RE: Begging~

RE: Begging~ (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive

Message

sexyred1 -> RE: Begging~ (6/25/2010 7:43:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cassandria I assume that most dominant men would desire that begging be done from a point of authenticity, where the slave/submissive has been reduced to such a need that she's babbling/begging and humbling herself in that way... Because that takes Mastery. (is that a word? if not, I like it anyways.) This is the only kind of begging that I can understand. Everything else is role playing, at least for me.

RealSub58 -> RE: Begging~ (6/25/2010 8:11:17 PM)
There was another thread not too long ago on begging and it made me think of us and I asked questions and journaled about things. He told me I should stop thinking (tells me I "think too much") because I had no problems. Personally I believe it is a natural thing for me to beg to serve him while other submissives must learn how. I am serving him, doing his will in begging. I do not prepare in advance, it comes to me as the day progresses with him. I did not learn this, it comes from my spirit. At times he does want me to use other words, than what he just heard. So I put my head down, close my eyes and find it somehow, lift my head and words come out and he smiles. Maybe you think too much? :)

SirsJewel -> RE: Begging~ (6/25/2010 8:18:40 PM)
He tells me i overthink all the time ~ jewels

RealSub58 -> RE: Begging~ (6/25/2010 8:26:51 PM)
quote: i think my pride gets in the way a tad as well, be well ~ jewels This part I do not understand Jewels. Begging for me is like being on my knees and empty, only to please, looking up at him and begging. Like an empty vessel that he will fill if only I ask for what I want. I am taking my mom on a cruise in July and altho we live relatively close, it is looking bleak that I will see him before we go. Every day I beg on the phone. It's like leaving hints on sticky notes, without whining. Or I will find something to send to him via email, to remind him, "I really want to see you." I find some great flair buttons on Facebook that I cut and paste into email and send it off. He likes the reminder that he is in my mind ~~ but this time I think it is ultimately up to timing ~ we both know it. When we first started, I had collected some pics depicting control over a woman and I would send him one . . . just the pic. When on the phone with him, I'd tell him what the pic was all about and beg for it, if it pleased him. His pleasure it what it is all about with me. Just humbly kneeling before him physically, mentally and emotionally.

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Begging~ (6/25/2010 8:39:10 PM)
I've never been able to do the begging thing. If someone says no, I figure they mean no, and I take them at their word. I might ask them if they've changed their mind, or if they'll at least consider it, but that's about it. I know some do require begging, and I know its hot for those involved but I still can't seem to muster it up within me. It feels disingenuous when I try, and so I don't anymore. I had the same problem with a guy I dated wanting me to talk dirty to him. I gave it my best, then just fell into whispering sweet nothings to him about how his vents needed dusting. We aren't dating any more [:(]

Kana -> RE: Begging~ (6/25/2010 11:21:40 PM)
Are ya kidding... I can make almost anyone beg. It has far less to do with anything B/D oriented, and has everything to do with M/S and especially D/S. Everyone has tripwires and trigger's. The key is uncovering those salient points of weakness within, and then learning how to play them. Now that's an understatement of monumental immensity in that while I make the concept sound pretty basic, it takes an artist to learn how to strum those chords.

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Begging~ (6/25/2010 11:25:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kana Are ya kidding... I can make almost anyone beg. It has far less to do with anything B/D oriented, and has everything to do with M/S and especially D/S. Everyone has tripwires and trigger's. The key is uncovering those salient points of weakness within, and then learning how to play them. Now that's an understatement of monumental immensity in that while I make the concept sound pretty basic, it takes an artist to learn how to strum those chords. Hmm, so basically those I tried to beg to were inept? I kinda like that theory, better than my own, which is basically that I simply suck at it.[:D]

Kana -> RE: Begging~ (6/25/2010 11:43:32 PM)
I'm not gonna go that far-That's waaaay too sweeping an indictment of a group of strangers for me to even step in that direction. It's just that I've met women, more than a few, who claimed to have trouble begging. But it's my experience that they can be taught, and it's not really that difficult. But, salient point mentioned above, it comes from trust, and need, and desire, and openness. So my comment would be better construed as saying perhaps some dominants are better than others at the emotive and mental sides of TTTWD and thus, they are capable of creating situations where she can reach her true grovelling potential. I'd love to give a step by step example, and I can of how to teach her to beg once that trust is established, but for the life of me I can't walk someone through the teaching her to trust me process. That's something that happens organically.

laurell3 -> RE: Begging~ (6/25/2010 11:52:19 PM)
I think that's a very good point Kana, where the difficulty lies with shame or embarassment, that really comes from a negative viewpoint on how others see you. Once you get past that viewpoint with trust, many things that were difficult or even seemed foolish become much easier, but not all. For example, I will never be able to refer to someone as "SuperMasterOwnerDom" without feeling foolish. It just ain't gonna happen. [;)] I think pride is a totally different animal than that though personally.

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Begging~ (6/26/2010 12:09:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kana But, salient point mentioned above, it comes from trust, and need, and desire, and openness. I've always had a very hard time asking for things, and in fact preferred to go without, if I couldn't do it/get it on my own, rather than ask for something. I do agree, it boils down to need, trust and desire especially. There were plenty of let downs along the road that formed this independant nature of mine. However, regarding begging, this has always felt disingenuous to me. Things that are disingenuous simply do not sit well with me. Whenever someone has told me, if you want it, beg for it - and pretty please didn't do the trick - I've always preferred that they simply keep it. Which obviously boils down to desire. I've never desired anything badly enough to beg for it. Unless you count the screams of oh god yes, dont stop, please don't stop....... Edited to add one thing: I did beg for a collar. That wasn't literal begging, though, but rather ritualistic.

