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RE: i need some advice please - 6/22/2010 2:07:13 PM

DarlingSavage

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First of all, just because she is legally recognized as an adult means nothing, the fact of the matter is that human beings do not psychologically mature to full adulthood until the age of 25, and that's under the best of circumstances. That's Psych 101.

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Post #: 101

RE: i need some advice please - 6/22/2010 2:08:57 PM

DarlingSavage

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You also fail to realize that he is having her tell him all her deepest emotions and all her thoughts and everything which is very, very emotionally binding. Shame on you! God, shame on you!

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Post #: 102

RE: i need some advice please - 6/22/2010 2:09:35 PM

lucky2beyours91

Posts: 58
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Well, i am the one who messaged Him and asked for Him to be my Master.

He is the one who decided if His Dominant style was right for me, and it was.

Not like He went out perving me.

(in reply to DarlingSavage)

Post #: 103

RE: i need some advice please - 6/22/2010 2:10:14 PM

WinsomeDefiance

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Because I have sons each 19 years and older, I see quite a few 19 year old gals that they hang out with. Anyone who believes that these 19 year olds are naive and innocent needs to listen in on a few of their converations. Most of the 19 year olds I've met are pretty damn sexually savvy. I'd go so far as to say, most of the "being taken advantage of" was the 19 year old (give or take) capitalizing on (taking advantge of) their youhful assets.

(in reply to AQuietSimpleMan)

Post #: 104

RE: i need some advice please - 6/22/2010 2:13:16 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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From: The Great Frozen North
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lucky2beyours91

So i couldn't just get use to this? i think maybe i can is the thing? if i stop being so sensitive? Because He does give me a lot of attention and what i keep telling myself is that i don't need to be first..i am with Him for the experience because i am in college ....i am having the time of my life...having a D/s relationship at this age with someone so experienced is just icing on the cake. i have all my life to find that one person who will give me everything. But at my age, i can't and don't want to find that one person yet..i just want to learn and gain experience only.

Then what's your problem?

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Post #: 105

RE: i need some advice please - 6/22/2010 2:13:51 PM

PeanutTigerinBox

Posts: 1624
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan

quote:

Well birds of a feather, shame on you. Your words above do not justify sexual predation of children. Sorry.

And so you assume that the only way this worked is with him preying on her, she was helpless and he came to her and offered her candy right?

Did it not occur to you that maybe she found him, made her desire known and then showed dedication in wanting it?

I have no idea how it happened but I don't assume that there was "predation" of Anyone in this senario.

And I'm sorry the state and country recognized her as an adult at 18 and so at 19 there is no doubt in my mind that you want to see her as a child but the country agrees that she isn't one.

Just cause you want to coddle the age of a person does not mean that they need it.

Mother your own children and leave those that are out there trying to make their way in the world who don't need it alone.

My God, at what age is a person able to make up thier own mind for you people? At what age will you allow your children to make their own decisions.

At what age would it be okay to be with somone who is 50. At 25? At 30? at 40? Seriously what age is it okay for someone to be attacted to someone who is 50?

More over that what age is off limits to someone who is 50? Legally all she has to be is 18, and Legal age of consent in MANY places is 17 and in some states as young as 15. So considering that she is of legal age to engage in any legal activity why is it so wrong?

QSM

Very well said.

The guy I am currently dating is 45 and is poly...his slave is also 19...and he admitted it caused him some difficulties in the beginning...however there are already some aspects where I can see that he does take care of her...eg she wanted to get a tattoo for him a la as meaning "forever with him"...he disagreed...if she would want that she can do that at a later time in her life as at that age she can easily change her mind...so he makes sure she doesnt do such wrong decisions due to her excitement about life with being a young adult...therefore being older...doesnt equals being irresponsible...

and in particular regarding not to mother her....it was overdue to be said...I got that nonsense a lot from colleagues and "friends" when they knew I am off to go abroad again to meet someone...and gosh even someoen who might beat me...by now I don't tell them anymore when I am going as I got sick and tired of that crap. Yes, I am not 19 anymore but those colleagues are up to 30 years older, so the age difference is similar. I made clear to them, that I am not having any of that crap. If I want advice I will ask, but I don't put up with "mothering" crap from anyone....

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Post #: 106

RE: i need some advice please - 6/22/2010 2:13:52 PM

lucky2beyours91

Posts: 58
Joined: 6/22/2010
Status: offline

Anyways, this argument is stupid and has nothing to do with the question i asked :/
Really, it's your opinion if you think it's ok or not but i am the one in the relationship and find it fine so i guess it is.

