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RE: Begging~ - 6/25/2010 7:43:28 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cassandria

I assume that most dominant men would desire that begging be done from a point of authenticity, where the slave/submissive has been reduced to such a need that she's babbling/begging and humbling herself in that way...

Because that takes Mastery.

(is that a word? if not, I like it anyways.)


This is the only kind of begging that I can understand. Everything else is role playing, at least for me.

(in reply to cassandria)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Begging~ - 6/25/2010 8:11:17 PM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline 		There was another thread not too long ago on begging and it made me think of us and I asked questions and journaled about things.

He told me I should stop thinking (tells me I "think too much") because I had no problems.

Personally I believe it is a natural thing for me to beg to serve him while other submissives must learn how. 

I am serving him, doing his will in begging.  I do not prepare in advance, it comes to me as the day progresses with him. I did not learn this, it comes from my spirit. 

At times he does want me to use other words, than what he just heard.  So I put my head down, close my eyes and find it somehow, lift my head and words come out and he smiles.

Maybe you think too much?  :)

(in reply to SirsJewel)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Begging~ - 6/25/2010 8:18:40 PM   
SirsJewel


Posts: 696
Joined: 3/23/2010
Status: offline 		He tells me i overthink all the time ~ jewels

_____________________________

God grant me the serenity to accept people for who they are and not whom i wish they could be ~ jewels

(in reply to RealSub58)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Begging~ - 6/25/2010 8:26:51 PM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline
quote:

i think my pride gets in the way a tad as well, be well ~ jewels


This part I do not understand Jewels.

Begging for me is like being on my knees and empty, only to please, looking up at him and begging.  Like an empty vessel that he will fill if only I ask for what I want.

I am taking my mom on a cruise in July and altho we live relatively close, it is looking bleak that I will see him before we go.  Every day I beg on the phone.
It's like leaving hints on sticky notes, without whining.  Or I will find something to send to him via email, to remind him, "I really want to see you."
I find some great flair buttons on Facebook that I cut and paste into email and send it off.  He likes the reminder that he is in my mind ~~ but this time I think it is ultimately up to timing  ~ we both know it.

When we first started, I had collected some pics depicting control over a woman and I would send him one . . .  just the pic.  When on the phone with him, I'd tell him what the pic was all about and beg for it, if it pleased him.

His pleasure it what it is all about with me.  Just humbly kneeling before him physically, mentally and emotionally.

(in reply to SirsJewel)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Begging~ - 6/25/2010 8:39:10 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		I've never been able to do the begging thing.  If someone says no, I figure they mean no, and I take them at their word.  I might ask them if they've changed their mind, or if they'll at least consider it, but that's about it.

I know some do require begging, and I know its hot for those involved but I still can't seem to muster it up within me.  It feels disingenuous when I try, and so I don't anymore. 

I had the same problem with a guy I dated wanting me to talk dirty to him.  I gave it my best, then just fell into whispering sweet nothings to him about  how his vents needed dusting.  We aren't dating any more

(in reply to RealSub58)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Begging~ - 6/25/2010 11:21:40 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Are ya kidding... I can make almost anyone beg. It has far less to do with anything B/D oriented, and has everything to do with M/S and especially D/S. Everyone has tripwires and trigger's. The key is uncovering those salient points of weakness within, and then learning how to play them. Now that's an understatement of monumental immensity in that while I make the concept sound pretty basic, it takes an artist to learn how to strum those chords.




_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Begging~ - 6/25/2010 11:25:07 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Are ya kidding... I can make almost anyone beg. It has far less to do with anything B/D oriented, and has everything to do with M/S and especially D/S. Everyone has tripwires and trigger's. The key is uncovering those salient points of weakness within, and then learning how to play them. Now that's an understatement of monumental immensity in that while I make the concept sound pretty basic, it takes an artist to learn how to strum those chords.


