RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (Full Version)

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AQuietSimpleMan -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/3/2010 4:02:33 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan
You have every right to want what you want but do you think that maybe some good matches might pass by thinking that only your desires matter?


Tell that to the Doms who email me every day [;)]


To the Dom's who e-mail jujubeeMB every day.....

She has the right to want what she wants but realize that because she wants what she wants some of you who may be perfect for her will be passed by because only her desires matter.

How was that boss?




Jeffff -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/3/2010 4:04:31 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan


ETA: Before someone mistakes what point I was making: You have every right to want what you want but do you think that maybe some good matches might pass by thinking that only your desires matter? [/font]



See I am never gonna get that thinking. this is the internet. It takes more than a profile to get me one way or the other. I will say that a strongly worded profile would intrigue me. If after talking and meeting I found my needs were not being met, that would be that. I don't see myself being chased away by the profile of a woman who knows her own mind.

I also don't really give a shit how someone treats other folks here. Beyond common courtesy, I only care how I am treated.

Beyond common courtesy, the rest is fluff and silliness.




juliaoceania -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/3/2010 4:05:25 PM)

quote:

It's about Do-Me subs, and having the right to list what you want.


Hmmmmm... I thought it was about being accused of being a "do me" sub because someone states they have needs... You do know that many submissives consider being called a "do me"" as an insult?.... Again my argument that labels should be self applied seems to be a good idea.

If a man calls me a "do me" I think his object is to insult me and put me down.... I actually am NOT a do-me, so it wouldn't even be accurate




frazzle -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/3/2010 4:08:09 PM)

You can be a UberDomlyMasterful whatever, but if you arent what i want to spend my time with, it matters little. I will not submit to someone who doesnt fit my criteria. he may well be someone elses god, he wont be mine.

I'm not discounting someone elses desires, what im saying is they have to match with mine, or why would we bother having relationships.




AQuietSimpleMan -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/3/2010 4:11:07 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

See I am never gonna get that thinking. this is the internet. It takes more than a profile to get me one way or the other. I will say that a strongly worded profile would intrigue me. If after talking and meeting I found my needs were not being met, that would be that. I don't see myself being chased away by the profile of a woman who knows her own mind.


See Jeffff this is where you and I are very different, I would read the profile and go, "Okay I meet all the criteria, but it looks like she is way more interested in her needs then she is looking to be interested in mine, Do I try to get to know her and see if I can find something positive or do I just keep looking until I see something that is for sure positive?"

Best foot forward, from her profile even if I met all the requirements, I'm not interested in getting involved with someone who is all about them.

QSM




frazzle -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/3/2010 4:14:27 PM)

So stating what i wont compromise on is a bad thing????

I live in hope, it will stop those who think its all about them and my needs are irrelevant

And as an edit.
1 of my original in the post was, how come doms can state absolute musts, but subs cant




Jeffff -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/3/2010 4:14:51 PM)

I would see a woman who has been harassed and gotten more "on your knees bitch" emails than anyone should get.

I would see a woman who has taken charge of her own life and has made the decision not to be poorly used.




AQuietSimpleMan -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/3/2010 4:16:18 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

It's about Do-Me subs, and having the right to list what you want.


Hmmmmm... I thought it was about being accused of being a "do me" sub because someone states they have needs... You do know that many submissives consider being called a "do me"" as an insult?.... Again my argument that labels should be self applied seems to be a good idea.

If a man calls me a "do me" I think his object is to insult me and put me down.... I actually am NOT a do-me, so it wouldn't even be accurate


Sorry I based it off of the question she asked.

The ONLY question she asked was

quote:

Dont all of us looking for a relationship, have the right to get what we want out of a relationship?


Now I see where you got what you said this thread was about, but I got what I got from the question.

To answer yours question I am sure some do think "Do-Me" sub is an Insult..... If you are called on, and you don't think you are, water off a ducks back. If you are called one and it bothers you.... maybe you look into why it bothers you.

I was presenting reasons one might call someone that. and adressing the question that got asked.

QSM




frazzle -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/3/2010 4:17:45 PM)

laurell can i just stroke him under the chin. He's such a cute little anteater[:D]

Thanks Jeffffffff (forgot how many f's)




jujubeeMB -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/3/2010 4:22:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff
I would see a woman who has been harassed and gotten more "on your knees bitch" emails than anyone should get.

I would see a woman who has taken charge of her own life and has made the decision not to be poorly used.


[sm=yourock.gif]




AQuietSimpleMan -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/3/2010 4:24:32 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle

So stating what i wont compromise on is a bad thing????

