RE: The "do-me" sub!!!

RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (Full Version)

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juliaoceania -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/3/2010 9:04:10 PM)
Do you think a submissive, by your criteria can be a "do-me" and a real submissive at the same time? I am just thinking that in certain situations I may want to be "topped" the way I wanna be by a certain person, but then turn around and want to submit to another...

AQuietSimpleMan -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/3/2010 11:34:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus I can see where you are coming from, but speaking as a female dominant who gets the do-me subs, the insanely inappropriate emails, etc, I think it's really important to get the deal breakers out of the way before the first email. NO I do not want you if you are under 30. NO I do not want you if you are more than an hour's drive away. NO I do not want you if you are married and I cannot communicate with your spouse. These are big deals to me. Yes, I acknowledge that I might be bypassing someone great. Hey, if you are an hour and a half away... let's talk! Having basic "standards" doesn't make me selfish, it means that I know what I NEED and what I want, and at this point of my life, I know where I cannot effectively compromise. I get this.... I also admit that I could not deal with the Bullshit that Domme's and femsubs get from this site.... There most certainly is a double standard. That being said no one thing will apply to everyone. My Philosophy is based on my reality. I will openly admit my reality is not everyone else's. QSM

ranja -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/4/2010 3:47:37 AM)
it seems to me that a do-me person would be one that is bottoming from the top too everybody should be selfish enough to get their own needs and also their partner's needs met, it makes for good living there should be give and take, it is the trick to get the balance right

lally2 -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/4/2010 4:03:32 AM)
i always thought that a 'do me' sub was someone who wanted it all their own way and when the D says 'no' the sub runs away distraught accusing him of being an abusive, selfish bastard. i think that most of us turn up with a certain amount of 'do me' involved. the trick is then to settle down and grow up, realise that a relationship only works if both people are enjoying themselves. ive had to point out to one or two guys that i need to have some fun too - so what about the 'do me'. Doms - theres even more of those swanning around.under the misconception that it is all about them.

Level -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/4/2010 4:15:42 AM)
Oh no, don't you dare start poking at the dominants, lally! [:D] Attendedone, good post, and thanks for the agreement. Julia, IMO, yes, you can have a do-me that is also a genuine submissive in the same person.

lally2 -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/4/2010 4:38:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Level Oh no, don't you dare start poking at the dominants, lally! [:D] [:D] - worth a try at least - thought it was a good point tho)) - shuffles off quietly [&o]

Level -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/4/2010 5:13:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 quote: ORIGINAL: Level Oh no, don't you dare start poking at the dominants, lally! [:D] [:D] - worth a try at least - thought it was a good point tho)) - shuffles off quietly [&o] It was a good point, beautiful one. Good enough for a thread of its own.... [:D]

attendedone -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/4/2010 8:31:30 AM)
Julia- That is a good question. I think we have many different approaches. I am sometimes dominant in the bedroom and during others, I prefer to be more laid back. I think the question about being a real submissive would come if the dominant made a request and the submissive made a choice to not comply on a whim or something. If I am reading you right though you are asking if you had different interests at different times or with different people, would that negate your connection to submissiveness. I don't think that would be necessarily so. But, it could be if your natural tendency was to lead.

frazzle -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/4/2010 9:17:46 AM)
FR Love all the comments on this thread, wether in agreement or not. To me if its a play session, the "do-me" is accepted. If its a relationship we agree to "do" each other, or it wont work. Communication and Compatibility.

juliaoceania -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/4/2010 9:31:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: frazzle FR Love all the comments on this thread, wether in agreement or not. To me if its a play session, the "do-me" is accepted. If its a relationship we agree to "do" each other, or it wont work. Communication and Compatibility. I think that might be gendered, meaning our male counterparts don't get to have that do-me attitude during casual play....

frazzle -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/4/2010 9:41:27 AM)
smiles Ive never found that, maybe i choose play partners on the basis we both have to get something out of it. We chat about what we both want and make sure the session leaves us both happy. (ok i only "play" with ex's that know me well)

juliaoceania -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/4/2010 9:43:44 AM)
Just have fun, and remember, if you are in the email stage and they are already trying to find ways to undermine you by picking on your profile, etc, that is a red flag that they are just a weirdo anyways

NorthernGent -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/4/2010 9:46:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: frazzle Dont all of us looking for a relationship, have the right to get what we want out of a relationship? No....you have the opportunity....not the right.....gotta earn it..... You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours and all that..... Now assuming the woman is balanced.....tells it how she sees it from the off.....and abides by the rules......then yes...... of course....you can expect 'to get what you want from the relationship'. And....where it doesn't unravel in the expected course...then it's time to move on. It's nice to be nice..and that will earn you a reciprocal exchange of niceities!

TheLadyIsADomme -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/5/2010 4:16:10 PM)
FR For me, it's a question of selfishness or self-centeredness. Everyone enters into a relationship, no matter what sort, with needs. Having those needs met, and how, is the cornerstone of a good relationship.

zephyroftheNorth -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/5/2010 5:02:02 PM)
quote: I think the question about being a real submissive would come if the dominant made a request and the submissive made a choice to not comply on a whim or something. But that would depend on the request wouldn't it [;)]

thornhappy -> RE: The "do-me" sub!!! (7/5/2010 6:08:26 PM)
Hey folks, I'm a bottom but am not an "it's all about me" type. I'm not a sub either. Like sunshine, I'm some custom blend of spices. quote: ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss Fair enough zeph, but why should I? (or anyone). Why should I be defined by a label? If I could remove the "submissive" label from my CM profile, I would. I don't like it. I don't want it. I totally rebel against it, but I don't have a lot of other options. And I don't want to be seen as purely my sexual desire (which by the way is only there some of the time). Why would people be admonished to define themselves as a tiny part of who they are? I don't see us telling gay men to put down if they are a pitcher or a catcher. I want a vanilla bean... with a bit of hot tamale... and honey for the sweetness. yup. Kind of a weird combo, eh? Because unfortunately these labels are the closest thing we have to defining what we are and what we are looking for. I know what you mean and I agree 100% but bottom imo comes closer to describing what these people are looking for since their profile is all about them and what they want and don't have a single word about what they can offer in return. Yeaaaah your combo just gave me a touch of heartburn lol smooches

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