RE: Beginning Rules? Punishments? [Distance Involved]

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RE: Beginning Rules? Punishments? [Distance Involved] - 7/1/2010 12:23:29 PM

Yourscum

Posts: 57
Joined: 6/29/2010
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"Goodness, people ask all the time for ideas and I feel like I'm being jumped on for doing so"

Yes people ask all the time, and more often than not they're also attacked and put down for it, at least from what I've seen so far. Just take a quick look around this message board, you'll see what I mean. Put the people with unhelpful, irrelevant, or downright stupid responses on your ignore list so you don't have to deal with their crap in the future.

(in reply to FeistyRed)

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RE: Beginning Rules? Punishments? [Distance Involved] - 7/1/2010 5:24:31 PM

thornhappy

Posts: 8596
Joined: 12/16/2006
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Generally folks jump on the master because if he calls himself one, he shouldn't have to assign things like this to his sub/slave. Some of his ideas sounded like stuff you'd find straight off internet fantasies.

Just check out threads like "I was bad so my master sent me here to get punishment ideas".

(in reply to Yourscum)

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RE: Beginning Rules? Punishments? [Distance Involved] - 7/1/2010 5:39:40 PM

barelynangel

Posts: 6233
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Personally, i don't think following rules necessarily will teach you about or even give you and idea about D/s on a more offline concept. I mean there are rules you follow in your everday life so to me, having someone who isn't really an authority in your life make you up MORE to follow seems redundant.

If you think about it, you follow rules daily.

I would say what others are saying -- take this time to get to know each other more of how each other think and likes and dislikes. The D/s will come naturally if he knows how to use his knowledge of you.

angel

_____________________________

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson

(in reply to thornhappy)

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RE: Beginning Rules? Punishments? [Distance Involved] - 7/6/2010 7:36:12 AM

kinkyfunluv33

Posts: 8
Joined: 2/21/2009
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It always troubles me when people seek "punishments", and 99% of the time its for good reason. All to often, people new to this lifestyle think its all about punishing your partner.
They will punish, punish, punish for no reason, and in the end 99% of the time the relationship ends on a sour note. I agree with everything people have said already, find out more
about the lifestyle, what domination and submission **means to you** , not how can I inflict pain or punishment because I think that makes me a "DOM".

(in reply to barelynangel)

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RE: Beginning Rules? Punishments? [Distance Involved] - 7/6/2010 9:41:25 AM

gedienstig

Posts: 155
Joined: 5/9/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

It can be fun to play it out on the computer though at first. I did for a bit. And it did give me a bit of an understanding of what is involved. It's just a little taste, and not the real thing for sure, but can be quite fun for someone who has never done anything like this before.

Thank you for wording my thoughts too. At first, before I had any experience, I did some assignments like these via computer, I was like "This is amazing, I love this", checking my e-mail every half an hour etc ;-)

But like blushes said, it's just to get a taste, to make sure you love doing this. If someone would come over to me now with "online rules to follow" I would probably be like "Yes, that is DEFINITELY going to happen" (reread that last sentence and add the sarcasm if that didn't come of the first time)

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If they say why, why?
Tell 'em that it's human nature

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RE: Beginning Rules? Punishments? [Distance Involved] - 7/8/2010 9:18:09 AM

MasterGreg43

Posts: 79
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Fla, Ga, NY, NJ, MD, VA, now PA
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No a bunch of rule giving though a computer want give u the experience of BDSM but I understand u are just getting ur feet wet but u do have to understand u are speaking with a lot of real time Master and Mistress so we see something like this it does buffers use for a min.

You will have to deal more real time face to face and body to body as one of the other comments said to fully gather the experience of this lifestyle, long distance only works if u have had the physcial experience with same Dom, if not then u are only teasing urself, sooner or later u will have to make a lifestyle choice to step fully into learning even at a slower pace or just stick to bedroom Dom for the kinky side of play

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Master Greg
PA Dominant King
Dominant King of Sweet Palace of Pain
Master of Sweet House of Pleasure & Pain

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RE: Beginning Rules? Punishments? [Distance Involved] - 7/11/2010 6:46:18 PM

mastertizzi

Posts: 19
Joined: 7/7/2010
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everyone else put in alot of good advice, so being that im not particularly good at this kind of advice im just gonna skip down to suggestions on play ideas:

1. speaking permissions:
raise hand when wishes to speak
must address dom in a proper method (example: yes master i would love to..., thank you master for..., your little slave would...(just fill in the last part, and be creative))
speaking privileges taken away as punishment
must write out (using a marker in mouth) what sub/slave wishes to say on paper (punish for spelling errors)