Kana -> RE: Begging~ (6/26/2010 12:18:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance quote: ORIGINAL: Kana But, salient point mentioned above, it comes from trust, and need, and desire, and openness. I've always had a very hard time asking for things, and in fact preferred to go without, if I couldn't do it/get it on my own, rather than ask for something. I do agree, it boils down to need, trust and desire especially. There were plenty of let downs along the road that formed this independant nature of mine. However, regarding begging, this has always felt disingenuous to me. Things that are disingenuous simply do not sit well with me. Whenever someone has told me, if you want it, beg for it - and pretty please didn't do the trick - I've always preferred that they simply keep it. Which obviously boils down to desire. I've never desired anything badly enough to beg for it. Unless you count the screams of oh god yes, dont stop, please don't stop....... That's the saddest thing I've read all day.

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Begging~ (6/26/2010 12:22:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kana quote: ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance quote: ORIGINAL: Kana But, salient point mentioned above, it comes from trust, and need, and desire, and openness. I've always had a very hard time asking for things, and in fact preferred to go without, if I couldn't do it/get it on my own, rather than ask for something. I do agree, it boils down to need, trust and desire especially. There were plenty of let downs along the road that formed this independant nature of mine. However, regarding begging, this has always felt disingenuous to me. Things that are disingenuous simply do not sit well with me. Whenever someone has told me, if you want it, beg for it - and pretty please didn't do the trick - I've always preferred that they simply keep it. Which obviously boils down to desire. I've never desired anything badly enough to beg for it. Unless you count the screams of oh god yes, dont stop, please don't stop....... That's the saddest thing I've read all day. Aww that's not sad! I'm not dead YET!

Nineveh -> RE: Begging~ (6/26/2010 12:52:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 I think that's a very good point Kana, where the difficulty lies with shame or embarassment, that really comes from a negative viewpoint on how others see you. Once you get past that viewpoint with trust, many things that were difficult or even seemed foolish become much easier, but not all. For example, I will never be able to refer to someone as "SuperMasterOwnerDom" without feeling foolish. It just ain't gonna happen. [;)] I think pride is a totally different animal than that though personally. I can't imagine asking someone to call me "Super Master Owner Dom" unless i wanted her to feel foolish. The challenge of doing it with a straight face, knowing there is dire punishment if you don't. can be fun though. usually I go with "grand high poobah"

BentUnit -> RE: Begging~ (6/26/2010 12:58:36 AM)
My ex master use to withhold all contact from me for days at a time simply because he enjoyed breaking me down to sheer abject broken sobbing and begging. He knew I would be utterly frantic for his approval and so grateful for his acknowledgment. Begging was something that came from utter terror and desolation and it doesn't leave you with any pride and nowhere to hide.

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Begging~ (6/26/2010 1:01:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BentUnit My ex master use to withhold all contact from me for days at a time simply because he enjoyed breaking me down to sheer abject broken sobbing and begging. He knew I would be utterly frantic for his approval and so grateful for his acknowledgment. Begging was something that came from utter terror and desolation and it doesn't leave you with any pride and nowhere to hide. Is this why he is your ex?

BentUnit -> RE: Begging~ (6/26/2010 1:07:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance quote: ORIGINAL: BentUnit My ex master use to withhold all contact from me for days at a time simply because he enjoyed breaking me down to sheer abject broken sobbing and begging. He knew I would be utterly frantic for his approval and so grateful for his acknowledgment. Begging was something that came from utter terror and desolation and it doesn't leave you with any pride and nowhere to hide. Is this why he is your ex? You have C-mail.

Nineveh -> RE: Begging~ (6/26/2010 1:10:06 AM)
Aww, I was hoping to hear the juicy details. (not that I can blame you for keeping it private mind, it looks like private sort of stuff)

BentUnit -> RE: Begging~ (6/26/2010 1:27:48 AM)
What I'm saying is that when you place yourself in the hands of a vastly intelligent physical and emotional Sadist and he taps into your fears there is no room in your life for half arsed begging because the type of stresses he can bring to bear and his very nature absolutely requires nothing less.

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Begging~ (6/26/2010 1:38:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BentUnit What I'm saying is that when you place yourself in the hands of a vastly intelligent physical and emotional Sadist and he taps into your fears there is no room in your life for half arsed begging because the type of stresses he can bring to bear and his very nature absolutely requires nothing less. I get that, I really do. For me, my experience that was similar came from a bad place. I have no desire to ever return there. I adore a creative sadist, but only in the realm of the physical.

BentUnit -> RE: Begging~ (6/26/2010 1:49:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance quote: ORIGINAL: BentUnit What I'm saying is that when you place yourself in the hands of a vastly intelligent physical and emotional Sadist and he taps into your fears there is no room in your life for half arsed begging because the type of stresses he can bring to bear and his very nature absolutely requires nothing less. I get that, I really do. For me, my experience that was similar came from a bad place. I have no desire to ever return there. I adore a creative sadist, but only in the realm of the physical. Me too. I would have preferred to be worked over physically than go through one of his Master Mind Fucks. And I mean that with all sincerity. His mind fucks left me feeling so vulnerable and unsure of my allure and desirability. Being worked over physically would have ended much, much sooner.

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125