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Age/maturity/adulthood..? - 7/4/2010 10:01:55 AM

sir1969

Posts: 20
Joined: 12/19/2008
Status: offline

Edit: Oops, should have posted in off-topic!

Nope, not about what you think

I'm 41 and still wondering when I will feel like an adult.
I'm a Dom and enjoy it, though not sure how I ever gained that position.
I see professional people around me where I work and wonder why they seem so adult-like yet I do not feel that way at all.
I'm an artist and I love it - it eats at me if I don't create something.
I play PC games and build mechanical things with Lego technic sets.
I still enjoy simple things in life like sitting in the sun, building a rock dam in a stream, tickling my wife/sub. He he.
May being an adult is just simply over-rated.
Am I missing out on anything?

< Message edited by sir1969 -- 7/4/2010 10:03:49 AM >

Post #: 1

RE: Age/maturity/adulthood..? - 7/4/2010 10:10:27 AM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

I'm not sure why you are trying to be someone else's version of an adult....

Do you care for yourself and your family?

Do those things you enjoy impede your ability to provide for yourself?

If not, you an adult. It sounds like you are a healthy adult enjoying life to me.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to sir1969)

Post #: 2

RE: Age/maturity/adulthood..? - 7/4/2010 10:20:10 AM

KariCloud

Posts: 74
Joined: 5/14/2010
Status: offline

I think being an adult means more than the superficial appearance of seriousness and maturity. Being an adult to me is simply taking responsibility for oneself, one's behavior, consideration for others, and the necessities of a healthy life. For me, nothing else is required.

I will continue to dig holes in the dirt, spend hours figuring out what animals and shapes the clouds remind me of, coloring books, stuffed animals, ribbons, dolls, dress-up playing, silly games, children's books, and everything else that I love about being alive no matter what age I am or how many people accuse me of not being an adult. None of these things make me any less of a REAL adult. I pay my bills on time, if not early, I am polite and considerate of others, I am generous and understanding and forgive readily, I take care of myself, my possessions, my house, my animals, and my friends, I am not afraid to admit to mistakes, and I take full responsibility for my words and actions. Am I not an adult, then? Yep, I sure am! Crayons and cloud-animals and all.

I tend to refuse to hang out with people who criticize me for such childish enjoyment. Among other things, more often than not the ones who accuse me of being childish are also the ones who regularly forget to pay bills, eat too much junk food, and are rude and selfish. Ironic, isn't it?

(in reply to sir1969)

Post #: 3

RE: Age/maturity/adulthood..? - 7/4/2010 10:20:24 AM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

Personally, I think people quit being adults ages and ages ago.

My parents were adults. I'll pretend to be 50 next time around, but I think I, and most people of my generation and those following, got stuck at around 23-26.

I've been that way for a LONG time. And don't really feel like it's possible to become older.

That's not to say I don't or can't make responsible actions or decisions. Purely by accident, mind you.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 4

RE: Age/maturity/adulthood..? - 7/4/2010 10:27:43 AM

sir1969

Posts: 20
Joined: 12/19/2008
Status: offline

Thanks for the great responses!
I was just curious as to other's take on the whole idea of adulthood.
For me, even a good round of bdsm is "play time". Never overly serious, often just plain fun & amusing.

(in reply to mstrjx)

Post #: 5

RE: Age/maturity/adulthood..? - 7/4/2010 2:37:49 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

When you look at people around you and think they are adults, you don't know that they're looking at you and thinking the same thing. Don't compare your inside to other people's outsides.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to sir1969)

Post #: 6

RE: Age/maturity/adulthood..? - 7/4/2010 4:44:13 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

I've never felt like an adult- not like an adult the way my parents are - and i've about got to the point i don't care.
It seems to me that i have had more fun in my life than my parents did/do, so really, who got the best deal?

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 7

RE: Age/maturity/adulthood..? - 7/4/2010 6:58:13 PM

JstAnotherSub

Posts: 6174
Status: offline

I have actually had this conversation with family and friends. We all say we dont't feel like a "grown-up".

We all have jobs and kids and all that jazz. Most of us are even semi-normal. We have decided that the day we wake up feeling like a "grown-up. we will be afraid.

If I even say the words "I am 48 years old" it just doesn't compute-lol.

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 8

RE: Age/maturity/adulthood..? - 7/5/2010 12:48:50 AM

lobodomslavery

Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline

i feel normal . i dont have a job , i dont pay bills and i dont have kids. Just because someone fucked it up for me and a lot of people doesnt mean im not normal. Whats abnormal is the economy at the moment
kevin

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)

Post #: 9

RE: Age/maturity/adulthood..? - 7/5/2010 1:03:29 AM

Plasticine

Posts: 260
Joined: 6/9/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sir1969

Edit: Oops, should have posted in off-topic!

Nope, not about what you think
I'm 41 and still wondering when I will feel like an adult.
I'm a Dom and enjoy it, though not sure how I ever gained that position.
I see professional people around me where I work and wonder why they seem so adult-like yet I do not feel that way at all.
I'm an artist and I love it - it eats at me if I don't create something.
I play PC games and build mechanical things with Lego technic sets.
I still enjoy simple things in life like sitting in the sun, building a rock dam in a stream, tickling my wife/sub. He he.
May being an adult is just simply over-rated.
Am I missing out on anything?

