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ORIGINAL: KneelingSub25

Reading about bdsm is of course a great thing, but I think it is just the starting point, not the end point.  There is no substitute for actual experience, Icarys.  

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ORIGINAL: KneelingSub25

I'm not a big fan of kink clubs, personally.  I'd prefer one-on-one private encounters with people I know and trust.  Those kind of experiences don't just happen overnight, though.  

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ORIGINAL: KneelingSub25

Agreed.  It's like people who claim the best place to meet interesting women is by going out "clubbing."  Yeah, right!  That may be the best way to grind up on a woman, but it's truly not the BEST place to meet a good woman.  It's a place to have fun.  There is a big difference.   

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ORIGINAL: KneelingSub25

Agreed.  It's like people who claim the best place to meet interesting women is by going out "clubbing."  Yeah, right!  That may be the best way to grind up on a woman, but it's truly not the BEST place to meet a good woman.  It's a place to have fun.  There is a big difference.  

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ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan

<Ignoring as much of the bullshit above as possible>

Posting to the purpose of the thread rather than playing who has the biggest cyber penis and who can posture their peacock plume the best.

No one had read all the BDSM Books, or knows everything there is to know. THAT is why there are forums like this. to get a well rounded education. Without this venue for philosophical discourse all you would have is what was available to you, without the world at your fingertips as the World Wide Intewebs has allowed for, all you would have is what you come across. Perhaps Bette Paige getting Spanked, perhaps The Marquis De Sades Christine, perhaps Hustler's Fetish Issue, perhaps a Local Munch, or perhaps just the twisted thing your brain creates.

there is a natural imbalance in finding things without having access to absolute knowledge as you do with the internet. If all you have is the Books you came across you would only have what you found. If the book you found was Loving Dominant then you might only have that view to posture yourself after. Maybe you never discovered Screw the Roses, maybe you never read the Story of O. If you only have a Munch maybe all you know is FemDom's and Male Subs, and so the only kink you have been introduced to is kink that is male target positive. It may never occur to you that Male Dominantion is even an option. (Believe me there are Males I have met who knew all about FemDom's butr had no idea men could do it too.)

But see we do have absolute knowledge at our fingertips and instead of using it most of the time I notice people just look at others and model themselves on the outward appearance of things. The "Image" they want to emulate.

Lets look at things from people on this board, Mercnbeth have a relationship that I personally have not seen often in this lifestyle I could see people see him and go "That's what I want to be, I'm going to try doing things the way he does." This person wants what Merc has and so he emulates himself after Merc. This person ignores so many things because they only know the end story of Merc. They emulate the PRODUCT not the PROCESS.

SimplyMichael, right now is living someone elses Wet Dream, he is enjoying the spoils of a very different life. Someone who saw him 4 years ago might not have wanted to be who he was, he was in a very different place than he is now. However someone seeing him today would want to do everything he did so that he could live that life.

The point being is that we present views and things in an exact way which is generated out of all the time that has been spent on getting there. New people in the lifestyle in my opinion go looking for a shortcut. I want to BE them I just want to be them without having to take the same path they did.

I think this more than anything is where the Image gets muddied. People see what they want to see and more often than not we don't correct them.

QSM

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I know there have been other things added since this comment, but it's the one that makes the most sense to address.

This thread started out as what kind of image is being given. It was also very specific about the portrayal of these various images online. (At least that's what I think it's about. There are more holes in this thread now than Swiss cheese.) So, exactly how does a person go about figuring out what is fact from fiction?

In this post above, you've basically eliminated ways that people can educate themselves. Books. Why would a person want to read books from an established author who has credentials that can be verified? Go to events. If a person is new, wouldn't the best place to see how other couples incorporate BDSM into their lives be to see them in person? Dungeons. If somebody wants to learn about play, doesn't it make sense for them to see some?

Take all of that away and you literally have very little left for a new person to educate themselves. All they now have is somebody on the net who may or may not have any clue of what they are talking about. Just typing up stuff that might seem to sound good, but they have never really put into practice.

I don't want to sound like an alarmist here, but over a course of time, I've read some really stupid stuff that has been posted on these boards. I've sat on My side of the screen and thought to Myself that it was damn lucky that the person involved with one thread or another hasn't fucked somebody up for life. I know why, but how is a new person supposed to know?

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They learn however they choose to learn. Just as long as they do it face to face. I think I've mentioned that..it doesn't have to be in a club setting though.

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ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

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They learn however they choose to learn. Just as long as they do it face to face. I think I've mentioned that..it doesn't have to be in a club setting though.

Stipulating that "face to face" is much different than web-cam to web-cam; who are you debating with saying that it has to be in a club setting?

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ORIGINAL: Icarys

I won't go into a debate over writers..Not saying it's bad to pick up a book to read about how to be a loving Dominant if that's what you want to do...but to me it's just one guys opinion on how it should be done and then a group that agrees with him.

Take everything with a grain of salt I say.
They learn however they choose to learn. Just as long as they do it face to face. I think I've mentioned that..it doesn't have to be in a club setting though.

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ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

I won't go into a debate over writers..Not saying it's bad to pick up a book to read about how to be a loving Dominant if that's what you want to do...but to me it's just one guys opinion on how it should be done and then a group that agrees with him.

Take everything with a grain of salt I say.
They learn however they choose to learn. Just as long as they do it face to face. I think I've mentioned that..it doesn't have to be in a club setting though.

I hate to agree with this.

John Warren
Midori
Jay Wiseman
Jack Rinella
John Norman
Gloria Brame
Janet Hardy
Donatien Alphonse Francois
Robert Rubel
Steven Brust

These are all just people telling the story of how they do things.

Any one is just a single reference however if you read them all you now have a cross section of a lifestyle that shows simularities and differences. It helps to show you a running ideal that usually is based in reality.

Okay I put Norman in there cause I thought it would be funny.

QSM