RE: The Image that is Given (Full Version)

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LadyPact -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 10:48:49 AM)

You've got mail.




Icarys -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 10:51:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists


quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

I like you find these kind of approaches "manipulate, insincere... and most importantly... Weak!


Not everyone that does this is weak...Hell I forget who said this just days ago but it's a well known poster...She mentioned that she emailed a Dom when she first started posting because she was afraid of how the Dom tore people to shreds(I'm sure it was DG)...Maybe she WAS weak but she doesn't come off that way now.


clearly you are not understanding the context of what my comment is based on. I am not calling those individuals that are afraid, intimidated or a host of other reasons of being weak for not posting. They have their reasons.. valid or not... it's their reasons. What I find weak is the individuals that spout the I have people emailing me card as a means to justify their opinion. That to me is weak! and pathetic.


quote:


Some people ARE more timid than others. I can understand how someone like yourself might find it hard to put yourself into another's shoes..It's no easy task when your the kinda person who dislikes what you see as weak. We aren't always spot on though...some of us are surely better at picking out things in people but hey we have our own realities.

Edited for clarity [:D]



No actually.. I don't believe you are understanding. Because you clearly are not understanding what I said in the first place. Yes some are more timid than others.... but there is many reasons why people don't post and when or if they send me an private email to me. I am willing to listen and learn there point of view... but what occurs between us.. is between us. To me it's about respecting their privacy. For if they really wanted their opinion known, they can do it for themselves. Also, I am strong enough in my own opinions not have to have this unprovable support for my opinions. If I require the support... well.. you can be sure that such support is going to be something others can validate for themselves.

I gotya...I did misunderstand then.




KnightofMists -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 10:52:47 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

You've got mail.



mmmmm no on sent me mail... guess that means my opinions are so much weaker than those sending emails to pat each other on the back. I think I am going to open another account to email me to say how fantastic my opinions are! You know to give what I say strength and credibility to the rest of you.




sublizzie -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 10:56:18 AM)

Actually I appreciate when someone says they've gotten c-mail supporting their position. Sometimes it means there are other people besides me who agrees with the poster. And I am one of the timid ones who doesn't normally post something controversial when everyone else is tearing each other to shreds. I don't do well with that kind of "discussion".




AQuietSimpleMan -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 11:00:07 AM)

It is interesting how this thread has snowballed.

So the idea that someone is supported, just not directly on the thread, isn't worth anything?

Now what Image is being presented to the people who do that? Who I am really surprised haven't said anything yet about doing it.

And I do believe there is a Valid reason to do such a thing, sure it can't be proven, much of what gets talked about on these boards can't be, Only for those of us who know the people in person can verify what is real and what is not.

Point being, sometimes it feels good knowing that when it seems like you are the only one who believes something there is someone else who Agrees. Even if they aren't willing to do so on an open board.

What is funny to me is how adamant about these things some people are getting.

I have posted MANY times about the private Messages I have received, I usually thank the person for what they have said and then make note to it in a reply to the post if it is valid.

QSM




juliaoceania -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 11:02:23 AM)

I didn't mention the emails I got on the other side to support me. That thread is dead as far as I was concerned. I only brought it up in the context of your thread because had recently experienced getting emails from people who I wished HAD posted, not in support me, but because I thought it would be more useful to the person that they were really responding to. I even recommended they email her with the things they had emailed me...it does me no good to know their stories, although it might have given the person they were concerned for some additional perspectives from first hand experience... I do not have that experience, just an opinion...




AQuietSimpleMan -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 11:07:55 AM)

Maybe I missed that, this thread added 4 pages in the time it took me to go to the store, Maybe I need to go back and re-read it.

I would agree that saying that "I got an e-mail from someone who agreed with me so I'm right too." Is pretty silly, I am able to stand behind my own opinion no matter how popular or unpopular it is, however when people send private messages, it does help me see that I am not alone in my views.

QSM




Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 11:11:27 AM)

Check out this video...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhZtOFz9zp8




marie2 -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 11:17:06 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

You've got mail.



mmmmm no on sent me mail... guess that means my opinions are so much weaker than those sending emails to pat each other on the back. I think I am going to open another account to email me to say how fantastic my opinions are! You know to give what I say strength and credibility to the rest of you.



I'm speshul. :)

On a serious note, I just wanted to add to the "email support" issue. There have been a couple of times that I've received email as well, in a couple of cases where I was the sole poster in opposition to the rest of the participants. I never came out onto the thread to announce it, and I never took it as the emailer being too weak to come out and speak for him/herself, but I will admit that once or twice it made me feel better about something that I felt strongly about just to know that someone else saw it the same way when so many others weren't "getting" what I was saying.

