PrimalConsonance
Posts: 463
Joined: 7/11/2009
From: Southern New Jersey
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant
A very brief conversation left me pondering something and I am curious about how others, especially dominants, feel about it.
Touch is important to me. I think it is for most dominants as we watch and listen to how the submissive we are with responds to our touch during play. As dominants, we watch and listen to how our partner, romantic and/or otherwise, responds to our touch and we learn from that and hold on to it. We use that knowledge to repeat, or in some instances, withhold certain touches at certain times to enhance, prolong, challenge an experience for a submissive... to tease, please, frustrate, excite her.
But how about us? I've learned through the years that certain aspects of touch bothered me but I really did not coalesce them until I spent time conversing and exploring with a submissive last year about touch WHY certain touches bother me or make me happy or arouse me. And I learned it because it was important to her to learn how to touch me. Seems like a simple thing but in many ways it was not.
Example: I NEVER liked having fingers drawn quickly and lightly back and forth over my nipple or quick, light "airy-fairy" scratching anywhere on me. I knew I didn't like it but it was not until conversations with her and exploring with her that I discovered why...it makes me antsy. It makes me irritable. It makes me feel like the "bottom" partner. Slow stroking does just the opposite. Enlightenment.
What say the rest of you dominants? Is how you are touched important to you or is this just for the sensualists among us?
Submissives? Do you find it important to find out how each dominant likes being touched or do you assume that he experiences things the same way any other male does and you reserve that special exploration for a "special" dominant?
Touch is a very VERY important part of just about everything I do in and out of play. It is a form of communication that I not only give, but also respond to. When I sleep, I find that I naturally have to have some sort of touch throughout the night with my sub. I am known for reaching out and drawing her in close to me, if she happens to get up for some reason during the night (I'm not awake really when this occurs usually, or I'd remember it more clearly). I like physical affection, and grew up with touch in my life; so it's practically a part of my nature.
I'm a sensualist, and I look for touch as well. Being one of the senses, and the skin being the largest organ with all it's wonderful nerve-endings and complexities; touch is one the best forms of non-verbal communication, and sensations at even more complex levels. I caress and kiss as I give pain...I watch for the subtle changes when I play with my submissive that let me know where she's at physically and emotionally. And when I receive touches during that time (or anytime for that matter...apparently I'm always starved for some touch), it does some wonderful things to me. Sometimes I just want to caress, but end up accidentally getting a tickle-response from her making her flinch or jump (which at times is wonderful, but other times unwanted or not what I was looking for), so I at times need to be more careful where I put these big "butcher's hands" at on her. But all-in-all, I vote "YES" on touch! Very important and always welcome.
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AKA: CNJDom (types in black) and roselaure (types in Red)
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
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RE: The Importance of Touch - 
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