Aneirin
Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline
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Ooo, that's nice what you have said, but to answer what you have asked, I find I have no problem with communication in the written form, like here for example and I will even go as far as to say since I have had access to the internet and forums, these past five years, I have used forums to improve my communication, and understand that I can communicate with others at least in this form.
You may have noticed from time to time I use some of the more picturesque words in what I write, I have explored this via an expert in the field and the conclusion is I know these words, I have picked them up somewhere at some time and stored them away and they only come out when I write. It is very much a case of when writing the word will come to the front of my mind and I will think, oo, that fits, but hang on, wtf is it's meaning and so off I go seeking it's meaning on the various online dictionaries only to find the word I am intending to use does indeed fit with what I am saying.
But of written communication, I do struggle with the day to day paperwork that plops into my mail box, I struggle in understanding what is written as once I have deciphered the legalise jargon and sort of got the gist of what is being said, I start picking at the grammar and here often the problem is I am noticing the correct use of grammar is a dying art as with the punctuation inserted, what I have just deciphered often makes little sense to me. I am thinking perhaps the use of the English language in the written form is suffering in these days of internet communication as it seems not many bother with the correct use of language, or is it, it has not been taught properly. The same is with spelling, I notice a wrong spelling and to me what I have just read basically turns to shit. But I have noticed and my college tutors have noticed to their sometimes annoyance I can instantly pick out a wrong spelling in a text, it is like it jumps out at me as I scan over the writing. But I now am coming to the understanding how something is spelled, might well have something to do with which spell checker the person used on their word processor, as there is a difference between American-English and English-English.
Now verbal communication, I find if a person knows me well, I can communicate reasonably well with them, but perhaps it is that they have become used to me and the way I speak ,( haha, and think ), but people not known to me I have found I lose in conversation, or they lose me, the reason for this is I think slowly, I ponder words and how they are said and damn it, if a person has an accent I get lost in the poetry of the speech, it becames an art, not a method of communication. I start what I am seemingly good at, analysing.
But of day to day speech I find I take the literal interpretation of what is being said, or written, I fail in understanding the written between the lines type of communication and often when it has been indicated to me that this speech is in use, I get annoyed and say to the person then why not say what you mean, if it ,means being blunt and to the point, be blunt as I will know where I stand then.
Ok, the unsaid communication that goes on within face to face verbal communication, that stuff with the eyes and and facial expression is a complete puzzle to me, here I am lost, unless like I have mentioned before I know a person well or they know me, for they then articulate in another way I can understand. Often it is when out with my friends it is indicated to me that such and such female is coming on to me, my answer is, who, what were, for I have not noticed.( I tend to notice how many of a certain hair colour are present and of them what type of body shapes).
My ex wife, the one who was the second person to suggest to me I was perhaps aspergic based upon others she had known in the past used to get pretty damned pissed at me for flirting with other women, except it was not flirting to me, I was simply engaged in good conversation as far as I was aware, as obviously I was missing other stuff that was going on that others noticed. My defence was I am not flirting, I am just boring someone shitless with the inane crap my ex had no time for, someone was listening to me and responding to the conversation and to me that was good, as I missed in depth conversation with whom I was married to and many of those I worked with.
(As chance would have it, even this past Thursday evening I was told by my college friends the woman I was having an in depth conversation with was not a woman, for they were a known and obvious transvestite and why could I not see this, I just said beer goggles I suppose, but if the person was a transvestite, it was a very good one and of course there was the conversation I seem to seek.)
Eye to eye communication I am uncomfortable with, why, well I find that overpowering and I do not meet eyes with many I don't know, or sometimes it is reported when I do meet eyes, it is unnerving to the person, as I appear to be seeing straight through them, as if my eyes were focused on the back of their head and I was staring through the person before me. That stare has been called offensive before, so in response I do the opposite as I seem to live in a world of varying contrasts, a black and white world which changes with time. A case of if something is not black, it is white nothing in between, but even that changes so it can I suppose come across as I have no firm or fixed views on anything, which is true to an extent as I believe what we know changes with time and there education.
Oh, and on forums I edit a lot, not because I have read ahead in a thread and see something that I have written might be considered unwise like I suspect with some, but because when reading through what I have written I notice a typo, it drives me nuts, and I must correct the error. I take care with spelling, but when I am tired or pissed, I tend to let that go as I seem not to be bothered.
And there is revealed a liking for alcohol, for it with me stops me analysing and gives mde a break away from myself, where often the id comes out to play, I can I am told be a hand full and a complete pain in the ass as there are no boundaries to me then, perhaps I can be the true self away from the front we put up to survive in society. To me being drunk is in a way liberating.
< Message edited by Aneirin -- 6/27/2010 12:47:04 AM >
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Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha
Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone
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Autism - 
Profile
). 
and I work with 50+ different people with autism 
and yes...some of them can throw major temper tantrums if you don't stick to their routine...
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