If you don;t feel anything missing then it sounds like you are golden. Some people find a 'higher calling' and others don't. It sounds like you have a nice life.

I somewhat recently had a cathartic experience where I called myself out on a lot of things... since then I've lost all interest in PC gaming (a lifelong hobby as well), started dating again, started working toward graduate school and have a book idea of my own I want to get off the ground. This was the moment that I became an 'adult' but it had been a pitched battle up until. So for me, yeah I needed that moment to get dislodged from wherever I was stuck.

If you like your life and don't have angst about something you should be doing... well count your blessings and enjoy!

< Message edited by Plasticine -- 7/5/2010 1:04:14 AM >

(in reply to sir1969)

Post #: 10

RE: Age/maturity/adulthood..? - 7/5/2010 1:33:08 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

Many cultures think that Right Brain focus is childish, and Left Brain focus is adult.
pfffffffffffft.

Enjoy your wonderful self!
(I'm the goofiest teacher in the world, and one of my students asked me today if I teach kids because of all the funny faces I make. I told him it was a product of learning to speak American Sign Language. It's part of the vocabulary.

)

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Plasticine)

Post #: 11

RE: Age/maturity/adulthood..? - 7/5/2010 1:49:55 AM

Termyn8or

Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline

I jumped through because I don't care to sift through all the banter.

You need three things to be grown up.

1. A good ass kicking, I mean going to the hospital.

2. A good car wreck, with kids in the car you hit.

3. To lose everything you own at least once.

That'll grow ya.

T

(in reply to sir1969)

Post #: 12

RE: Age/maturity/adulthood..? - 7/5/2010 3:20:07 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I did not feel like an adult until the birth of my first child. I did adult things, I behaved like an adult (worked hard, had stability in my life), but it was not until that moment that I realized how big my life had become. Mainly because I was responsible for the life and well-being of another person. I think different things represent "adult" to different people.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Termyn8or)

Post #: 13

RE: Age/maturity/adulthood..? - 7/5/2010 4:04:39 AM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

I have a feeling that I'm going to be goofy for a long time, but as others have said, this doesn't prevent me from being responsible, etc.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 14

RE: Age/maturity/adulthood..? - 7/5/2010 9:39:09 AM

sir1969

Posts: 20
Joined: 12/19/2008
Status: offline

My wife/sub is upset with me this morning. She feels this whole thread was bad advertising on my part in our search for a sub. Apparently not feeling like an adult signifies being irresponsible and exhibiting non-Dom behavior. I disagree. Simply partaking of a BDSM lifestyle requires a great deal of responsibility (of course not everyone lives up to that responsibility). And as per my Dom-like behavior, every Dom is different and I just happen to be a bit more on the playful side when in Dom mode (there is sub-space, is there also Dom-space?) Being a Dom gives me not only physical pleasure but emotional as well. I will be seen smiling a lot, pleased and amused by my bound & sexy sub. Much like a kid with a shiny new toy

.
When it comes down to my original post, I think I have my own answer - the adult-like people I see all around me take things far too seriously and seem to get no pleasure, no amusement, from all the little things in life.

(in reply to Level)

Post #: 15

RE: Age/maturity/adulthood..? - 7/5/2010 9:49:03 AM

newbie2750

Posts: 33
Joined: 3/25/2010
From: New Zealand
Status: offline

I think I actually became an adult when I learned to take responsibility for my own life, my own actions and the consequences of those actions.

Do I feel like an adult? Very rarely - I just pretend occasionally. I've managed to fool a few people.

(in reply to sir1969)

Post #: 16

RE: Age/maturity/adulthood..? - 7/5/2010 9:49:37 AM

masmiss

Posts: 494
Joined: 2/16/2009
From: New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

I jumped through because I don't care to sift through all the banter.

You need three things to be grown up.

1. A good ass kicking, I mean going to the hospital.

2. A good car wreck, with kids in the car you hit.

3. To lose everything you own at least once.

That'll grow ya.

I haven't experienced any of those things so I guess I'm still a kid. And, that's OK because I still feel like a kid!

_____________________________

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

-William Ernest Henley

(in reply to Termyn8or)

Post #: 17

RE: Age/maturity/adulthood..? - 7/5/2010 10:01:29 AM

DarlingSavage

Posts: 2808
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline

I won't grow up
I don't wanna go to school
Just to learn to be a puppet
And recite a silly rule
If growing up means it would be
Beneath my dignity to climb a tree
I won't grow up
I won't grow up
Not me!

_____________________________

<-- Easily amused.
<-- Easily impressed.

Strangers have the BEST candy!

Puppy dogs are my favorite people!

(in reply to masmiss)

Post #: 18

RE: Age/maturity/adulthood..? - 7/5/2010 10:32:14 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I think this is a bit of backwards thinking. When did life require that adults couldn't have fun or even child-like fun? Why must we be child-like to be playful, enjoy some toys, go explore nature in building rock formations or whatever? Who says all these fun things are only for kids and it somehow would diminish our adult status or behavior to do them?

I admit that I am an adult and I like to have fun! (And I ain't no kid!

)

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to DarlingSavage)

Post #: 19

RE: Age/maturity/adulthood..? - 7/5/2010 10:39:34 AM

Termyn8or

Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline

I knew a Mother of three who went to jail for stealing DVDs and video games. How does that fit here ?

T

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 20

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