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 107

RE: i need some advice please - 6/22/2010 2:16:19 PM

PeanutTigerinBox

Posts: 1624
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage

First of all, just because she is legally recognized as an adult means nothing, the fact of the matter is that human beings do not psychologically mature to full adulthood until the age of 25, and that's under the best of circumstances. That's Psych 101.

and still you aren't in the position to judge now how "mature" she is

If you like that fact or not

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Post #: 108

RE: i need some advice please - 6/22/2010 2:18:00 PM

DarlingSavage

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lucky2beyours91

Well, i am the one who messaged Him and asked for Him to be my Master.

He is the one who decided if His Dominant style was right for me, and it was.

Not like He went out perving me.

And his correct response should have been to be friends but not take you on as his own. Period. He failed. Furthermore, he is using tactics which are very emotionally binding. You're already starting to feel the sting of this. What if he decides he doesn't want you around anymore? What if he decides when you're 21 that you're now too old and he wants a new 18 or 19 yr old. Also, what about that wife of his? How do you think this makes her feel? Have you tried putting yourself in her place? I mean, you obviously don't have THAT much respect for her position cause you're still hanging around.

_____________________________

<-- Easily amused.
<-- Easily impressed.

Strangers have the BEST candy!

Puppy dogs are my favorite people!

(in reply to lucky2beyours91)

Post #: 109

RE: i need some advice please - 6/22/2010 2:18:36 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

well, you didn't call her immature, but you do claim her to be naive

You think naive and immature are the same thing?

Immature, in this context, would mean immature for her age. I have no evidence that she is immature. Naive on the other hand has nothing to do with immaturity....

My son is naive about many things.... he is mature enough to admit that freely...

You know I had a conversation about drugs with him when I saw him a week ago. He said "Mom, I have tried things, but I decided I wasn't going to smoke pot or anything like that until I am 25, because my brain is still developing"... I call that "mature". It does not change the fact he has little life experience and that is not knowledgeable about many things of the world...

Although compared to many people I have met, I would say he is way wise beyond his years

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Post #: 110

RE: i need some advice please - 6/22/2010 2:19:49 PM

PeanutTigerinBox

Posts: 1624
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage

You also fail to realize that he is having her tell him all her deepest emotions and all her thoughts and everything which is very, very emotionally binding. Shame on you! God, shame on you!

MYoMY interesting how some folks only like to see it negative...quite frankly I wish I would have had someone in her age where I would have been able to talk open about my thoughts and emotions...took me the age of 27 to find that one...again...nothing wrong with it....it is ok to have good and bonding relationships...the one making those relationships to a problem are you, doesn't mean he is automatically a bad person

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Post #: 111

RE: i need some advice please - 6/22/2010 2:21:02 PM

PeanutTigerinBox

Posts: 1624
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

well, you didn't call her immature, but you do claim her to be naive

You think naive and immature are the same thing?

Now, where did I say it is the same???

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Post #: 112

RE: i need some advice please - 6/22/2010 2:23:39 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

Because I have sons each 19 years and older, I see quite a few 19 year old gals that they hang out with. Anyone who believes that these 19 year olds are naive and innocent needs to listen in on a few of their converations. Most of the 19 year olds I've met are pretty damn sexually savvy. I'd go so far as to say, most of the "being taken advantage of" was the 19 year old (give or take) capitalizing on (taking advantge of) their youhful assets.

So this is all about sex to you? That isn't what I was talking about in regard to "naive"....

I am talking about knowing what it is to be taken advantage of, used, or somehow hurt by the world. I am talking about being worldly and knowing when something is a bad scene, or someone shouldn't be trusted or should be trusted....

These are skills that our intuition gives us, and that are aided by life experience... we aren't born with all of the tools to know who to trust and whom not to

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Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 113

RE: i need some advice please - 6/22/2010 2:25:16 PM

lucky2beyours91

Posts: 58
Joined: 6/22/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage

quote:

ORIGINAL: lucky2beyours91

Well, i am the one who messaged Him and asked for Him to be my Master.

He is the one who decided if His Dominant style was right for me, and it was.

Not like He went out perving me.

And his correct response should have been to be friends but not take you on as his own. Period. He failed. Furthermore, he is using tactics which are very emotionally binding. You're already starting to feel the sting of this. What if he decides he doesn't want you around anymore? What if he decides when you're 21 that you're now too old and he wants a new 18 or 19 yr old. Also, what about that wife of his? How do you think this makes her feel? Have you tried putting yourself in her place? I mean, you obviously don't have THAT much respect for her position cause you're still hanging around.

