Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in their profile?

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Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in their... - 4/14/2006 10:15:15 PM

MistyMenthal

Posts: 413
Joined: 3/28/2006
Status: offline

Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding?

Reading some profiles,
I've discovered that some Subs?slaves
are very Demanding in their Profiles.

Examples: I will not relocate and that's finale!
             I am new to this, but am looking for a Female Dom.
             all males need to get lost!
             I am Submissive and not Slave, Period!
             Etc.

I've always been Submissive but have never made
a Profile where I was Demanding.

I just felt it was the Masters/Mistresses/Switches
Job to do it? {Be Demanding}

I know sometimes we get Frustrated,
but We are Submissives/Slaves and need to
Remember that.

quote:

"Just My Thoughts."

Kiss Me, Misty

Post #: 1

RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/14/2006 10:28:00 PM

Vancouver_cinful

Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline

I am submissive to someone I choose to be submissive to. That's the way it works. I have as much right (and responsibility) as any dominant to be clear in what I want and need.

I think tone can make a difference, however. There are ways to express these things politely.

Cin

_____________________________

Cin

quote:

My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to MistyMenthal)

Post #: 2

RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/14/2006 10:32:07 PM

lolipop

Posts: 34
Joined: 2/1/2006
Status: offline

I believe that subs/slaves may be as demanding as they wish in their profile. It is the dom's choice whether or not to bother with them, though.

That profile's take is understandable - when REPEATEDLY messaged by male doms despite a message like that (though softly expressed), one can get frustrated and have to type something of that nature. And it's absolutely annoying when doms message me again and again 'will u relokate 2 (insert location)?' even when my profile says that I cannot relocate.

My two cents.

Also, to your profile - the smoking thing. I think it's sexy, too!

(in reply to MistyMenthal)

Post #: 3

RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/14/2006 10:33:53 PM

SpiritualWater

Posts: 4
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline

This topic interests me greatly ...our ability to communicte when speaking publically can often be measured like this:

Total communication = 10% from our spoken words + 30% from our body language + 60% from our knowledge of the subject and the visual examples we provide.

When writing it is so hard to communicate crisply. Somebody could say they got a new car for their mother last week and one person may think they were a wonderful son and the next may think this jerk traded his mother for a car!!! Our words may not be as crisp as we think sometimes.

When writing, a person should write once to get the thoughts out, then edit it into a more concise version where half the words are eliminated while 100% of the message is retained. Then next re-order the words to make a clearer point, then write it again to remove half the words and still make 100% of the point.

My point is all of this is that communication takes work and effort. Ones willingness to apply themself through words reflects on their desire to apply themself in many other aspects of their life. So if you leave an abrasive demanding tone in your message most probably you will also take short cuts on more important elements of life as well ...and that leaves you as a fairly lacking human being.

If you want to be read as demanding remember that will also be read into many more aspects of your life than just the one thing you're speaking of.

Ken <---

(in reply to MistyMenthal)

Post #: 4

RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/14/2006 10:34:53 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

mmmmmmm so how does a submissive say they will not move? I would think that a person has a right to express their limits whatever they maybe? Just because a person is a submissive doesn't mean they can't demand certain limits be respected in their relationships. Granted, there is more positive methods to express ones limits or boundaries over other methods. Interestly enough, those that are able to communicate it effectively and positively will find themselves in good relationships more likely than not. Those that are negative and ineffective in communicating their limits as they seek that significant relationship or is continuely in and out of relationships... well... it would be wise for them to look within for the reason why. But, to often they just demand themselves into a corner all by themselves.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to MistyMenthal)

Post #: 5

RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/14/2006 10:35:06 PM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

I may be submissive... but not being owned. I can be as demmanding as I want when it comes to making sure I won't settle for anything less than what a Dom will not settle less of either. My profile states simply that I have a brain and intend on using it. If you want a doormat, my profile states i'm not what you are looking for. Just worded differently. If it appears demmanding instead of showing who I am. Oh well.... it will read how it's suppose to ..... to the one that is suppose to.

