RE: The Image that is Given (Full Version)

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Icarys -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 5:54:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Well missy, you stared a thread and it ended up all over the place....kudos!

I would just like to take a moment and say, I am real, the rest of you are full of shit.

All those lurkers can feel free to contact me for solid lifestyle wisdom.

I hope this helps.

It's "started" and yes you did.(I think that's the only time I've ever corrected someones grammar)


How ungracious of me: Thank you for the experience




Jeffff -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 5:56:23 PM)

I spell poorly to give Aileen something to do.




CallaFirestormBW -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 5:56:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: texancutie

heh..I think everyone online is a bit of an attention junkie.  It simply just is what it is.


Hey, I'll 'fess up on this one. I post because I actually -enjoy- getting my perspective out there. It really -is- a 'me' thing, at least in part. That being said, I tend to agree with texancutie -- if someone doesn't want attention, xhe isn't going to be posting on boards where what xhe thinks is going to be seen and scrutinized and critiqued down to the Nth degree.

When I post, I do my best to stay "on target", and to be forthright about presenting my thoughts in an honest way -- but you know, I can't deny Jefff's earlier comment -- I'm one of the ones who is considered by society to be... well... "a degree and a half off"...but I make no apologies for it, and, in general, my "crazy" doesn't keep me from being pretty doggone functional... it just takes a little getting used to. I'll be the first one to admit though, that I write because I -do- want people to pay attention to what I have to say. Otherwise, what would be the point of going to the effort to write it all down?

Calla




Icarys -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 5:57:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I spell poorly to give Aileen something to do.

[:D]






AQuietSimpleMan -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 6:00:46 PM)

Well you didn't correct Grammar you corrected spelling.

just saying.

Grammar would be telling them to only use three periods for an ellipsis rather than four

QSM




Icarys -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 6:03:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan

Well you didn't correct Grammar you corrected spelling.

just saying.

Grammar would be telling them to only use three periods for an ellipsis rather than four

QSM


I've been corrected.

Thank you as well for the experience.[:D]




Jeffff -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 6:03:38 PM)

oh...right...one true way!




Ha............. I reject your notion!



but kudos on spelling ellipsis!




AQuietSimpleMan -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 6:06:56 PM)

LMAO.

Okay if nothing else this thread finally made me laugh.

QSM




Icarys -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 6:08:13 PM)

It's been fun[:D] I'm outta here for a bit. Later




Aileen1968 -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 6:11:24 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I spell poorly to give Aileen something to do.


Sorry I'm late.... I was getting fucked.




lally2 -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 6:13:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
.I don't want to sound like an alarmist here, but over a course of time, I've read some really stupid stuff that has been posted on these boards.  I've sat on My side of the screen and thought to Myself that it was damn lucky that the person involved with one thread or another hasn't fucked somebody up for life.  I know why, but how is a new person supposed to know?



were they called on it though - i mean people are pretty quick to call bullshit when it is bullshit.

also, and ive been itching to put this but it sounds kinda fluffy, so i havent - but here goes - most, no, ill go so far as to say all of the regular posters are totally consistant in what they say, feel, think and have experienced.  i almost know what some of the guys are gonna put before ive even read their post - you cant lie that consistantly across a broad spectrum of questions and opinions without eventually giving youreself away, least i dont think so.

yes of course there are fantasists and some people have some pretty elaborate fantasies going on - but like i said, if its bullshit we call it bullshit and generally take no prisoners - i mean it can get brutal here sometimes




AQuietSimpleMan -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 6:14:18 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968


quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I spell poorly to give Aileen something to do.


Sorry I'm late.... I was getting fucked.


Well I fucking hope you brought enough for the whole Thread!!!!!!

Just Imagine the Frequent Flyer Miles.

QSM




Jeffff -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 6:15:06 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968


quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I spell poorly to give Aileen something to do.


Sorry I'm late.... I was getting fucked.



AS your protector I have to say... I hope he hurt you....at least a little




BossyShoeBitch -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 7:01:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

At least for me, the men i dated and slept with would have been extremely upset if i critiqued their performances - and even though maybe the OP's experience wasn't overtly sexual, it was in a way , sexual. And asking for more or less or something different would be akin to suggesting they could improve their performance.



Exactly.  That is EXACTLY what you should do.  In ANY relationship partners need to be honest (and tactful) about their feelings.  In a D/s relationship, if the Dom is to make the proper decision for BOTH of you, how exactly is he supposed to do that if he doesn't have all the facts?
You think that not saying anything is the better choice because you are trying to not upset him.  You're wrong. 




Jeffff -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 7:26:47 PM)

Yeah...we really do need to know that kinda shit.


We may ignore it later...:)....but we DO need the info.





LadyPact -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 7:31:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2
were they called on it though - i mean people are pretty quick to call bullshit when it is bullshit.

also, and ive been itching to put this but it sounds kinda fluffy, so i havent - but here goes - most, no, ill go so far as to say all of the regular posters are totally consistant in what they say, feel, think and have experienced.  i almost know what some of the guys are gonna put before ive even read their post - you cant lie that consistantly across a broad spectrum of questions and opinions without eventually giving youreself away, least i dont think so.

yes of course there are fantasists and some people have some pretty elaborate fantasies going on - but like i said, if its bullshit we call it bullshit and generally take no prisoners - i mean it can get brutal here sometimes

The two examples that came immediately to My mind when I was writing that were:

1.  The gal who borrowed a urethral sound from her friend to use on her boyfriend.  She came to the boards after the fact.  Oh, did I mention that the friend had used it on her own boyfriend first and it hadn't been cleaned?