At any rate, sometimes a person just isn't up for an argument, or they just don't have the energy, in fact, I've emailed supportive notes to people as well....Not because I don't have the balls to get involved, but because sometimes I'm simply not up for it. There are times, many times actually when I pass something up that I feel strongly about, not out of fear that I can't support my position, but just because of the simple fact that if you keep going back and forth it can consume your whole day before you know it.




LadyPact -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 11:20:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
mmmmm no on sent me mail... guess that means my opinions are so much weaker than those sending emails to pat each other on the back. I think I am going to open another account to email me to say how fantastic my opinions are! You know to give what I say strength and credibility to the rest of you.

Sorry for the confusion there.  Your post must have popped up while I was responding to marie.






Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 11:21:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff
Thinking?... before posting?
Interesting concept.
If only you had thought more about parking.....................

Yeah.. sad but true, trust me.





KnightofMists -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 11:27:50 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sublizzie

Actually I appreciate when someone says they've gotten c-mail supporting their position.


and why is that? Does there opinion have more merit because of it? I do think it's it good to know at times that one isn't alone in expressing an opinion. But just because others agree with them is not going to sway my view or perception of an issue. Logic and reason is what I look at.. not popular opinion. I would also say that sometimes the differences of opinion is one of differences in values. Not to say one's values are better than another... but different. For example, you appreciate it when someone says they gotten emails... I for one do not. This a difference of values that make neither of us better or worse.. but it does make us different.

quote:


Sometimes it means there are other people besides me who agrees with the poster. And I am one of the timid ones who doesn't normally post something controversial when everyone else is tearing each other to shreds. I don't do well with that kind of "discussion".


obviously I am not one of the timid ones.. and though you consider yourself as one... I do take note of what you state in the various threads that I envolve myself in and thought I might not always agree.. I do appreciate your insight none the less.




KnightofMists -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 11:31:18 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
mmmmm no on sent me mail... guess that means my opinions are so much weaker than those sending emails to pat each other on the back. I think I am going to open another account to email me to say how fantastic my opinions are! You know to give what I say strength and credibility to the rest of you.

Sorry for the confusion there.  Your post must have popped up while I was responding to marie.





*chuckles*... no confusion on my part.. just a sarcastic comment about my lack of emails to support my opinions!!!! I feel alone in the tide!!!




KnightofMists -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 11:33:04 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan

Maybe I missed that, this thread added 4 pages in the time it took me to go to the store, Maybe I need to go back and re-read it.

I would agree that saying that "I got an e-mail from someone who agreed with me so I'm right too." Is pretty silly, I am able to stand behind my own opinion no matter how popular or unpopular it is, however when people send private messages, it does help me see that I am not alone in my views.

QSM




mmmmm it seems my post is being misunderstood... which I can only fault you people reading it. *wink*

But you have summed it up my view of this "I got an email...." rather well.




marie2 -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 11:38:58 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
mmmmm no on sent me mail... guess that means my opinions are so much weaker than those sending emails to pat each other on the back. I think I am going to open another account to email me to say how fantastic my opinions are! You know to give what I say strength and credibility to the rest of you.

Sorry for the confusion there.  Your post must have popped up while I was responding to marie.





*chuckles*... no confusion on my part.. just a sarcastic comment about my lack of emails to support my opinions!!!! I feel alone in the tide!!!




You have validation Cmail.




VideoAdminAlpha -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 1:37:18 PM)

I just had to jump three pages, because there was a trend going on and I have stopped sending love notes. If you didnt get a note, you either are OFF TOPIC, FLAMING, or referencin a pulled post. Back on topic please.




Icarys -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 2:18:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

A Quiet Simple Man asked this on a different thread, and it is a good question.

quote:

Okay so lets direct this thread into a different question.

What kind of lifestyle is this when someone asks a genuine question about if it's okay to be honest with a Dom?

This implies that they got the idea that the majority of Dom's DO NOT want this, or would be upset knowing this.

What is the image we give, by our words, by the threads we comment on that give people questionable views of this lifestyle?

I look at things in an interesting way, very few people I interact with on a personal level who are involved in this lifestyle are very down to earth, most of the time you would have no idea they were involved in this lifestyle, however the people I interact with on the internet present a lifestyle image that most of the time I find over the top.