2. time outs:
stand on tippitoes
squatting on tippitoes
nose to the floor in the corner (effective with skirt lifted to display for master)
a marked time out square or circle (is very small marked with tape on the floor or whatever, when punished sub/slave must keep feet inside the area or time count starts over at zero again)
standing/squatting on tippitoes on an upside down tin can (a personal favorite) (can use two smaller diameter cans one for each foot or one larger diameter can for both feet. or even better standing/squatting on toes on one can using only one foot, keeping the other foot up in the air)

3. other random things:
no eye contact (make it fun, for example: if the dom is wearing something a certain color sub must stare at the floor, another color, sub must stare at the ceiling)
command cards: dom will hold up a card with a command or better yet a symbol/color (sub is instructed to what the symbol/color represents) and sub will do that act. (can be something like beg, sit, roll over, etc.)
if sub is bad then sub must write a (very dirty and self humiliating) essay to master. sub is graded on spelling etc.

being that this is just a bunch of random stuff i came up with on the spot, i seriously think that your master/mentor could use a bit of creativity training.

(in reply to MasterGreg43)

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RE: Beginning Rules? Punishments? [Distance Involved] - 7/18/2010 1:14:27 PM

Redoubt

Posts: 185
Joined: 8/11/2007
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I think a number of posts summed up my feelings on this question.

But the point that was raised that needs stressing the most is you absolutely need to change your internal vocabulary. "mentor" needs to be replaced with "casual online play partner" . As with a couple of posters here, I don't see any harm in carefully exploring d/s online.

"Oh, you're new and curious? I can 'mentor' you" sends out all kinds of warning signals, so play safe.

As for the actual rules and regs side of things, either:

he sent you to find out things that excite you, and rather than read for inspiration you want it fed to you
he out of ideas and wants(needs) help, but doesn't know how to ask, or is too lazy to look for himself

he's clueless.

If that sounds overly harsh and judgmental, given that I don't know your specific situation, I apologize for having to add reality to a cosy fantasy.

(in reply to mastertizzi)

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RE: Beginning Rules? Punishments? [Distance Involved] - 7/25/2010 1:04:15 PM

Gaulthierdewin

Posts: 22
Joined: 11/8/2005
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While I was in graduate school, a long distance Master/slave relationship turned out to be a perfect situation for me, for the both of us. I, the Master, was in school in Los Angeles, while she, the slave, lived in northern California. I would fly her down to LA for long weekends and breaks between semesters. Having her come down on weekends and semester breaks was a perfect release both sexually and in terms of tension for both of us. Not having her around during the semester not only allowed me to devote myself to school and concentrate on my field of study but heightened the emotional and sexual intensity and energy when we were together. Not having me around allowed her to pursue her career in a very competitive field without distraction.

I would not recommend this for everyone. It worked for us because we were both very open and honest in terms of our needs and desires and what we were capable of providing each other at that time in our lives. I think we both got lucky in terms of both having a deep seated and complementary interest in BDSM and developing a Master/slave relationship. I know I lucked out in that she was very loving and caring, as well as, being very kinky.

What helped, actually what was crucial, was setting the tone for the rest of our interactions at our very first encounter. Of course, we discussed this beforehand over the phone and on-line.

There were two things which were instrumental; 1) a Contract or Indenture of Servitude and 2) rules. Although she did have a hand in creating both the Contract and the rules, she said at the first reading they sent shivers down her spine. She claimed it made the whole experience that much more real. I must admit I was pretty aroused myself.

For us, that was the point of creating both the Contract and the rule, and following through with the whole ritual and exercise of entering into such an arrangement. The Contract and rules of conduct were not to codify behavior or merely to set boundaries but to create a framework to explore our kinkier desires.

(in reply to FeistyRed)

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RE: Beginning Rules? Punishments? [Distance Involved] - 7/25/2010 5:29:28 PM

Gaulthierdewin

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Joined: 11/8/2005
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I am not quite sure why so many people are getting on your case for asking some simple, straight forward questions. Personally, I like rules imposed on a submissive/slave. It definitely can heighten the experience.

Most of my rules of conduct had to do with protocol and body position. Things which established a real mind set. Some of the rules fringed on humiliation and degradation--other went beyond. Of course, all of this could only exist in a safe, consensual environment. Another one of the many paradoxes of the lifestyle that drew me in in the first place.

If you are interested in specific rules of conduct we created feel free to send me a message directly. I am not interested is you or I being judged on the Message Boards for our interest.

(in reply to FeistyRed)

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RE: Beginning Rules? Punishments? [Distance Involved] - 7/25/2010 5:34:03 PM

Gaulthierdewin

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I really enjoyed your post

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