2.  The guy who was here for a bit who had a bad habit of giving half ass information (close to plausible, but crap when it came to safety) on the boards.  I wrote him an email telling him how irresponsible some of his advice was.  His reply first was that what he was doing was funny.  The second was a sob story about how nobody will play with somebody 'new' so he was looking for info on the net and trying to rehash it.

I'll agree many of the regular folks are consistent.  A good number of them I would have faith in even though I haven't met them face to face yet.  There are a certain few that I would literally leave a munch group over because they are nothing but an issue waiting to happen.

It does make Me wonder, lally, about how long it takes for the average new person to figure out who can be relied on for good info and who can't.  It's probably one of those things that I'll never know, but I do have to say that I'm curious.




LaTigresse -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 7:35:55 PM)

Well I have to say that some of the people I initially thought were pretty cool I quickly decided they were just full of shit. AND, some of the people that annoyed me the most, have come to be my favourites and those I wish to meet most. And now I need to vacate this location for a few moments because a dog just farted next to me...




WinsomeDefiance -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 7:37:46 PM)

(fast reply to no one in particular)

I don't get it. Are people who have positive, successful relationships supposed to apologize for being emulated, just because some new to WIITWD cuts corners and screws up? Why would we say that adults have the righht to consensual relationships, then take away their responsibility for owning their own mistakes?

Sure, people only see the end product in a post or two, but if they take enough time to really LEARN about the person they want to emulate, then a bigger picture begins to present itself. I can name several people in successful relationships right now, who have posted the story of their failures and successes. Are they supposed to be at fault, because the image that someone sees of them is an end product? That makes no sense to me.

I don't get the hostility toward those who attend events and/or clubs or seek knowledge where they are at. I don't know why the path one person chooses has to be so all fire offensive to someone who chooses a different path. You aren't diminished because you are different or prefer to draw from a different source for your knowledge and if you are, well that's YOUR shit, not anyone elses.

I happen to think reading someone's books are great, but you know what is even better? Sitting across from them at breakfast and falling in love with them over a cup of coffee while they share with you their life experiences that inspired the book. Finding their bra in your bed is even better. It is also kind of fun to know the author of another book is a self absorbed bitch, and another a narcisisstic asshole because you've met them at events or corresponded with them. My point? Reading what ANYONE writes is great, it may even give you a feel of who they might be, but experiencing first hand WHO a person is, is much more rewarding. Even then, if I was stupid enough to emulate anyone of them, and fuck the pooch because I didn't live my life true to MY needs and experiences, not one of those people would be to blame. My shit, I own it. If someone new comes around and decides to forget that they are an adult, and fucks their own pooch, well that's their shit. They can own it all on their own. That's the adult price of admission. I don't owe consenting adults any apologies because they read something I posted and came away with an unfinished image of who I am. I don't think anyone else does either. Last I checked, this was an adult site.




BonesFromAsh -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 8:13:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

It does make Me wonder, lally, about how long it takes for the average new person to figure out who can be relied on for good info and who can't.  It's probably one of those things that I'll never know, but I do have to say that I'm curious.



It took me about a year, under my previous name, to get a feel for people's style and a general sense of their online reliability.  When I first came here, it was to gather information.  After a couple of very poor choices on my part of who's advice and information to follow, I've now learned that the amount of reliable people, in regards to good solid information and advice that would pertain to certain  activities, I can count on one hand...give or take a finger.

To be honest, I really don't see CM as a place to really learn from.  Interaction with others...yes/actual bdsm technique and information... not so much.  What I know, I've learned from interacting with others offline....actual living.   If I want to learn about something (like my developing interest in cutting and sharp objects) you better be damn sure I'm not going to rely solely on an online forum for safety advice.  There may be certain people I'd contact to ask questions, based on their posts, but their word isn't the be all and end all.  The online interacting can be helpful for the philosophical side of wiitwd, but if you're not careful, it can easily lead to simple mental masturbation.

To address the topic of the image portrayed here...like I said on another thread...you see what you want to see and you hear what you want to hear.  Some people want the fantasy and some want reality...both can be found. 




laurell3 -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 8:28:31 PM)

I do agree with that. I don't know how much actual learning about bdsm happens as much as I learn from seeing other people's viewpoints and overlaying them on my own to see if maybe I am missing something. For me, CM is about expanding my parameters, socializing and even learning about things I will never desire to do. Even in that regard the number of people's opinions or information I will consider is pretty limited.

Usually if I want to actually figure something out I hit someone's mailbox and I have done that with KoM, LP, KC and others. Not because I have some belief that they are perfect, quite the contrary. I know they know they aren't and readily admit it. Their popularity has nothing to do with any standard of perfection. It does have to do with their ability to listen to what people are actually saying (which sadly isn't that common here), ask questions if it is unclear without judgment or overreaction, share what they know on the subject or say hell I have no idea, sorry. I value the opinions of those type of very "real" and human people over the self-important "perfect" ones any day.




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