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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/16/2006 2:08:17 AM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Unleash your inner urban warrior.  Start up an underground
group a la "Fight Club".  But sure to visit several self-help and
specific disease support groups, even if they don't apply to you.
The tears and sweaty hugs by giant guys with "man boobs"
and soul searing confessions will replace your faith in lost
humanity.
 
I have to submit final projects for a class at 7:30 am one day
this week.  As a inveterate insomniac, there is no way in Hell
I can go to sleep early enough to have a decent amount of
REM sleep that night.  What the F*** do I do?!
 
-Vendaval-


quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
I am getting too cynical as I get older. Is this a problem and if so, what should I do about it?


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 741
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/16/2006 2:22:18 AM   
rivenmoon


Posts: 330
Joined: 6/5/2005
Status: offline 		Your a dominant be firm, send yourself to bed and demand you sleep, take a hammer and knock yourself out.
 
I have a nervous habit of putting my foot-in-my-mouth at social functions, what can I do?

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 742
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/16/2006 2:13:42 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I have a nervous habit of putting my foot-in-my-mouth at social functions, what can I do?


Make sure that you wash them with soap and water before inserting them in your mouth. Apply a nice, edible, sented oil to them also.


I need to decide whether or not to stay with dial-up or to get DSL. What should I do?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to rivenmoon)
Profile   Post #: 743
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/16/2006 2:19:59 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Gauge buddy,

Holland is a long way off, now if you wanna learn Dutch as a Second Language I would go for the CDs because talking on the telephone to learn it is gonna cost a bundle.

I need it to be friday, again; already; suggestions?

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 744
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/16/2006 2:22:59 PM   
angelface183


Posts: 688
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		wash down a handful of valium with a bottle of Nyquil and before you know it, it's Friday!

My Beloved is coming over in about an hour and I still haven't finished cleaning my apartment.  What should I do?

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 745
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/16/2006 2:32:40 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

My Beloved is coming over in about an hour and I still haven't finished cleaning my apartment.  What should I do?


Greet him at the door naked, on your knees and hand him his preferred toy of choice. If he notices the apartment isn't clean BEFORE enjoying your greeting you may have a bigger problem than a dirty apartment.

My employee made me his "ultimate" decision maker. He's going through a very serious medical procedure tomorrow. If something happens should I sell his pick up truck or give it to my son?

(in reply to angelface183)
Profile   Post #: 746
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/16/2006 2:35:24 PM   
angelface183


Posts: 688
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		Actually Merc & beth, that's pretty good advice!

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 747
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/16/2006 2:46:40 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Fuck, are you kidding me?  Give it to your kid, that way there is no grey area in the conflict of interest game and you don't have to spend a bundle on lawyers arguing meaningless shit.

I NEED a truck right now, are you looking to adopt?



_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 748
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/17/2006 11:23:39 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I NEED a truck right now, are you looking to adopt?


Ron, do not ask such a question. Show up on Merc's doorstep and when he opens the door, hug him and call him Dad. I am sure the truck will not be far behind.


I need something to read for my bedtime reading. Any thoughts?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 749
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/17/2006 12:10:23 PM   
MyCaptainsPet


Posts: 219
Joined: 1/22/2006
Status: offline 		Try "Red Hat, Blue Hat" Or "The Cat in the Hat"

i sprained my ankle badly today, how can i keep the swelling down?

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 750
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/17/2006 1:30:10 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		MOM! DAD!

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 751
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/17/2006 2:23:07 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

i sprained my ankle badly today, how can i keep the swelling down?


It is a well known fact that you can keep swelling down by using a large hammer and beating on the swelling area. This will disperse the fluid and your ankle will be good as new in no time.


They are cutting trees in my neighborhood and the sound is loud and it disturbs my sleep. What can I do?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to MyCaptainsPet)
Profile   Post #: 752
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/17/2006 4:36:16 PM   
MyCaptainsPet


Posts: 219
Joined: 1/22/2006
Status: offline 		Take two sleeping pills and put one in each ear to block the noise...

i can't remember special dates during the year, what should i do?

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 753
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/17/2006 5:45:02 PM   
Reflectivesoul


Posts: 1777
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline 		Call everyone you know on the second day of the new year and wish them a multitude of things, birthdays, aniversaries, graduations everything... then send out a pile of cards on the 3rd commorating each event. When the day rolls around and someone bitches that you forgot, say nope I was just ahead of the game!
 
My ex and his mom live close to me and they are always pestering the hell out of me, what should I do to make them stop?

(in reply to MyCaptainsPet)
Profile   Post #: 754
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/17/2006 5:47:28 PM   
CERCKL


Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline 		Go over to their place and offer them cocktails, Molotov...

I would like to find a better paying job, what should I do?

C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to Reflectivesoul)
Profile   Post #: 755
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/17/2006 5:50:09 PM   
Reflectivesoul


Posts: 1777
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline 		Strut into the office of a prospective employer and put your dick on the desk and say " this is what I'm bringing to the party".
 
I want to get another 81 T-Bird and cant find one, what should I do?
 
 

(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 756
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/17/2006 5:57:13 PM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline 		RS
Call Mattel.

What kind of swith should I switch a switch with. Hickory?


_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together


(in reply to Reflectivesoul)
Profile   Post #: 757
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/17/2006 6:13:52 PM   
Reflectivesoul


Posts: 1777
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline 		nope you should swith with a rubber garden hose its the best swithin there is *giggles*
 
I like bubblewrap and I ran out, what should I do?

(in reply to Wulfchyld)
Profile   Post #: 758
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/17/2006 6:19:04 PM   
tade


Posts: 663
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Tampa Bay, Florida
Status: offline 		Lay out in the sun until nice and blistered, then pop away.

I can't stop scratching this bug bite... Thoughts?

_____________________________

I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.
Hunter S. Thompson

It's a magical world Hobbes 'ole buddy. Let's go explorin'~ Calvin

(in reply to Reflectivesoul)
Profile   Post #: 759
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/17/2006 6:23:32 PM   
Reflectivesoul


Posts: 1777
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline 		take an industrial strength toilet brush and scratch at it with that untill it breaks open then take rubbing alcohol and iodine and pour them into the wound and after that take a half a lemon and rub it over the entire area for 15 minutes, to soak up any excess seepage run around with a maxi pad stuck to your forehead.
 
my friend has a really bad hairdo and I want to tell her to change it, how should I go about telling her?

(in reply to tade)
Profile   Post #: 760
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