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RE: Question about terms/titles? - 6/30/2010 2:10:14 PM   
Nineveh


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All of these have slightly different shadings,  there are also some very big differences depending on the culture.  I know that kajira tend to call any and all male Dominants Master, which, to me, feels like an uninvited intimacy (I don't like someone calling me Master who I do not personally own) however I can understand that, for them, it is the proper term for any dominant male.  Sir is my personal favorite title because it can be used in vanilla conversation.  I like the idea of keeping things sort of formal with a sub at times, and her calling me Sir, rather than by my name, in a private setting can also be a clue that she is in the mood for some play.  

(in reply to Ligeia72)
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RE: Question about terms/titles? - 6/30/2010 5:45:59 PM   
crazyml


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

You can call a zebra a moose but at the end of the day, it’s still a zebra. It matters not what you choose to call it.




meh... a little black paint and a little white paint might buy me enough time to get to the car though ;-)

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RE: Question about terms/titles? - 6/30/2010 6:40:58 PM   
Aynne88


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

We don't do titles. I call him by his name. Works for us. Calling him master (heh...I can't even type that and not find myself laughing) does not make him any more masterful. How he controls me does...


That. I call him by his name. Master? I would giggle. He would think I was being a smartass. Again. .

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RE: Question about terms/titles? - 6/30/2010 6:59:25 PM   
Aileen1968


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

We don't do titles. I call him by his name. Works for us. Calling him master (heh...I can't even type that and not find myself laughing) does not make him any more masterful. How he controls me does...


That. I call him by his name. Master? I would giggle. He would think I was being a smartass. Again. .


I'll jokingly say "Yes master" in a long drawn out way. I always sound like Lurch from the Addams Family.

< Message edited by Aileen1968 -- 6/30/2010 7:03:33 PM >


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RE: Question about terms/titles? - 6/30/2010 7:24:32 PM   
Valyraen


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I always know when Kitten wants something... it's the only time she says Master. The rest of the time, she calls me Sir... not at my insistence, but because she was brought up Southern. Of course, we've both got a zillion and one pet names for one another (and coming up with more all the time). Formal names make me twitchy, not in the good way - only time I use Master referring to myself is when I'm poking fun at me.

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RE: Question about terms/titles? - 6/30/2010 9:13:56 PM   
Arpig


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All titles are self assumed bullshit

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RE: Question about terms/titles? - 6/30/2010 9:51:21 PM   
LordShadow


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Of course they are...


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RE: Question about terms/titles? - 6/30/2010 10:34:46 PM   
Malkinius


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Greetings Pact....

Once again you already said most of what I would have said. You get on here earlier in the day than I do. <grins>

However, you missed one point that we also probably agree on. For many years now, it has been called the Malkinius Rule of Nicks. It says that if you have to put something in your nick to say what you are, you aren't.

And yes, you are many interesting and enjoyable things, but a lady? <grins evilly>

Be well.....

Malkinius


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RE: Question about terms/titles? - 7/1/2010 12:18:14 AM   
Whiplashsmile4


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This is why I insist upon being called "Sir Lord Spank Daddy Master Sir" just to cover all the bases. :-P just kidding.

The differences vary from person to person, and their relationship to one another. The personal meanings and the true depth of meaning varies.

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RE: Question about terms/titles? - 7/1/2010 5:02:40 AM   
Ligeia72


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

This is why I insist upon being called "Sir Lord Spank Daddy Master Sir" just to cover all the bases. :-P just kidding.


LMAO - Thanks for the hearty guffaw

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RE: Question about terms/titles? - 7/1/2010 11:17:13 AM   
ItsAProcess


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

All titles are self assumed bullshit


All blanket statements are a indicator of a closed mind.

Oh, OOPS.


Anyway, for me personally. I see Master/Mistress as a term of either Great respect from Dom to Dom, or it is what my girl calls me when she is feeling /particularly/ submissive.

Daddy just makes me feel weird. Maybe that's because I'm too young to enjoy the aspect of it.

Sir/Ma'am is something I say only to those whom have done something in my eyes to deserve it.

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RE: Question about terms/titles? - 7/1/2010 1:02:24 PM   
Nineveh


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Malkinius

Greetings Pact....

Once again you already said most of what I would have said. You get on here earlier in the day than I do. <grins>

However, you missed one point that we also probably agree on. For many years now, it has been called the Malkinius Rule of Nicks. It says that if you have to put something in your nick to say what you are, you aren't.

And yes, you are many interesting and enjoyable things, but a lady? <grins evilly>

Be well.....

Malkinius



I generally stick with that one as well.  It held true in my case.  I used to go by "Master Nineveh"  Back before I knew which end was which on a flogger.

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RE: Question about terms/titles? - 7/1/2010 1:04:16 PM   
Nineveh


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ItsAProcess


quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

All titles are self assumed bullshit


All blanket statements are a indicator of a closed mind.

Oh, OOPS.


Anyway, for me personally. I see Master/Mistress as a term of either Great respect from Dom to Dom, or it is what my girl calls me when she is feeling /particularly/ submissive.

Daddy just makes me feel weird. Maybe that's because I'm too young to enjoy the aspect of it.

