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ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Btw, I don't get on webcam for random strangers.  I've met, in person, over a hundred people from this site.  If that's not good enough to 'prove' that I really exist, that's nothing that a webcam is going to fix.

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ORIGINAL: WestBaySlave
I used to think as the OP does, that webcams are a great way of saying "hello" face to face. Yet every time I've done this, the person on the other end of the line has wanted more, wanted things to get sexual, before we'd barely even knew each other's names. And if you say no... Well, then you're not a real sub, etc.

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ORIGINAL: bamboozledbylove
It's the same with BDSM online.

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ORIGINAL: bamboozledbylove

BDSM is fantasy to start with. From that starting point, what is real?

It's one big game of make-believe.

I suppose "real" means not just wasting other peoples' time posing when what they are after is an online diversion, money, or something else. Real would be someone who at least acts out the fantasy, and maybe has an outfit to wear for play.

Remember that your basis for comparing real from not real is only an idea in your own imagination. You sat there thinking up what a real female dom would be. You didn't form that idea from knowing any. So when you ask if there are any real ones, what you are asking is, are there any women who match your fantasy of what a female dom would be like? You almost have to ask yourself how real your question is.

From what I can tell, the vast majority of BDSM online is its endless definition of itself, and then maybe now and again people actually get together for sex, to dress up, to show off new toys, or to try out contraptions. Offline, people use the concepts and language of BDSM to organize their relationships, partly for the fun of it but also as an alternative to the more traditional methods that they suck at.

"Real" female doms are about as rare as "real" phone sex operators. Call a pay line and talk dirty with a gal who in the ad looks like a porn star but in reality is middle aged, bored, twice her ideal weight and fashion challenged. You can have fun on the phone as long as you don't push your luck and go looking for a woman who "really" likes to get men off talking dirty like that. It's the same with BDSM online. The fantasy works for people who if you met in person, it would be like cold water thrown on a wet dream.

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TheLadyIsADomme:
Assuming you found someone who was willing to "prove" herself to you, all a webcam does is show you a woman. How is that going to demonstrate "real domliness"?

LadyPact:
Why not meet people at the local munch?  BDSM club?  Discussion group?  National event?  (Ed:  skipping to another of LP's posts that while not addressed to the OP, still pertains to the OP.)  Well, here's a thought.  Don't participate in BDSM online.  I know, I know.  Such a pain in the ass to suggest getting involved in the real time community.

DarkSteven:
I'll give you a hint.  The first paragraph of your profile will deter anyone real from having anything to do with you, and the second one doesn't help. You are essentially walking into a dating situation and shouting that you want nothing to do with fakes.  Who would stick around after that?  Instead of that, describe YOU.  What do you want - a few dates, a LTR, etc.?  What would a woman get from spending a day or two with you?  Also, note that your profile says that you spend a lot of time online.  You will likely appeal to a gamer at this point.  If that's not what you wish, try a group such as the ones in tazzy's link.

jujubeeMB:
For a start, don't contact the people with high quality porn star pictures. They are the "fakes" that you are having problems with. As other people have pointed out, they are not actually fake, as they do exist - someone made that profile - but they are not what you are looking for, from what you've been saying. Try branching out and sticking to profiles that don't look and read like your wildest dreams, and as DarkSteven pointed out, make your profile something positive and friendly and more reflective of you. I never respond or write to anyone who complains about this site on their profile, and I'm sure there are a lot of other people who feel that way too.