Oh and welcome to the forum Misty..... enjoy.

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to Vancouver_cinful)

Post #: 6

RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/14/2006 10:39:42 PM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

Hell yes they can be demanding. We're and they're looking for who they want, and if a sub don't want to relocate, or wants a female it's their search.

(in reply to Vancouver_cinful)

Post #: 7

RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/14/2006 10:42:02 PM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

i think putting in your what you will or will not consider is a good thing. There are definately way more polite ways of stating it then some do though.
i know personally i'd prefer to let someone know right off that i have no desire, or in my case the ability, to easily move to someone unless they are with in the same province. For me to do so just means more legal fees lol Also the one that wants 24/7 complete control would not be a good choice for me either. i couldn't exist being micro-managed and not be allowed to occasionally have my own thoughts and opinions. Therefore being a slave would not be my calling either, in my opinion, i could be wrong *giggles*

Just because we are submissives or slaves does not demote our desires. Espeically while we are single/un-owned. At such time that we become once again a possession of another, what we want and seek is just as valid as anyone elses.

Is it possible for a sub/slave to be demanding? Oh goodness yes. lol i've seen some very demanding submissives. Maybe it's a way of topping from the bottom or getting attention whether it is positive or negative
Is it an attractive attribute in a sub or slave?.. well that would be something for their owner to answer, for each desires something different from each of us.
Personally i find asking nicely gets me alot farther then stamping my foot and yelling at the top of my lungs *giggles* that tends to just get me corner time and ignored and that is worse punishment then getting beat as far as i'm concerned.

i guess what i'm saying is...Yes we have the right to be demanding but i believe if worded politely and non aggressively it will be received better by those we would like to consider us as their new toy *grins* i also belive it makes the job of those seeking alot easier as well. If someone knows right upfront that a sub is only into women they wont waste time messaging her. right? (well in theory anyway)

Being a sub or slave doesn't mean that our every decision is decided by someone else. We are still individuals until such time we opt to give up our individuality.

my journal entry would probably be seen to some as non submisive, but it's honest and it's me. *smiles* i will bend to please the one(s) i choose but will not be someone i am not for anyone. Life is too short not to be true to yourself, no matter who or what you are.

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to MistyMenthal)

Post #: 8

RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/14/2006 10:48:11 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritualWater

My point is all of this is that communication takes work and effort. Ones willingness to apply themself through words reflects on their desire to apply themself in many other aspects of their life.

I would agree that it takes effort to communicate effectively. Unfortunately we are often lazy in this regard and it is no wonder we have miscommunication. I would add that communication is not just speaking to be understood, but listening to understand.

Secondly, I would not neccessarily equate poor communication as an indication of how a person approaches other aspects of their life. However, communicating with a person that is a enjoyable is much more preferred to one that is frustrating. If the communication is frustrating, I would not really care how they apply themselves in other aspects of their life.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to SpiritualWater)

Post #: 9

RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/14/2006 10:51:15 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

I like the line from desiderata "Speak your truth quietly and clearly..."

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 10

RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/14/2006 10:51:27 PM

buffiyum

Posts: 119
Status: offline

well MistyMenthal.....
one would respond thus:
everyone goes through things in their lives which impacts on how they perceive things and respond to things.....
for herself, buffy would say that since she has been through the perverbial ringer in this search, there are then certain things she will not be looking for or permitting. This is then due to the past experiences she has gone through and/or because she knows herself better now then she did before.
For other girls/boys, perhaps they been overwhelmed by the responses on here or elsewhere in the online world and they are perhaps reacting to that.
one has always believed that those who live in glass houses should not throw rocks. Ergo sum, each lives their own journey, and it is not for anyone to judge that journey.
respectfully
buffy

(in reply to MistyMenthal)

Post #: 11

RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/14/2006 10:57:17 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