Hmm, so basically those I tried to beg to were inept?  I kinda like that theory, better than my own, which is basically that I simply suck at it.

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Begging~ - 6/25/2010 11:43:32 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		I'm not gonna go that far-That's waaaay too sweeping an indictment of a group of strangers for me to even step in that direction.

It's just that I've met women, more than a few, who claimed to have trouble begging. But it's my experience that they can be taught, and it's not really that difficult. But, salient point mentioned above, it comes from trust, and need, and desire, and openness.
So my comment would be better construed as saying perhaps some dominants are better than others at the emotive and mental sides of TTTWD and thus, they are capable of creating situations where she can reach her true grovelling potential.
I'd love to give a step by step example, and I can of how to teach her to beg once that trust is established, but for the life of me I can't walk someone through the teaching her to trust me process. That's something that happens organically.


_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Begging~ - 6/25/2010 11:52:19 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		I think that's a very good point Kana, where the difficulty lies with shame or embarassment, that really comes from a negative viewpoint on how others see you. Once you get past that viewpoint with trust, many things that were difficult or even seemed foolish become much easier, but not all. For example, I will never be able to refer to someone as "SuperMasterOwnerDom" without feeling foolish. It just ain't gonna happen.

I think pride is a totally different animal than that though personally.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Begging~ - 6/26/2010 12:09:26 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

But, salient point mentioned above, it comes from trust, and need, and desire, and openness.


I've always had a very hard time asking for things, and in fact preferred to go without, if I couldn't do it/get it on my own, rather than ask for something.  I do agree, it boils down to need, trust and desire especially.  There were plenty of let downs along the road that formed this independant nature of mine.

However, regarding begging, this has always felt disingenuous to me.  Things that are disingenuous simply do not sit well with me.   Whenever someone has told me, if you want it, beg for it - and pretty please didn't do the trick - I've always preferred that they simply keep it.  Which obviously boils down to desire.  I've never desired anything badly enough to beg for it.  Unless you count the screams of oh god yes, dont stop, please don't stop.......

Edited to add one thing:  I did beg for a collar.  That wasn't literal begging, though, but rather ritualistic.

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 6/26/2010 12:18:57 AM >

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Begging~ - 6/26/2010 12:18:35 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

But, salient point mentioned above, it comes from trust, and need, and desire, and openness.


I've always had a very hard time asking for things, and in fact preferred to go without, if I couldn't do it/get it on my own, rather than ask for something.  I do agree, it boils down to need, trust and desire especially.  There were plenty of let downs along the road that formed this independant nature of mine.

However, regarding begging, this has always felt disingenuous to me.  Things that are disingenuous simply do not sit well with me.   Whenever someone has told me, if you want it, beg for it - and pretty please didn't do the trick - I've always preferred that they simply keep it.  Which obviously boils down to desire.  I've never desired anything badly enough to beg for it.  Unless you count the screams of oh god yes, dont stop, please don't stop.......


That's the saddest thing I've read all day.




_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Begging~ - 6/26/2010 12:22:29 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

But, salient point mentioned above, it comes from trust, and need, and desire, and openness.


I've always had a very hard time asking for things, and in fact preferred to go without, if I couldn't do it/get it on my own, rather than ask for something.  I do agree, it boils down to need, trust and desire especially.  There were plenty of let downs along the road that formed this independant nature of mine.

However, regarding begging, this has always felt disingenuous to me.  Things that are disingenuous simply do not sit well with me.   Whenever someone has told me, if you want it, beg for it - and pretty please didn't do the trick - I've always preferred that they simply keep it.  Which obviously boils down to desire.  I've never desired anything badly enough to beg for it.  Unless you count the screams of oh god yes, dont stop, please don't stop.......


That's the saddest thing I've read all day.


Aww that's not sad!  I'm not dead YET! 

