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Wearing a collar and playmates: - 6/25/2010 2:49:44 PM   
johnswoodshed


Posts: 8
Joined: 5/8/2010
From: Tacoma, Washington
Status: offline
I remember a time when being ask to wear a collar included ritual, and had substance that I don’t see a lot of anymore. I remember when young men and women (in the Seattle/Puget Sound region) who needed something different went to “after hour Lesbian clubs” and worked to get pick by an older Domme to train you to become sub and Dom and Domme. Where you worked at an apprenticeship of sorts before you could play with you first sub/slave. A place where you could make mistakes and be taught the correct way.
It was also a way of life that made you sub for a bit before you were turned loose on someone else, so you would know just what you are asking of someone. I still remember (45+ years later) a whip cracked across the ass for making a big mistake. I remember hating every minuet of some telling me what to do, I still do; though those 6 years in the Navy at war from a hello did mellow some of that. But I also remember how proud I felt when that old Domme said that I could “go forth and Sin all I wanted”.
That was in the very early in the 60’s and I had just got out of high school. There were No BDSM clubs, No BDSM, No munches, No bulletin boards with dial up service and No internet with web sites where anyone with a connection could declare themselves to Dom or sub and definitely no one could use the term Master. Master was something the community declared a person to be, it was very special and only good at that community. It was a title that was bestowed on a person but that person could never use it, the would have been presumptuous.
So now there are no real people/sub’s/ Dom’s/Domme’s any more if you read some of the profiles here on CollarMe and other sites. Is it that most don’t know what real is? Could it be that those same advertisers have never been with what a real ****** is. And could it also be that very few left around have any idea what it means to train someone else. Telling someone what to do and then punishing them is not training. It’s bullying.
So I’m 62 year old/young and stopped training sub’s/slaves about 12 years ago. Over the years I have had several of each. In the past all went on to a permanent owners or marriage with children, not for me. A year ago a lady (Kathy) in her early 40’s came to me with her life in chaos asking for help, and after talking to her for several day’s I agreed; under my terms. Now a year later she is still wearing my training collar and living with me 24/7 in a full time D/s relationship. She has in the past had limited experience with another women, she wishes to continue this exploration. I fully encourage her in this pursuit; keeping in mind this is a D/s’s household. I also know that we My self and Kathy are not perfect for anyone, neither are you perfect for us but time seems to have a way of taking off the ruff edges for all and for making a good match. Not all D/s’s relationships have sex as the central issue, while a person can be trained for great sex and it’s release, it still isn’t all there is, training, service, discipline, security, education, and evolving into the person you want to be are just as important.
SO my question is how much more real do some of you need with all of your canned reply’s and e-mails.
Thanks to all who took the time to read this.
JohnP
I don’t type, so please give me some leeway, I did spell check.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Wearing a collar and playmates: - 6/25/2010 2:57:59 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
The people who participate on the forums are almost definitely not the ones who are sending you spam/crap mail on the collarme side.

You should join the forums. You'll meet some awesome people. (well...at least some interesting ones!) ; )

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to johnswoodshed)
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RE: Wearing a collar and playmates: - 6/25/2010 3:00:14 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
Well, at least some people...........

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RE: Wearing a collar and playmates: - 6/25/2010 3:11:10 PM   
SirsJewel


Posts: 696
Joined: 3/23/2010
Status: offline
Very imformative Post Sir. i use the forums here to learn,but alot has to weeded through when I speak to Master(my owner),who by the way is not keen on referring to Himself as Master. To Him it is showy,and pompus,He much prefers teacher/mentor. i do agree the longer i am His,the longer i see a distance to my full knowledge of this lifestyle. It is painstakingly slow growth in many ways,and i will never know when i am done so to speak. Real is how much imput people chose to invest on others IMHO,but there is a great devide online,hiding behind a screen that devalues many things. My thought is i am not here to devalue others,but to find the value in this setting,given it's a tool nothing more. If W/we meet a few special folks along the path thats the reward ~ jewels

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God grant me the serenity to accept people for who they are and not whom i wish they could be ~ jewels

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RE: Wearing a collar and playmates: - 6/25/2010 3:31:07 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
You're preaching to the choir. We have the same frustrations about "the other side" (ie where your mail is). Unfortunately the reason you get those canned responses is probably due to the number of trolls that hit our mailboxes daily.

Welcome to the forums.


Just fyi, paragraphs are your friend. Reading a wall of text without them is difficult.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to johnswoodshed)
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RE: Wearing a collar and playmates: - 6/25/2010 4:50:21 PM   
johnswoodshed


Posts: 8
Joined: 5/8/2010
From: Tacoma, Washington
Status: offline
laurell3
The post was written with paragraphs and some other notation, but they didn't survive the "ok" button. The post was composed in word (it took a couple of hours to compose) and copied over into this form.

(in reply to laurell3)
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RE: Wearing a collar and playmates: - 6/25/2010 5:19:33 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
Ah yes. I've done the same thing in Word.

It's best just to do it here, as it seems to translate from composed to seen.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to johnswoodshed)
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RE: Wearing a collar and playmates: - 6/25/2010 5:21:23 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
You were indeed fortunate 45 years ago to find the kink community.  Most never did and wondered all their lives why they seemed different, why they didn't want the same things their friends seemed to be happy with. 

I wouldn't have found all this without the internet.  It was a surprise and a relief to find out there were others with similar wants, desires, and feelings. 

Being the internet others found places like Collarme too.  They look at the internet as a way of making a quit buck.  This just means you have to be careful.  Let's face it, scams are not new.  Years ago the scams advertised in magazines for addressing envelopes at home for big money.  Then there were phone scams where they tried to get you to give out your credit card numbers or bank account numbers so they could rip you off. 

Just because this place is called Collarme you can't assume that everyone here is truthful and honest.  However, do not blame the internet for making BDSM less real.  Through the years I've found many real and great people on the internet that I would never have been able to meet without it.  So, I love the internet and what it did to get me involved with others like me.  Yes, I love my email too.  It keeps me in touch with family and friends who are too far away to see very often.  This includes both vanilla and kink friends. 



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RE: Wearing a collar and playmates: - 6/25/2010 6:29:13 PM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline
welcome tto the forums.  Your profile says you have been living a b/d lifestyle for 50 years yet you are 62..... they must start young over there?

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Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to johnswoodshed)
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RE: Wearing a collar and playmates: - 6/25/2010 7:51:48 PM   
johnswoodshed


Posts: 8
Joined: 5/8/2010
From: Tacoma, Washington
Status: offline
Young, maybe; I spank my first girl at about 12 or 13 on the beach and have had a kink for it ever sense. All through the high scool years spanking and such were apart of my dating history. Didn't start to understand what was going on untill I started going to after hour clubs.

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RE: Wearing a collar and playmates: - 6/26/2010 12:00:04 AM   
johnswoodshed


Posts: 8
Joined: 5/8/2010
From: Tacoma, Washington
Status: offline
peppermint; I didn't intend to blame the internet for all of the troubles of the world or this subset of it. I was trying to express the thought that, human nature being what it is, that right now it's to easy for people to make claims that are without any foundation; sub, Dom ....And yes people scamming for what ever will be with us for ever.
Thank you for your reply.

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RE: Wearing a collar and playmates: - 6/26/2010 3:51:25 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

So now there are no real people/sub’s/ Dom’s/Domme’s any more if you read some of the profiles here on CollarMe and other sites.
nope. none. 

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