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Question about terms/titles? - 6/29/2010 11:40:07 PM   
Ligeia72


Posts: 126
Joined: 6/29/2010
Status: offline 		Just curious, I understand that the terms Top and Dom are not necessarily interchangeable with one another, but what about Dominant terms such as 'Master', 'Daddy', 'Sir', 'Lord', etc. Do you think they're all just basically different terms/titles for the same thing, or is there a difference in the approach of say a Daddy compared to a Lord, so therefore they're not all the same. Do you see 'Dominant' as an umbrella term, and terms such as Master, Slave etc to be subsets of that idea?

(Interested in hearing from Mistresses/Dommes also - not sure if I should double post this question in the Mistress section or not?)
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Question about terms/titles? - 6/29/2010 11:44:54 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		There are different types and styles. There are different titles. Sometimes the ones people choose make sense, other times it is more WTF. Some deserve more title than they claim, some less.

Its like the sign for apple. That could mean a red or a green one, or a fuji which has both. Some reward you with a sweat crisp taste, some are mealy and a few are even rotten.

(in reply to Ligeia72)
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RE: Question about terms/titles? - 6/30/2010 12:14:54 AM   
Ligeia72


Posts: 126
Joined: 6/29/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

There are different types and styles. There are different titles. Sometimes the ones people choose make sense, other times it is more WTF. Some deserve more title than they claim, some less.

Its like the sign for apple. That could mean a red or a green one, or a fuji which has both. Some reward you with a sweat crisp taste, some are mealy and a few are even rotten.


Thanks for responding, that does make sense. I'm not a Dominant/into D/s so this isn't an area I've really looked into or know much about. Like I said, more of a curiousity thing, thanks again for responding.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Question about terms/titles? - 6/30/2010 5:09:05 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		We don't do titles. I call him by his name. Works for us. Calling him master (heh...I can't even type that and not find myself laughing) does not make him any more masterful. How he controls me does...

_____________________________



(in reply to Ligeia72)
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RE: Question about terms/titles? - 6/30/2010 5:15:58 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

We don't do titles. I call him by his name. Works for us. Calling him master (heh...I can't even type that and not find myself laughing) does not make him any more masterful. How he controls me does...



Yep agreed.

I find titles distancing and phony for me personally. I call him goofy rather than SuperMasterOwnerDom, he calls me slut or whore...haha.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Aileen1968)
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RE: Question about terms/titles? - 6/30/2010 6:30:54 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		I have always preferd ..." Jeff"

It is short and to the point.

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to Ligeia72)
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RE: Question about terms/titles? - 6/30/2010 6:48:13 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Basically, I'm a rather laid back sort of bloke who Neets and friends call be either IB or just Bear. However I'm also protocol inclined and like things being done or said in a proper format or manner. Just very old fashion that way but it also implies good manners and courtesy. Any one in either the House or my personal collar will address me as either Sir or Master because for it is the correct format and protocol for our lifestyle and it is the way I was brought up. Even people who I new as a child (before they became deceased) was addressed by me, even as an adult) as either Mr or Mrs, and if asked if I wanted something it was always yes/no thank you sir or madam. Frankly even since I discovered both the world of kink and earlier the Gorean Lifestyle, I see no reason to change.    

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Jeffff)
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RE: Question about terms/titles? - 6/30/2010 7:45:11 AM   
Plasticine


Posts: 260
Joined: 6/9/2010
Status: offline 		I absolutely insist that my first name is a word of power and respect.  I really don't see any point in being called Sir, let alone Master, Lord or Daddy.

(in reply to IronBear)
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RE: Question about terms/titles? - 6/30/2010 7:47:14 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Plast? haha doesn't seem too powerful...

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Plasticine)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Question about terms/titles? - 6/30/2010 7:56:24 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Before I answer this question, I'm going to go ahead and put it right out there that I know I'm going to get a ton of shit for the way I reply.  OP, a lot of people don't feel the same way that I do about it, and I'm sure they will show up to say so.

Dominant is usually a catch all term if you're talking about the way people talk around the boards here.  It gets a little old having to type something up to include all of the different categories such as Top/Dominant/Master/pickaterm.  It's just to make things easier. 

In My opinion, no, they aren't interchangeable.  They have different nuances.  For example a Top might be someone who enjoys BDSM play, but doesn't really have an interest in authority dynamics.  There are Dominants out there who have no interest in play whatsoever and are only interested in power exchange.  Daddy Dom is usually used for a dynamic that is more caretaker in nature.  Master is a term that is used by those who own a slave (not just wants to, but actually does or has) or is used by certain cultures within wiitwd, such as Goreans or leatherfolks.  (Don't get confused on that one.  Some people slap that title on themselves without any experience.)  Lord is one that I really don't associate a particular style to, but tends to get used by those who just plain don't like the other terms.  Owner gets associated with those who have the human property philosophy as part of their dynamic.

Sometimes, you can tell a little more about someone's personal style by the terms they use.  The best method though, is to ask the person who is using a particular term what it means to them.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to IronBear)
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RE: Question about terms/titles? - 6/30/2010 8:04:09 AM   
Plasticine


Posts: 260
Joined: 6/9/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Plast? haha doesn't seem too powerful...


My last name is actually "Porter". :P 

laurell3 certainly has a pronounceable ring to it.

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Question about terms/titles? - 6/30/2010 8:08:21 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Shouldn't you be somewhere else...like posting a picture of your ass in panties????

