and dunk your head in, blinking several times just to make sure you get it in your eyes. The Christmas decorations need to go out in the yard but I'm not motivated to do so. How do I get the decorations to set themselves up?

Dnomyar -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/3/2008 11:07:02 AM)
easy. Just set the decorations out in the yard. Someone will steal them overnight and you wont have to worry about putting them up. My tiny dog wants to have sex with the neighbors great dane. without holding him up how can I help him.

tsatske -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/3/2008 11:12:55 AM)
Another great use for duct tape! Duct tape yard sticks to his feet to act as stilts! How do I get a blonde, a redhead and a brunette to all want to have sex with ME, when I am 40 fat and balding? (there is a whole group of women who find that very atractive in men, you know. Why not so many men who find that attractive in women?)

Dnomyar -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/3/2008 11:25:27 AM)
Get them very drunk and then lie about your age. how do you expect to be on here when your fat and bald and 40?

tsatske -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/3/2008 3:51:57 PM)
Where else would you be when you are a fat, bald 40 year old chick? next time you are wanking off, cybering with some hot 20 year old nyophyte who sent you a nude dirty pic of herself - cause she just doesn't happen to own any pics of herself clothed at a family picnic... think about it. If my batteries are dead, what are some good things to use for wanking off?

GoodFeathers -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/5/2008 6:00:44 AM)
Hook it up to your car battery and let 'er rip. Or, attach the uhm...implement in question to the end of a sawsall and turn it on. Hope you like friction... Fat, bald, and 40 and He's out of duct tape, what do we do?

shivermetimbers -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/7/2008 12:03:55 AM)
Super glue, hair from the barber shop floor, and a Richard Simmons video. I have a sweet tooth, but sugar gives me indigestion. How can I eat sweets without suffering?

GoodFeathers -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/7/2008 12:36:01 PM)
Intravenous injection. Have your sugar, but eat a carrot while your doing so...health is important you know. Sir got a new mini bullet vibe, but the batteries died! What do we do now?

tsatske -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/7/2008 5:27:44 PM)
Do you have a smith and wesson? It's called a bullet vibe for a reason. What if I don't want to let the pretty little subbie girl go home when her visit is over? We don't actually own a basement....

shivermetimbers -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/8/2008 12:27:41 AM)
The crawl space will work just fine. How do I know I've hooked up the jumper cables correctly?

stella41b -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/8/2008 12:32:26 AM)
By the agony you're in from having them attached to your nipples. What's the best way to peel a potato?

E2Sweet -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/8/2008 12:57:38 AM)
Plastic explosives. I have snow covering my driveway and I'm really not in the mood to shovel. How can I remove it?

jlf1961 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/8/2008 1:40:25 AM)
Soak the driveway in Alcohol, then set it on fire. Dont use gasoline, it causes pollution. My extremely sensible sister (co-owner of the house and property) refuses to allow me to get a full sized WORKING replica of a civil war field artillery piece, how can I convince her to change her mind?

sirsholly -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/8/2008 3:18:29 AM)
have her stand in front of it and show her that it does work. Enough of this cold weather already!!!

KMsAngel -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/8/2008 3:50:50 AM)
what cold weather? come down under and enjoy temps soon to be boiling how do i get the scheduling done without getting more headaches?

sappatoti -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/8/2008 11:47:20 AM)
Throw the calendars into a blazing fireplace and enjoy a relaxing adult beverage by the glow of their flames. I need to be in two places at one time. How can I clone myself on the cheap?

scifi1133 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/8/2008 11:54:38 AM)
Just split yourself down the middle with an average kitchen knife. That should work. I need to get back to florida for the wedding but have no vacation time or money.

sappatoti -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/8/2008 11:59:21 AM)
Tell your boss you need to go under cover to track down some perps in FL (which, depending upon how things go may not be too far from the truth... :-P) and will be needing an expense account. A CD has decided to become lodged in my slot-load drive and the manual eject button doesn't appear to release it. Now what?

esotericbabe -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/8/2008 12:07:27 PM)
Dig it out with a pair of pliers. How do I get over a cold faster?

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