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Begging~ - 6/26/2010 12:52:46 AM   
Nineveh


Posts: 1299
Joined: 2/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

I think that's a very good point Kana, where the difficulty lies with shame or embarassment, that really comes from a negative viewpoint on how others see you. Once you get past that viewpoint with trust, many things that were difficult or even seemed foolish become much easier, but not all. For example, I will never be able to refer to someone as "SuperMasterOwnerDom" without feeling foolish. It just ain't gonna happen.

I think pride is a totally different animal than that though personally.


I can't imagine asking someone to call me "Super Master Owner Dom" unless i wanted her to feel foolish. The challenge of doing it with a straight face, knowing there is dire punishment if you don't. can be fun though.  usually I go with "grand high poobah"

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Begging~ - 6/26/2010 12:58:36 AM   
BentUnit


Posts: 897
Status: offline 		My ex master use to withhold all contact from me for days at a time simply because he enjoyed breaking me down to sheer abject broken sobbing and begging.
He knew I would be utterly frantic for his approval and so grateful for his acknowledgment.
Begging was something that came from utter terror and desolation and it doesn't leave you with any pride and nowhere to hide.

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Begging~ - 6/26/2010 1:01:32 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BentUnit

My ex master use to withhold all contact from me for days at a time simply because he enjoyed breaking me down to sheer abject broken sobbing and begging.
He knew I would be utterly frantic for his approval and so grateful for his acknowledgment.
Begging was something that came from utter terror and desolation and it doesn't leave you with any pride and nowhere to hide.



Is this why he is your ex? 

(in reply to BentUnit)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Begging~ - 6/26/2010 1:07:34 AM   
BentUnit


Posts: 897
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

quote:

ORIGINAL: BentUnit

My ex master use to withhold all contact from me for days at a time simply because he enjoyed breaking me down to sheer abject broken sobbing and begging.
He knew I would be utterly frantic for his approval and so grateful for his acknowledgment.
Begging was something that came from utter terror and desolation and it doesn't leave you with any pride and nowhere to hide.



Is this why he is your ex? 


You have C-mail.


(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Begging~ - 6/26/2010 1:10:06 AM   
Nineveh


Posts: 1299
Joined: 2/5/2008
Status: offline 		Aww, I was hoping to hear the juicy details.

(not that I can blame you for keeping it private mind, it looks like private sort of stuff)

(in reply to BentUnit)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Begging~ - 6/26/2010 1:27:48 AM   
BentUnit


Posts: 897
Status: offline 		What I'm saying is that when you place yourself in the hands of a vastly intelligent physical and emotional Sadist and he taps into your fears there is no room in your life for half arsed begging because the type of stresses he can bring to bear and his very nature absolutely requires nothing less.

(in reply to Nineveh)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Begging~ - 6/26/2010 1:38:19 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BentUnit

What I'm saying is that when you place yourself in the hands of a vastly intelligent physical and emotional Sadist and he taps into your fears there is no room in your life for half arsed begging because the type of stresses he can bring to bear and his very nature absolutely requires nothing less.


I get that, I really do.  For me, my experience that was similar came from a bad place.  I have no desire to ever return there.  I adore a creative sadist, but only in the realm of the physical. 

(in reply to BentUnit)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Begging~ - 6/26/2010 1:49:10 AM   
BentUnit


Posts: 897
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

quote:

ORIGINAL: BentUnit

What I'm saying is that when you place yourself in the hands of a vastly intelligent physical and emotional Sadist and he taps into your fears there is no room in your life for half arsed begging because the type of stresses he can bring to bear and his very nature absolutely requires nothing less.


I get that, I really do.  For me, my experience that was similar came from a bad place.  I have no desire to ever return there.  I adore a creative sadist, but only in the realm of the physical. 


Me too.
I would have preferred to be worked over physically than go through one of his Master Mind Fucks.
And I mean that with all sincerity.
His mind fucks left me feeling so vulnerable and unsure of my allure and desirability.
Being worked over physically would have ended much, much sooner.

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 40
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