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Plasticine)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Question about terms/titles? - 6/30/2010 8:09:17 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Porter!

fetch my bags!



yeah... that works

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to Plasticine)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Question about terms/titles? - 6/30/2010 8:23:40 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		My last relationship I called him "daddy" or his given name... he didn't want a submissive that he was lord over... everyone is different

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Ligeia72)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Question about terms/titles? - 6/30/2010 8:33:40 AM   
Plasticine


Posts: 260
Joined: 6/9/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Porter!

fetch my bags!



yeah... that works


Fuck you.  You're an anteater.  What is in the bag anyway?

And no laurel I wouldn't want to crash the forums.  Consider me a humanitarian.


< Message edited by Plasticine -- 6/30/2010 8:37:32 AM >

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Question about terms/titles? - 6/30/2010 9:03:46 AM   
MarcEsadrian


Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ligeia72

Just curious, I understand that the terms Top and Dom are not necessarily interchangeable with one another, but what about Dominant terms such as 'Master', 'Daddy', 'Sir', 'Lord', etc. Do you think they're all just basically different terms/titles for the same thing, or is there a difference in the approach of say a Daddy compared to a Lord, so therefore they're not all the same. Do you see 'Dominant' as an umbrella term, and terms such as Master, Slave etc to be subsets of that idea?


Master, Mistress, Sir and Ma'am are the only terms that have made any serious sense to me over the years. Sir and Ma'am are fairly universal for public use and fitting for general deference. It's literally accurate to call your keeper Master or Mistress, if they are indeed your Master or Mistress. Lord and Lady have too much an anachronistic flavor for me, and while I have nothing against SCA types, it's just not my preference to use such terms. "Daddy" or "Mommy" is cutely perverse, and while I can see a paternal parallel on some level with dominant and submissive relationships, I'm not one to make either Oedipus or Electra-laden phrases synonymous with Master or Mistress.

"Dominant" is fair use as an "umbrella noun" in literary terms, but I seldom use it, as I like to be specific in regards to where I'm coming from when answering questions or expressing thoughts, which tends to almost always be from an M/s perspective.

_____________________________

Omnes una manet nox

Founder, Humbled Females

(in reply to Ligeia72)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Question about terms/titles? - 6/30/2010 10:45:17 AM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		You can call a zebra a moose but at the end of the day, it’s still a zebra. It matters not what you choose to call it.


To tell the truth titles and labels in BDSM mean absolutely nothing because everyone defines them differently. Since everyone defines them differently there is no one accepted meaning for any one title, no real definition and there for since every title can mean whatever the person using them wants it to mean they actually mean nothing at all.


I try not to get too hung up on titles. I am still who I am if someone wishes to call me a slave, sub, switch, brat, bottom...


< Message edited by MagiksSlave -- 6/30/2010 10:47:37 AM >

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to MarcEsadrian)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Question about terms/titles? - 6/30/2010 11:33:34 AM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Dominant is usually a catch all term if you're talking about the way people talk around the boards here.  It gets a little old having to type something up to include all of the different categories such as Top/Dominant/Master/pickaterm.  It's just to make things easier. 

In My opinion, no, they aren't interchangeable.  They have different nuances.  For example a Top might be someone who enjoys BDSM play, but doesn't really have an interest in authority dynamics.  There are Dominants out there who have no interest in play whatsoever and are only interested in power exchange.  Daddy Dom is usually used for a dynamic that is more caretaker in nature.  Master is a term that is used by those who own a slave (not just wants to, but actually does or has) or is used by certain cultures within wiitwd, such as Goreans or leatherfolks.  (Don't get confused on that one.  Some people slap that title on themselves without any experience.)  Lord is one that I really don't associate a particular style to, but tends to get used by those who just plain don't like the other terms.  Owner gets associated with those who have the human property philosophy as part of their dynamic.

Sometimes, you can tell a little more about someone's personal style by the terms they use.  The best method though, is to ask the person who is using a particular term what it means to them.


i've always wondered about this same question, but this makes sense to me.


_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Question about terms/titles? - 6/30/2010 1:13:38 PM   
LordShadow


Posts: 172
Joined: 7/13/2004
Status: offline 		I agree with IronBear and LadyPact...there are definitions to the terms but as the communities have grown the definitions have become more individualized, each defining them in their own way.

To me Dominant is not a title so much as individuals with certain dominant personality traits...

Master/Mistress are titles that are associated not only with slave Ownership past or present, but as much who they are and what they have accomplished.

Sir/Ma'am are titles of basic respect shown to all Dominant or "Free" persons regardless of whether they are involved in the lifestyles or not.

This is what girls training with me are taught...Goreans and Leather are addressed as Master/Mistress, all others are Sir/Ma'am...if they are asked not to address as such or there is doubt then they are to ask how that individual wishes to be addressed, and they are to respect their wishes. As for online chat (which we don't do a lot of...) they will err on the side of caution and address as Master/Mistress, unless told otherwise.

For me, if a girl identifies herself as being from a Gorean Home or otherwise identifies as kajira then I expect proper protocol and I am addressed as Master Shadow. Subs and slaves from the other aspects of BDSM I expect nothing more than basic respect whether they address me as Master, Sir, or Shadow. If they want my preference I will give it to them...otherwise just be respectful.




_____________________________

Ride Hard Live Free
Shadow

True beauty is not seen with the eyes but rather felt in the heart...

(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Question about terms/titles? - 6/30/2010 1:43:44 PM   
Ligeia72


Posts: 126
Joined: 6/29/2010
Status: offline 		Thanking everybody for your well thought out responses. This has been very interesting/educational and given me a better understanding of things overall. Personally I don't get into 'labels' as such, except where it serves a purpose to indicate preferences/what I'm into. I do know others use/have labels though, and I wondered how people viewed those labels, or if there was any sort of general consensus that label X in a D/s situation means one thing, and label Y means another.

Thanks again to all for responding. Much obliged.

(in reply to LordShadow)
Profile   Post #: 20
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