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ourmsbetty -> The Mail of the Species (7/6/2010 3:53:25 PM)
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I just came home to find the following, wonderful post on My Bottom Smarts a spanking blog I enjoy very much.
http://bottomsmarts.blogspot.com/2010/07/mail-of-species.html
Granted, she's the bottom-y type and this topic gets covered a LOT but I still found her suggestions worth repeating.
Ladies, would you agree?
Pay attention, guys...this is how you do it:
quote:
So if blurting out an ill-conceived one-liner about a woman's physical attributes doesn't get it, what does? Almost anything else would be an improvement. But to be specific, here are some simple guidelines.
- Women are people. Don't treat us like a collection of body parts displayed solely for your titillation
- A good way to begin a conversation is, “Hello, my name is _______ and I'm also interested in _______.”
- Yes, women are sexual beings too, but we are much more. If you want to connect with a female at any level, try first becoming her friend.
- Context is everything. If you know someone well and they feel comfortable around you, you can be blunt when the situation calls for it. Otherwise, it's better to err on the side of caution.
- Don't assume familiarity when none exists. Just because you've read my blog doesn't mean you know me (or that I know you).
- Most submissives I know direct those feelings toward one person. Even if you think you're über-Dom, you're just another guy to me.
- Don't assume that any compliment will be appreciated. Again, consider the context. If you have no relationship with the woman you are complimenting, even well-intended remarks come off as superficial at best.
- If you choose to introduce yourself, you might first see what you can learn about the person (but please skip the whole creepy stalking routine). For example, anyone who spends ten minutes on my blog will know (a) I am straight, happily married, and completely monogamous, (b) I play only with my husband, (c) I'm kinky, but mostly in terms of being spanked, (d) I never switch, and (e) I like meeting spanko friends. Armed with this information, it's pretty easy to strike up a conversation with me.
- Anyone who cannot figure out how to use spell check is perceived as being an idiot. IM-speak is simply annoying. You won't impress me with that.
- Don't think that a woman is stuck-up because she doesn't answer every drooling cretin who sends her mail. Just look at these messages. There's a real person at this end. Many times, it's easier to hit delete than to try to drag these characters one by one out of the stone age.
- Respect and courtesy aren't mandatory, but they are always appreciated. Asking for a favor will get better results than making a demand.
- Very few women want to hear about your personal measurements, especially in an unsolicited e-mail message. Ditto descriptions of your favorite sex acts.
- Be real. If you represent yourself to be someone you're not, you are less likely to find what you seek.
- Keep it light, at least at first. You can send me your life story if you must, and I might even read it, but I would rather hear about a new spanko friend you met or an implement you tried last week.
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