RE: Aftercare (Full Version)

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zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Aftercare (7/1/2010 4:15:06 PM)

Really? I've never had the impression he was talking about *all* subs nor that he was trying to tell us how much aftercare we all should get/need.



jujubeeMB -> RE: Aftercare (7/1/2010 4:16:59 PM)

I'm going to need some aftercare after this thread derails into people yelling at each other... [:D]



laurell3 -> RE: Aftercare (7/1/2010 4:18:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

I'm going to need some aftercare after this thread derails into people yelling at each other... [:D]



Not to worry, I'm sure someone will come along to make swiss cheese out of the thread soon.

It's sad that your question is never about you isn't it?

I think you got your answer though, you have the right to need what you need and a partner that recognizes it and provides it, always.



juliaoceania -> RE: Aftercare (7/1/2010 4:23:35 PM)

You are hawt without the pic, domiguy...now mind you, you are physically attractive in the photo... but you were hawt without it based on personality and laughability quotient that you bring to CM

I have a son that will not allow me to post any photos of him online, he is 6 foot 4, curly headed hunk that girls swoon over... being willing to exhibit one's self over the internet is no proof of being attractive... in fact some of the folks that post their photos might have more success if they "remained in shadows"



MarcEsadrian -> RE: Aftercare (7/1/2010 5:02:21 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

Ok, been in Europe not thinking about D/s for a couple of months, but I'm back and this one is making me crazy:

How do people feel about aftercare? I do a lot of very intense psychological stuff with my Dom, and while during play I feel like the luckiest, most incredibly blissful person on the planet, when I don't get a good "it's ok, I care about you. Come back to yourself" session afterward, I wind up feeling god awful. My Dom agrees that we need to find aftercare that works for me, but so far I can never get him to do it, and in trying to I wind up feeling obnoxious and needy and whiny on top of my already pretty crappy feeling.

Are there any Doms out there who do NOT like to do aftercare? Are there any subs who desperately need it but have had to stifle the need because their Dom wanted them to "get over it"? Everyone else - do you need aftercare? Do you loathe aftercare? Think it's silly? Love it?


I don't understand the issue with aftercare, if there really is one; it's a fairly natural and human thing to offer a slave/servant/bottom who has suffered so much for you a lap to cry upon, and it only serves to strengthen the bond. Knowing you haven't broken your favorite toy, and exploring his/her mental state is comforting, in turn. On the flip side, insisting on the unconditional provision of aftercare in any circumstance is unrealistic and somewhat subversive. There are times when it should not be offered or expected.



ModTwentyOne -> RE: Aftercare (7/1/2010 5:07:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

It's sad that your question is never about you isn't it?





Yes, it is, quite sad.

And now this thread is locked up... it will be up to Alpha whether it opens again. 



VideoAdminAlpha -> RE: Aftercare (7/1/2010 6:22:18 PM)

In deference to the OP, and the fact there WAS some good discussion going on, Im opening it back up. The first one, and any thereafter that participates in anything that was removed, or starts the derail train again, at the expense of someone else, gets immediate moderation. Some have already experienced it. Let's not add to the body count, ok?



laurell3 -> RE: Aftercare (7/1/2010 6:23:31 PM)

Thanks VAA!



AQuietSimpleMan -> RE: Aftercare (7/1/2010 6:24:09 PM)

Agreed Thank you VideoAdminAlpha



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Aftercare (7/1/2010 6:26:35 PM)

Thanks VAA and agreed, let's keep this thread where it should be....on topic



Jeffff -> RE: Aftercare (7/1/2010 6:28:11 PM)

Hummmmmmm ok......


Interesting theory.... on topic.


I have already posted so.......


On topic huh?..........



Ligeia72 -> RE: Aftercare (7/1/2010 6:31:09 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Thanks VAA and agreed, let's keep this thread where it should be....on topic


*joins in the thanks* [:)]

...And in keeping with that idea - Found this on YouTube, just as a point of interest, it's a Flogging session followed by Heart Chakra aftercare. [:)]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVx4Iy8o_i8



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Aftercare (7/1/2010 6:32:12 PM)

C'mon Jefffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff you can do it, I know you can. Start with a short post, get your mandals wet then take it from there *smiles encouragingly*



LafayetteLady -> RE: Aftercare (7/1/2010 6:38:30 PM)

FR-

Personally, I think that the OP has probably gotten all that she is going to get from this thread. She knows what she needs to do, and she knows she has a decision to make. With due respect to the moderators, further discussion on a dominant's need for aftercare would be better served on new thread.



Jeffff -> RE: Aftercare (7/1/2010 6:38:59 PM)

I think after care is a good thing.

I think that I am going to do heinous things to her.

I think it is a good thing to make sure she is ok after.



laurell3 -> RE: Aftercare (7/1/2010 6:41:17 PM)

Ya think? I think you'd need aftercare too if you didn't give it! [;)]


Seriously, aftercare isn't one-sided, especially in an ongoing dynamic. It's just as much about preserving your relationship as it is about her in my opinion.



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Aftercare (7/1/2010 6:43:00 PM)

yay Jefffffffffffffffffff! See you can do it! And I agree, first ya hurts her then ya helps her. Definitely the way to go. Oh and the amount of aftercare will vary depending on how much ya hurts her.



laurell3 -> RE: Aftercare (7/1/2010 6:44:17 PM)

Not necessarily, different people respond emotionally and physically to different things, hurting may not be the determining factor.



domiguy -> RE: Aftercare (7/1/2010 6:45:02 PM)

what is exactly the line between after care and cpr?



Jeffff -> RE: Aftercare (7/1/2010 6:45:03 PM)

Basking in the detumescence?



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