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RE: Protection - 6/28/2010 3:44:50 PM

sunshinemiss

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Fast reply-

I think subs have this trait more than doms, and more viciously.

Mother bears are vicious... true. And I wish women could turn that viciousness into self protection... which the female of our species are not socialized to do....protect others, yes, but ourselves, not so much...

And I know sub men are as protective as anyone else

That's true. When we would teach self-defense, there was always at least one woman who just *wouldn't* fight. She just couldn't somehow, but then we'd go up and say something like (TOS Violation), and she'd just ... it was like a light switch. "Oh no, not MY baby!" And then she'd be the most ferocious one.

It was actually quite inspirational. We'd then talk after about that and remind her (and the rest of the women)... "You are someone's baby who deserves protecting, too." Powerful experience.

Best,
sunshine

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Post #: 61

RE: Protection - 6/28/2010 3:47:04 PM

sunshinemiss

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I tend to think it's almost an automatic conclusion that the majority of parents are protective of their off-spring. Then again, this is because I have this particular trait, so My first assumption is that it's normal.

Sadly, Lady Pact, it's not as normal as one would wish.
best,
sunshine

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Post #: 62

RE: Protection - 6/28/2010 3:54:09 PM

kiwisub12

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I am about the least aggressive person i know in serious situations - but when my sir was dying, i was up there, bugging the doctors and harassing the help. Anything for my Sir................

Protective - oh yeah - dominant - oh hell no!

and i want to see the domiguyjeffffff siamese twin thing! Enquiring minds want to see the photographic evidence!

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Post #: 63

RE: Protection - 6/28/2010 4:21:49 PM

pyroaquatic

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From: Pyroaquatica
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Establishing dominance and reinforcing roles can push you one way,
but love will push you another. You have a heart that is still beating (or beating still) and you cherish the ability to do evil fun things again. When harm comes into play (or some other trigger) I could see that switch.

Either role is protective and it is nice to have compassion after pain.
I am very protective in multiple ways. I spot hazards and I take them away. I make sure people are taken care of.

It would be nice to have some protection from my self.

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You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

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Post #: 64

RE: Protection - 7/1/2010 9:16:08 AM

KariCloud

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I never saw a conflict between my being submissive and my tendency to be the one who protects others from physical threats. It is like any other skill I have: available for the benefit of those around me. It is not, however, one of the skills I tell people. I'd much rather not talk about why I am so sure about myself, it isn't a pleasant set of memories. If the need for protection arises, they'll see first-hand. Most threats, though, are fairly easily avoided without anyone else even knowing there might have been a threat.

Being dominant does not mean one is not vulnerable in physical confrontations, or any other dangerous situation. Being dominant does not mean that one knows what kinds of threats one is capable of defending against. It takes actually experiencing different types of threats to know that. Even being a sadist does not guarantee that a person is capable in a confrontation. It takes a completely different skill to hurt someone who is attacking you than it does to hurt a willing partner. All those fancy self-defense classes that so many people take don't do much good at all unless you've had such experiences and know how you react and know how far you'll go. Violent criminals aren't all stupid, the smart ones will very quickly see if you're willing to kill them to protect your loved ones or not. Anything less than that, and the violent criminals have the upper hand and *know* it. I wouldn't care to risk my safety, and more importantly the safety of my beloved dominant partner, on their potential ability to protect us when mine is already proven capable. To do so would not be good service to them at all and would not be good for my own survival.

Thankfully, it isn't a skill that gets used very often. :)

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Post #: 65

RE: Protection - 7/1/2010 9:28:58 AM

SimplyMichael

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On of my early lessons in bdsm was at one of my first parties I hosted. A dom walked in with a very hot woman in tow. She was very quite and withdrawn but he was quite gregarious and kept her at his side, clearly providing her a bit of social "protection" and not requiring her to be social as well.

Later that evening, as I was wandering out checking on things I heard them playing in a side room and I walked in to see their scene. Tied to the cross, wearing panties that said "HER little slut" was the "dom" I had seen earlier. Turns out she is shy and withdrawn and he plays front man. I realized later he never said he was her dom, I simply had made an assumption based on behavior.