Sir/Ma'am is something I say only to those whom have done something in my eyes to deserve it.


There are plenty of younger men who like being called daddy, there are also those (like me) for whom it will always be weird.  There are two people that I allow to call me daddy, and that is my daughter (since I am her daddy) and my wife, since  I am her daughter's daddy.  If my wife were to call me that when we were in a sexual context it would kill the mood for me entirely.

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RE: Question about terms/titles? - 7/1/2010 2:15:50 PM   
ShoreBound149


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

We don't do titles. I call him by his name. Works for us. Calling him master (heh...I can't even type that and not find myself laughing) does not make him any more masterful. How he controls me does...


That. I call him by his name. Master? I would giggle. He would think I was being a smartass. Again. .


I'll jokingly say "Yes master" in a long drawn out way. I always sound like Lurch from the Addams Family.


.....and look like Cousin "ITT"

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RE: Question about terms/titles? - 7/1/2010 2:24:26 PM   
Jeffff


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I thought ITT was taller....no?

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RE: Question about terms/titles? - 7/1/2010 10:02:51 PM   
MagiksSlave


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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml


quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

You can call a zebra a moose but at the end of the day, it’s still a zebra. It matters not what you choose to call it.




meh... a little black paint and a little white paint might buy me enough time to get to the car though ;-)


LOL

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



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RE: Question about terms/titles? - 7/2/2010 7:42:07 AM   
IronBear


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

All titles are self assumed bullshit


Of course there are those whose titles goes with their position in a job such as military rank and then there are those born with or who inherit titles. Still I am vaguely aware there are some who are anti discipline or formal situations like the military and probably more who are sufficiently anti establishment that they reject and denigrate those fortunate enough to have a hereditary title attached to their name for use when appropriate. In either case they are welcome to their views which doesn't alter the reality one iota.


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RE: Question about terms/titles? - 7/3/2010 5:39:11 AM   
SouthernSpankin


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ligeia72

Just curious, I understand that the terms Top and Dom are not necessarily interchangeable with one another, but what about Dominant terms such as 'Master', 'Daddy', 'Sir', 'Lord', etc. Do you think they're all just basically different terms/titles for the same thing, or is there a difference in the approach of say a Daddy compared to a Lord, so therefore they're not all the same. Do you see 'Dominant' as an umbrella term, and terms such as Master, Slave etc to be subsets of that idea?

(Interested in hearing from Mistresses/Dommes also - not sure if I should double post this question in the Mistress section or not?)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Ligeia72

...Personally I don't get into 'labels' as such, except where it serves a purpose to indicate preferences/what I'm into. I do know others use/have labels though, and I wondered how people viewed those labels, or if there was any sort of general consensus that label X in a D/s situation means one thing, and label Y means another.


There are sub-communities that get all particular about the use of "Master," like LadyPact was saying, and they may have all this protocol and rules regarding it. But if you meet someone like that, they will let you know. As for myself, I've been part of a protocol/rule sub-community before (and enjoyed it), but now I just do whatever works best for me and the person I'm getting intimate with. I've found that the vast majority of D/s people are into titles (sure, some D/s people aren't, and there is nothing wrong with that... most people in this world aren't even into any aspect of BDSM much less D/s). Personally, I've found that Sir/Daddy/Master are interchangeable... in fact, with a sub that has no preference, I tell her to use Sir, Daddy, and Master depending on the mood, and they are quite intuitive about doing a great job at it. From my experience, generally, I've found the girls that lean toward "Yes Sir" to be more into the discipline aspect of BDSM... the girls that lean toward "Yes Master" to be more into the sexual aspect of BDSM, and the girl that lean toward "Yes Daddy" to be more into the affectionate aspect of BDSM... if that makes sense. But the flip side to that is that, generally, being called "Sir" puts me into more of discipline/stern mood, being called "Master" puts me more in a sexual/erotic mood, and being called "Daddy" puts me more in an affectionate/caring mood... but I love all of that so all of it puts me in a loving mood :)

However, of course I've met subs that do have a preference... the vast majority love saying Sir, but some had a hard limit when it came to Daddy and/or Master. Of course, they have the subs that love to specialize in just Daddy/lil girl play or Master/slave play. As for Lord, I've never played with that one before, and have never got to have a conversation with anyone who does (but I can see how it would work fine, I've just never really thought about it). As for Owner, I agree with LadyPact that "Owner gets associated with those who have the human property philosophy as part of their dynamic" -- but you will see plenty of subs use "Owner" just to mean "Dom" (that is, they say they are "owned" but they aren't doing the human property thing, often just D/s without the human property thing).

But remember that we are all different. To answer your question, there is no general consensus on what the terms mean in the general BDSM community... it all depends on the individuals. But there are sub-communities that have rules/protocol regarding some terms, especially "Master."

As for the Femdom side, Mistress, Miss, Ma'am, Mommy, and Goddess are the common ones in my experience. I even know a Domme that has her sub call her Princess and he is her servant boy.

And yes, 'Dominant' is an umbrella term:  the D in D/s, and dynamics such as Master/slave, Daddy/lil girl, etc are be subsets of D/s.

< Message edited by SouthernSpankin -- 7/3/2010 6:27:59 AM >

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