Sometimes I have to admit that I think the majority of people discussing this lifestyle online are prone to over exageration and out right lying, I just wonder where this image comes from.

Now before the flame thrower comes, it should not be said that people don't live up to the suggestions made on these forums but It just seems that the consistency of day to day interaction is not consistent with that of those I meet in person.

QSM



People form their own ideas from books and online fantasy games(as someone else pointed out) some of those people have gone on to do up websites and write more books..I suppose you can fill in what they then do with it?

I try not to judge a persons kink or way of life..I will however point out something I think is BS that someone has said and so on..

As far as people being down to earth...You and I just may have different ways. To have my way or ideas bashed because I don't fit your idea of something..well is BS and you(General) Can suck it. I enjoy a female running around nekkid whenever possible...If I want it that way then FU if you think I'm not "down to earth" because of it. Who are you.

On the lying part: I'm in agreement..(Mostly I think people will do it here to keep the fantasy going or to save face in an argument...The ego won't allow them to admit anything)I think people do it here like they do in the "real world" just as much..because after all..people are just that no matter where you go and I haven't found a lot of trustworthy people, period.

It sucks when you meet someone and hear their words in your head as they do the opposite of what they professed..It's just as crappy to watch someone type those same words and later on do the opposite....I'm not talking about the occasional hypocrisy or changing your mind on something(We ALL do that)..I'm talking about the people who do it repetitively.

Yes edited for clarity.[:D]




Mercnbeth -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 3:06:27 PM)

quote:

Sometimes I have to admit that I think the majority of people discussing this lifestyle online are prone to over exaggeration and out right lying, I just wonder where this image comes from.


Very true - because most of the people "discussing this lifestyle on-line" only have on-line experience to draw upon. It's high school gym class with the experience representing blow hard having the BMOC 'image' talking about all the girls he's been with when the reality is the last woman he was inside was his mother at birth.

Usually they try to hide this fact by putting up a false bravado or hiding behind a caricature which they hope will be associated with them and convey their power. Reality being much too scary a place, they revel in their on-line persona; creating their own rationalized sense of others who enjoy experiencing what they can only dream of having the courage to try.

As I said before - you can't trust any on-line representation. Many self professed 'experts' in relationships or any aspect of the 'lifestyle' garnered that 'experience' while one-handed web surfing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan
It just seems that the consistency of day to day interaction is not consistent with that of those I meet in person.
Having met QSM I'd agree with his perspective; stipulating that he is as "consistent" as possible. However consistency is a function of access and opportunity and includes compromise in the nuances of day to day reality; which is where there is a disconnect from on-line representation.

QSM had a problem being identified as a 'sadist', and I think at one time he may have thought ill of me representing myself as one. It was outside the on-line 'image' he had of me. In real time I had the opportunity to reconcile the issue with him and said it is possible to be a socially acceptable 'sadist' instead of a psychotic, or sociopath sadist. What's the difference? Well, a socially acceptable sadist will come and help you and pick you up if trip and fall as quickly as non-sadist; the only difference it a sadist will be giggling when they ask you if you are OK. A sociopath or psychotic sadist may giggle too - but he also is more likely to have tripped you in the first place.

In every situation there is a "Yeah but..." exception. In real life deal with it as it happens as a reaction. You do get to see the 'real' person; which may or may not be the image you got from on-line interaction. On-line, there is the luxury of the delay involved with typing or, confronted with a difficult situation where the 'image' may have to be compromised - you can always use the; "my computer locked!" until you reconcile the response with your caricature on-line image.

Also as has been represented, regardless of the post and poster, in the on-line world there are always some 'head-bobbers' waiting in the wings to provide on-line 'legitimacy'. Even if their not waiting, they are easy enough to 'create' if need be as are 'Farmville Neighbors'. In real life, especially over the long term, there really are very few who would enable, support, and be a partner in a relationship with such a false 'image'.

That leaves you with reality. Whether it's personified by the represented palatial estate bing a single wide with outside toilets or the 6'2" Adonis mistaking height for width; its better to find it out early instead of investing emotions on a caricature on-line image.




KneelingSub25 -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 4:00:43 PM)

When weighing on whether to "post" or "not to post," I would suggest it should depend more on the content of what is being discussed than on the expected reaction of the crowd.  Personally, if a matter is of general interest, I think it should be posted.  By the way, it's not being an "attention whore" to draw attention to important issues that are too often kept in the dark. 




dreamerdreaming -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 4:03:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

For day to day wear I go with a leopard skin pillbox hat.



[sm=hearts.gif]




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