"Protection" comes in many forms and doesn't just go from Dom/Domme to sub/slave but protecting one's partner is a far cry from being A protector which I continue to find a bit silly.

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Post #: 66

RE: Protection - 7/1/2010 9:38:57 AM

StoicSadist

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I think subs are even more protective at times....Most of the girls I've been with would do whatever it takes to "protect" me from things....mostly social, but still....I think a sub/slave in a loving relationship would "take a bullet" for their Big Letter Person as readily as their Dom/me would do for them....

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Post #: 67

RE: Protection - 7/1/2010 7:20:43 PM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

How common do you think it is for Dominants to have a strong protective streak? Do you see it in yourself or in the Dominant in your life?

As others have said, I don't think this is simply a dominant trait. However, I have to say it's strange for me to read about all this protection when in my time here I've seen thread after thread about how slaves/submissives do not need protection - we're all grown up, after all.

That said, up until my current relationship, I've never felt protected - not in my upbringing, not in my marriage and not by my ex owner. I learned to depend on myself (or at least try to) for my own emotional well being and spent most of my years not doing that very well. But now...well...it's a first for me, to feel like someone's got my back, and to feel emotionally safe and taken care of. And it's pretty damn cool!

So yes, my owner is very protective of me. And I'm loving it. And as other non-dominants have said in this thread, I have a protective side, too.

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Post #: 68

RE: Protection - 7/1/2010 9:25:54 PM

MagiksSlave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Hello Lady Pact,
I can't believe I'm about to say this.... but here goes! I don't think that it is a "dominant" trait whatsoever. I think it is a "person" trait.

I, too, "flip" (great word for it). It's like the world shrinks down to the danger, protecting others / self, and nothing else.

Too many times, women think a man is going to protect them. Men want to protect their women. Leaders want to protect their followers . Parents want to protect their children (or at least the good ones of these categories). Too many times people rely on the man, leader, parent and aren't prepared for the ugly that the world has to offer. I can see it now! "Excuse me, you can't rape/blackmail/beat/kill me just this minute. I need to call my X-person who will kick your butt."

It reminds me of Suzanne Sugarbaker.

I have actually had conversations with big burly men about this. I'm better trained than some of them, and it has become a joke! "If something bad happens, let sunny handle it! She looks like a sweet lady, but I've seen her fight!" Yep. I'll take that fight in 3 minutes or less... or die trying.

*by the way, though, the best fight is no fight. We practice fighting so we never have to fight... we learn to trust our guts.

Bingo!

I was just about to say the same thing... It has nothing to do with Dom Sub but everything to do with human tendansy. We want to protect the people we love.

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

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Post #: 69

RE: Protection - 7/1/2010 10:08:38 PM

Zevar

Posts: 801
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Greetings LadyPact:

Protection is IMO natural for myself. By protection I mean that when someone confronts my beloved companion I surely do not even consider anything less than protecting her from violent wrath and brute force.

However it is factual that when any woman steps into this World then she is best off to know some form of Self -Defense to protect herself to her highest and best ability. Much like myself when I step into this World, although I am a man, I must too be able to protect myself to my highest and best defense that I am skilled to execute when required.

Protection is naturally within all of us as human beings. We all have an innate ability to defend our self and others we care for when needed. For myself when someone who is held dear or cherished by myself IMO I cannot imagine just riding out the storm and letting someone beat the living daylights out of that someone I care for. NO way!

All I can say to any potential assailant is “ Fear the day if I am provoked into my protective mode. I ruthlessly and merciless defend first and think lastly.” Protection is a most perfect reaction to my innate ability to defend my beloved lovely lady, those I care for and it goes without saying… those I love deeply.

Is protection a dominant trait? I think it is rather innate. Inspired by devotion to another. Dominance is natural as is protection so in that respect it is related to dominance or forceful reaction. Is protection gender specific? I disagree as all of humanity is capable of demonstrating protection.

In the nutshell: It is a human reaction inspired by love. IMO

Fighting Irish I am told.