RE: Defining "Lifestyle"

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RE: Defining "Lifestyle" - 6/21/2010 4:31:00 AM

crazyml

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Lifestyle = Too much style, not enough life.

Quality!

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RE: Defining "Lifestyle" - 6/21/2010 4:39:25 AM

crazyml

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To the OP:

It's clear (as usual!) that there are many different takes on this.

Personally, the term implies that BDSM is a major defining characteristic of the way a lifestyle BDSM'er lives their life. Now it's ok if that's true of you, but for me BDSM is a part of my life, just as sailing is, or hiking, or reading etc

I could no more describe myself as a "Lifestyle Dom" as I could a "Lifestyle Sailor".

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RE: Defining "Lifestyle" - 6/21/2010 5:34:36 AM

mistoferin

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Fast reply~

I use the term "lifestyle" or "lifestylers" in reference to people who have relationships that are authority transfer, whether they be M/s or D/s. Those relationships may or may not involve BDSM, be sadist/masochist or sexually kinky. I use the term "kinksters" in reference to folks whose only draw to this is BDSM, sadism/masochism or sexual kinks. Lifestylers may also be kinksters but the kink is only one aspect of their lifestyle.

I don't believe that you can live a "BDSM lifestyle". I don't believe you can live a "sadism/masochism lifestyle". I don't believe you can live a "sexually kinky lifestyle". Those are activities and really don't express the manner in which you live your life other than during the moments when you are engaging in those activities.

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RE: Defining "Lifestyle" - 6/21/2010 7:52:37 AM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLadyIsADomme

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

I call that a "True Pragmatist". Maybe we should start a thread on that? *laughs*

Yes, I was thinking very similarly. Trying to find consensus on a definition might be a slight bit more difficult than the proverbial "herding of cats". LOL

I have eight cats...I assure you that herding cats is alot easier!!! than finding a consensus on definition to a label.

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RE: Defining "Lifestyle" - 6/21/2010 8:11:23 AM

Andalusite

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I've only used the "lifestyle" term here, to indicate "non-pro." If I am in a D/s relationship, I don't think of it as a role I can step in and out of. I was their Domme (or submissive, or slave, chronologically speaking) 24/7, just as I was their girlfriend whether I was at work, asleep, or doing fun things with them. If you don't like that term, perhaps "relationship-oriented," "amateur," "girlfriend Domme," or some other label would fit you more comfortably?

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RE: Defining "Lifestyle" - 6/21/2010 1:59:50 PM

CallaFirestormBW

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLadyIsADomme

So, in that vein, I *don't* define myself as a "lifestyle" domme. But is there a third category, or am I putting too fne a microscope on the whole issue? How do you define yourself, or your relationship, in the context of the "lifestyle"?

There is a lot of debate about the use of the term "lifestyle". For me, my "lifestyle" is the way that I choose to live my life -- including the fact that I like authority-based relationships as a part of that way of life. I have a -lot- of relationships in my life, as I am part of an extended poly household -- however, not everyone in our household has anything to do with authority-based dynamics, so it certainly isn't the most pervasive feature of our home. However, for me, the authority dynamics are part of my "lifestyle" -- they're part of the way that I choose to live, and the things that I choose to do. It seemed to me that this was the definition in which the question about pro or lifestyle applied -- if you participated in activities as a job, you fit on one side... if you participated in activities because it was just the way you lived your life, you fit into the "lifestyle" side. In truth, most of the pros I've known have also been "lifestylers", so it's a bit of a redundancy IMO, but I think that was sort of the direction it was meant.

That being said, I don't think that there is any real concrete, all-encompassing M/s, D/s, K/s, BDSM, etc., "lifestyle" -- as in "one way of living that everyone in that group aspires to". So in that sense, it's just a life -- with all its bits and pieces and parts.

Calla

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