He's had many submissives ....i am the youngest He has had. He does not accept many. i had to prove i was worthy, i had to do some stuff in order for Him to accept me as His submissive. i did it better than most 40 year olds He said that have wanted Him.
The fact is i have the potential and i showed it that i did to become the goddness submissive He desires... if i am able to do so and have showed i am...why does my age matter? if i am ready? if W/we have a connection? If i truly feel my true feelings coming out when around Him.

His wife and Him are swingers, i know Her already have met her..He makes sure no one goes over His wife..and i respect Him a lot for that, for the respect He has for Her.
Not to mention she trains her own boys since she is a Domme.

But, i really shouldn't be discussing this further,. it seems wrong to.
Just you don't really know the situation so it's kind of hard to judge you are making a lot of assumptions that really aren't true.

(in reply to DarlingSavage)

Post #: 114

RE: i need some advice please - 6/22/2010 2:25:21 PM

angelikaJ

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Joined: 6/22/2007
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Just because there are people questioning your level of maturity or the integrity of his motives does not mean you should necessarily defend either him or your relationship or respond to them.

Edit: clarity.

< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 6/22/2010 2:27:50 PM >

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Post #: 115

RE: i need some advice please - 6/22/2010 2:25:58 PM

PeanutTigerinBox

Posts: 1624
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage

quote:

ORIGINAL: lucky2beyours91

Well, i am the one who messaged Him and asked for Him to be my Master.

He is the one who decided if His Dominant style was right for me, and it was.

Not like He went out perving me.

And his correct response should have been to be friends but not take you on as his own. Period. He failed. Furthermore, he is using tactics which are very emotionally binding. You're already starting to feel the sting of this. What if he decides he doesn't want you around anymore? What if he decides when you're 21 that you're now too old and he wants a new 18 or 19 yr old. Also, what about that wife of his? How do you think this makes her feel? Have you tried putting yourself in her place? I mean, you obviously don't have THAT much respect for her position cause you're still hanging around.

And who says that wouldn't happen to her with someone lets say aged 24????

And who says that there isn't an agreement about facts like that?
Doesn't mean that his wife has a choice in that respect anyway as some Poly Doms make it very clear they are and remain poly and any marriage won't change anything about that fact...so there then it would be pretty inappropriate to try to use that emotional flaw in your argument....as I understood her post they know from each other, therefore it seems to be an open fact within that relationship...and not behind her back

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Post #: 116

RE: i need some advice please - 6/22/2010 2:26:04 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeanutTigerinBox

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

well, you didn't call her immature, but you do claim her to be naive

You think naive and immature are the same thing?

Now, where did I say it is the same???

I said I never said she was immature, you said I said she was naive... so you were just offering up a red herring,.... gotcha!

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to PeanutTigerinBox)

Post #: 117

RE: i need some advice please - 6/22/2010 2:27:55 PM

PeanutTigerinBox

Posts: 1624
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lucky2beyours91

Just you don't really know the situation ... you are making a lot of assumptions that really aren't true.

very true on here

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Post #: 118

RE: i need some advice please - 6/22/2010 2:30:20 PM

PeanutTigerinBox

Posts: 1624
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeanutTigerinBox

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

well, you didn't call her immature, but you do claim her to be naive

You think naive and immature are the same thing?

Now, where did I say it is the same???

I said I never said she was immature, you said I said she was naive... so you were just offering up a red herring,.... gotcha!

Well, its just that in my opinion naming someone as naive isnt on any better level then to claim someone is immature (doesnt mean that I think it is the same!).

Nevertheless, both are terms to talk down to someones ability to judge, hence why I reminded about that one...

and now, as interesting as it is here...its time to get back to my dissertation for now...as hard as it is to leave that hot discussion here

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Post #: 119

RE: i need some advice please - 6/22/2010 2:30:30 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage
And his correct response should have been to be friends but not take you on as his own. Period. He failed. Furthermore, he is using tactics which are very emotionally binding. You're already starting to feel the sting of this. What if he decides he doesn't want you around anymore? What if he decides when you're 21 that you're now too old and he wants a new 18 or 19 yr old. Also, what about that wife of his? How do you think this makes her feel? Have you tried putting yourself in her place? I mean, you obviously don't have THAT much respect for her position cause you're still hanging around.

Here is exactly what I tell people when they ask Me the very same thing regarding MP and clip.

They both have separate places in My life. They have both seen each other's job (one a husband to Me and the other submissive to Me) and quite frankly, neither of them wants the position that the other one has. That's one of the benefits of poly. MP isn't trying to be the submissive to Me that he knows fulfills My life and clip isn't trying to be the romantic love that fulfills My life. It would be silly to suggest that clip doesn't respect My husband because it's clip's ass that I'm beating rather than MP's. Actually, MP is kind of grateful for that.

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(in reply to DarlingSavage)

Post #: 120

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