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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/14/2006 11:57:44 AM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		I think you should wear your tight leather pants from your 80's glory days and that T-shirt that says "Mom's do it right"


I can't seem to find the motivation to stick to my diet. What do I do?

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 721
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/14/2006 10:14:39 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I can't seem to find the motivation to stick to my diet. What do I do?


Go buy the entire TV series Rosanne. Look at her and then think of eating. It can't be done. Tom Arnold proved that.


It is 1:15 AM and I am not tired yet. Perhaps there is some way do induce sleep without the use of drugs?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Littlepita)
Profile   Post #: 722
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/15/2006 4:30:28 AM   
angelface183


Posts: 688
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		Mass quantities of alcohol, of course!

My boss is a tyrant and has been known to make me cry, what should I do?

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 723
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/15/2006 5:30:10 AM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

My boss is a tyrant and has been known to make me cry, what should I do?


Shoot him.  Then you can go stay with the nice people in maximum security who would never be that mean.
 
I'm not at work today because I'm experiencing vertigo and the whole room is spinning.  I need to see a doctor, but can't drive.  What should I do?

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to angelface183)
Profile   Post #: 724
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/15/2006 5:49:33 AM   
angelface183


Posts: 688
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		Forget the Doctor...just take some Dramamine for the motion sickness and enjoy the ride!

I am now in Maximum Security having killed my boss.  A rather large woman named Bertha has asked me (if you call grabbing me by hair and throwing me against a wall asking) to be her bitch.  I prefer my Dommes to be a little more fem...should I suggest a makeover?

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 725
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/15/2006 12:10:16 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		You may hand her a victorias secret catalogue under the guise of ripping them off, maybe she will catch on.  Other than that I am one of those guys that wanna watch this play out.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to angelface183)
Profile   Post #: 726
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/15/2006 2:26:28 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline 		Ron, Ron, Ron, Ron... you didn't post a question. AGAIN!!!


I have to do laundry tonight but I am not sure I will have the time. Is there a way I can do laundry and still do the things I need to?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 727
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/15/2006 2:40:31 PM   
spankmepink11


Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline 		No there's no way around it....throw away all the dirty clothes and go on a shopping spree


 My Mom's coming to visit,...and is very nosy...where can i possibly hide all my BDSM clothing...books...toys...

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 728
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/15/2006 2:58:52 PM   
angelface183


Posts: 688
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		there's no way around it throw them all away and go on a shopping spree when she leaves!

i want to order a pizza, but i am lactose intolerant what should i do?

(in reply to spankmepink11)
Profile   Post #: 729
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/15/2006 4:09:12 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

i want to order a pizza, but i am lactose intolerant what should i do


Don't drink milk with it. Duh.


I just looked at the labels of some frozen dinner I bought. I find the sodium content to be very, very high. Is there anything I can do to lower that?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to angelface183)
Profile   Post #: 730
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/15/2006 4:23:37 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Add lots and lots of salt.  I hear that absorbs sodium.

I'm buying a 77 gallon tank, but don't have a car.  How can I get it home?

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 731
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/15/2006 4:29:15 PM   
angelface183


Posts: 688
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		have them put it in a plastic bag, you know the kind with handles.  oh and have them fill it up with water for you too, and use their dechlorinator...that way you don't have to buy any!

I didn't get my mom anything for Mother's Day , what should I do?

< Message edited by angelface183 -- 5/15/2006 4:30:14 PM >

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 732
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/15/2006 4:31:33 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Write her a polite e-mail explaining that she's not your mother, and that you know, because you were there at your own birth.

I'm hungry, but full at the same time. What should I do?

Yours,


benji 

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to angelface183)
Profile   Post #: 733
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/15/2006 4:33:32 PM   
angelface183


Posts: 688
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		eat in the bathroom!

My mom just showed me videos of my birth, that wouldn't be so bad but it included my conception too!  How do I get rid of that image?

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 734
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/15/2006 4:36:17 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Hydrochloric acid in the ears. 

How do I get rid of all the dust bunnies under my couches?

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to angelface183)
Profile   Post #: 735
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/15/2006 4:51:12 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

How do I get rid of all the dust bunnies under my couches?


Go to the pet store and buy dust foxes to eat the bunnies.

I can't find my passport and need to replace it fast for an upcoming trip out of the US.

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 736
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/15/2006 6:42:46 PM   
CERCKL


Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline 		C'mon...why do you need advice for this; photoshop, scanner and "F" Homeland Security...or order one online from another country if you don't feel creative :-P

I can't seem to get my teen to help with chores, now what???

C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 737
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/15/2006 8:35:49 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dorsaisgirl1

should i shave or wax my cunt

Should you decide not to do both, then definitely wax:

  • First, wash the surface to remove bugs, tar, and road grime.
  • Dry the surface with a sheepskin chamois.
  • Hire the kid next door to apply was with broad, lapping motions.
  • Select only the finest Simonize Turtle wax.
  • If you use an buffer, move it in gentle sweeps.
  • Use a conditioner to treat black rubber parts.
  • Finally, take it out for a spin.

This has been Click and Clack for Car Talk

(in reply to dorsaisgirl1)
Profile   Post #: 738
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/15/2006 8:39:37 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
Oops, how did I get out of sync?

quote:

ORIGINAL: CERCKL

I can't seem to get my teen to help with chores, now what???


Advice: Get the brochure for the Stepford Teens.


Help: Obviously I need advice posting! What, O what, must I do?

(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 739
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/15/2006 11:02:26 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Help: Obviously I need advice posting! What, O what, must I do?


You know the old saying "Practice makes perfect?" Well that is a load of shit. If after over 800 posts you don't know how to post it would be best if you gave up, sold your computer and invested in crayons and paper you then could start your own message board on a telephone poll outside your home.

I am getting too cynical as I get older. Is this a problem and if so, what should I do about it?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 740
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