Your profile is simply the front door which you paint. The various colors you apply will attract certain mentalities and you just have to be prepared for it. If you create something which comes off as demanding, you'll attract those who view it as a challenge and those who view it as an opportunity to take you down a peg or two. There are two sides to every coin. If you paint something which is demure and inviting, you'll attract those who are seeking easy prey, but also those who appreciate grace. If you paint it exactly as who you are, then you'll attract those who seek 'you'. That, to me, is the point.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 12

RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/14/2006 11:00:34 PM

enthralled

Posts: 249
Joined: 9/13/2005
From: Nashville, Tn
Status: offline

Hmmmm . . . demanding? I like to think of it as trying to be precise and not wasting words <smiles>. I've gotten some rather interesting emails from offended Tops/Doms/Masters just because I say in my profile that I do not wish to train my Dominant. I don't consider this to be demanding, but only one of the qualities I am seeking. . . some common ground.

Respectfully,
enthralled

_____________________________

A man never discloses his own character so clearly as when he describes another's.-Jean Paul Richter

(in reply to buffiyum)

Post #: 13

RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/14/2006 11:23:08 PM

CrappyDom

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

Clarity is a precious commodity and I run from any profile that lacks it. I want a strong powerful independent woman as my submissive because that makes her submission all the sweeter to me.

(in reply to MistyMenthal)

Post #: 14

RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/15/2006 12:04:48 AM

masterdeltafire

Posts: 81
Joined: 9/26/2005
Status: offline

I do not think it is demanding at all. The profiles are a starting point on finding common interests and ground to work with. And usually, the more detailed a profile is on what one is looking for, the better.

I know I am one of few Doms who keeps a journal. I use it as a open book, both to share knowledge, and to unwind. Writing is one way of doing so for me.

Communication is very important in any relationship. I want to know everything on someone both on a Lifestyle side and non to be sure the chemistry is there. I have always believed there is someone out there for everyone, and finding that elusive perfect match. Since there is no "hard and soft limit database (besides likes and dislikes), the more information one gives, the better.

I guess it is like reading a book. If you do not like what you see, turn the page.

(in reply to CrappyDom)

Post #: 15

RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/15/2006 12:47:23 AM

arissa

Posts: 28
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline

I just posted my profile and was (in my thought) honest in all factors. I don;t believe if you are honest in what you seek and do not seek would be considered demanding, perhaps we all read thing's differently. I would like to think that none read mine as demanding, but if they do I would also hope they ask for clarification in what I stated

(in reply to masterdeltafire)

Post #: 16

RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/15/2006 12:59:19 AM

masterdeltafire

Posts: 81
Joined: 9/26/2005
Status: offline

If someone gets past the two page intro on my profile, My compliments (that was the short profile version).. As I said before, the more information you give in the beginning, the better chance of finding that perfect match.

(in reply to arissa)

Post #: 17

RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/15/2006 1:19:16 AM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

coming from someone who's profile says nothing and picks a very poor representative nick name.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

Clarity is a precious commodity and I run from any profile that lacks it. I want a strong powerful independent woman as my submissive because that makes her submission all the sweeter to me.

(in reply to CrappyDom)

Post #: 18

RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/15/2006 1:20:51 AM

SoulfulSadism

Posts: 53
Joined: 9/3/2005
Status: offline

Freedom of Speech - counter : Right to respect

(in reply to masterdeltafire)

Post #: 19

RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/15/2006 4:57:55 AM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

My profile can say anything I want it to say (as long as collarme agrees...lol), it's my profile. What you're reading in profiles, is just a reactive statement to probably numerous emails that the person doesn't want to receive. She can't or doesn't wish to relocate, but she gets tons of emails from folks that would expect it of her. She isn't interested in men and receives tons of emails from men, etc. Submissives get tired of stuff like anyone else and not all of us are polite 24/7! lol.

(in reply to SoulfulSadism)

Post #: 20

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