I live in hope, it will stop those who think its all about them and my needs are irrelevant

And as an edit.
1 of my original in the post was, how come doms can state absolute musts, but subs cant



I never said that. And I don't believe that. But that could be why you are being called a "Do-Me" sub.

Stating what you won't compramise on is fine. Hard Limits are discussed all the time. It just tells me a lot about a person when Height is a Hard Limit. This is MY personal opinion, but that should not matter we have already determined that I am not compatible with you because I am 29 and have a child. All these things cut me from the list long before we ever found out anything about the kind of person that I am.

As for the Part I underlined.... I do not agree that either side should. you will notice on my Profile all I have listed are Lives for, Loves, and Likes. Nothing listed as MUST BE. I personally let the person determine how I feel about them. Every size, shape, color, age, and style is on the table, things get determined as I get to know them as people. Some get cut right away, others are potentials and I see where they go but I never clip off an entire group of people based on what they will or will not do.

I will even get involved with a Dominant women, just not as her submissive so even Dominant women are on the list. Submissive Males are even on the list, maybe one day I will meet one that is SO SUPER AMAZING that the fact that I am a hertosexual won't matter.

QSM




frazzle -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/3/2010 4:33:24 PM)

I have friends, both sexes and both sides of the kneel, what we do is meet up knowing we will be potential friends, nothing else.

As to your first paragraph, ( no idea how to quote). Thats my whole point, if you have children still at home, want more children, we are not compatible. Why would i get to know someone who doesnt fit what i want???


My question was why are subs called "do-me" for stating that and dominants not.




Jeffff -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/3/2010 4:34:42 PM)

I believe I have proclaimed my DO MEness loud and proud.




frazzle -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/3/2010 4:36:11 PM)

and i'm still waiting for Laurells permission to stroke you under the chin, and nowhere else lol




JstAnotherSub -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/3/2010 4:43:03 PM)

Damn, I finally got the inspiration to write on my profile what I want, and now this thread comes up.  I wrote "I want" probably 30 times-lol.

Thing is, I do want that all, so I am going to leave it as is. 

I did think about making it as simple as "You will have to make my life better than it is now, since a few years of not answering to anyone has become quite comfy and enjoyable."  But that sounded kinda bitchy to me.

Right now I want to go to the porch and have a bit of herbal therapy to clear my mind.  I asked me permission, and I told me I could.  I know I might wanna "do me" later, but I am confident I can fight me off, if needed.







frazzle -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/3/2010 4:50:54 PM)

we all needs shares in Duracell[:D]




laurell3 -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/3/2010 4:53:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle

laurell can i just stroke him under the chin. He's such a cute little anteater[:D]

Thanks Jeffffffff (forgot how many f's)



I don't think it's his chin that he wants stroking....but go for it!

He doesn't need my permission to do anything by the way. I trust him.





LanceHughes -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/3/2010 4:53:35 PM)

OP (frazzle) in post # 1 you make a definition of do-me that I disagree with.  From the gay view of WIITWD, I define a do-me sub as one that lists their fantasy wants exclusive of any relationship.  To me, a do-me profile goes something like [exagerated for effect] "I want to be in bondage 24/7 and sexually stimulated most of that time.  When Master must leave me alone, it is to be in a cage with a water bowl, half-filled with tepid water.  I will be cathaterized  <SP?> so as to make elimination exciting."

Anyway, that's the kind of profile *I* mean as do-me.

There is no interest in who is paying rent on the dungeon, who is paying the heat/utility bill.  It's basically a wank fantasy that the bottom thinks is BDSM because that's all he's read.  He thinks that tops are looking for a 24/7 sex slave, where the definition of a 24/7 sex slave is that defined by the bottom's porno.

Notice that it's a "he" that writes such nonsense profiles.  Don't know that a woman would make such a mistake - probably because there's little woman oriented porno out there, and what is out there is probably not giving a woman such a bad concept of WIITWD.  (The Gor books and Story of O probably give a fairly close idea whereas Ragin' Truckers - a one-handed reader about male, gay truckers picking up male, young hitchhikers to sell into the slave trade after "tossing" them - probably doesn't. LOL!)

Possibly, quite possibly the straight BDSM community picked up on the term "do-me bottom" from the gay, Leather/Old Guard and is using it when it doesn't really apply.




frazzle -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/3/2010 5:05:16 PM)

Lance, i do accept there are those who only think number 1. no consideration for the partner, but that isnt what i'm talking about.





Level -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/3/2010 5:07:18 PM)

I have no problem with meeting the needs of a submissive.

At the top, or very damned near the top, of her list of needs better be, "Make Level happy, obey what Level says".




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