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LadyHugs -> RE: Is it just me? (5/6/2006 3:36:52 PM)
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Dear LoganStrange, Ladies and Gentlemen;
I thank you for approaching the problem of what the entire "lifestyle" and or D/s, M/s, S&M and, in some ways life itself proffers.
I admit I am one of those old ladies late bloomer to the computer age. However, I did get a bit of a laugh, as to nearly fall out of my chair, when I watched dominant men claim they were Old Guard. The only thing they were, was just plain old. Most confessed they just wanted "sex" their way, command, control, humiliation -- more of a "get even" mentality. However, the behaviors the community tolerated then are much more stated then they are today. But, it still remains the problem today. I realize that this is not only a problem with male dominants, it is also present in the female dominant ranks. It saddens me, how so many use the title of dominant as a means "to get even." That wasn't the mentality of my time.
Everybody, to include me--wants to be part of the group, not an outsider. Some will do it by the old fashioned antiquated way I did, which took a lot of time, effort and hard work, as to also phase from slave into a "Master" (Master was the only titles used other than for assigned positions, such as Mistress of the wardrobe, etc.)
However, so many have no patience in earning their knowledge, so they cheat. The Internet aids in cheating, as they take words printed of somebody else's experiences and making it into their own. I have had students who I have divorced and have disclaimers on, for doing that very same thing. If they had done what I did, with their age, they would be in a collar at age 4. Not realistic and to this day, skills might be fine but, a Master he is not. Anybody can be an excellent "technical" whip master however, they could not dominate an old dog, retired from obedience training.
As another dominant has written, CM has not really given the proper room/space and or perhaps consideration of how diverse the lifestyle has become. But, as most will admit -- "Sex sells." We all can't pick up a BDSM film, book or reference without sex shoved into our faces. This is why I do not buy any books, BDSM films. Sex is a draw but, for me and so many others, we aren't all about "sex"--we are human beings that seek a dignified acceptance, respect, appreciation for our chosen roles. But, as I digress in memories, the lifestyle was not wrapped around sex but, how I/we may help another?
It is my belief, that people's individual "spirit of intent" determines if the approach and or the use of any site offered as a means to form a group and or community, will serve from the original spirit of purpose on creating a site in the first place. Once a site is launched the people who make it "a vehicle" gives it a different "life" as to, perhaps; the original intent.
Humans are the best manipulators on the earth. This is why those who resist allowing the worst of our nature take hold and forever strive to keep our best of our nature have the worst time of it. Our worst of our nature is so easy to surrender to and it is a struggle to remain on the good side. This is where, the lifestyle (to me alone) helped keep the best/good of our/my nature in the front, as to mute the more powerful traits of humanity.
Those who seek to serve, have a high calling, to which few will ever have the strength, the intent, the endurance to maintain. This is why service slaves are so rare and are rarer still, as years past; as they are treated like useless antiques. Yet, to me--it is a noble calling, to which allows the slave to present a dominant as something they package for public consumption and or, to present as a representation of what can be, could be and or may be through inspiration and not by fitting into the public's perception of what is "true" M/s, D/s, BDSM and or S&M.
Perhaps the major frustration, is the inability for old fashioned M/s minded individuals, to separate ourselves from the kinky sex culture and or the recreational BDSM culture.
My personal joy, when having a service slave in my household, is having someone being my guard, steward/butler, representative and the gentleman who frees me from chores, as to focus myself on how to lift my service slave into a joyful relationship, where serving is not a chore but, pleasure--as all things he touches, is merely an extention of me. So, he touches me at all times and I him. He is not a sex toy--but a sensitive being, with human needs, wants and dreams. My duty is, how may I be of service to him, as to reach those dreams.
Therefore, those who have no focus or dreams, really have no direction as to start the journey and until they find their guide, all individuals just want to be embraced and accepted. Just their methods are skewed and say things that people seemingly want to hear, rather than saying what seasoned individuals need to hear.
So, LoganStrange -- it is not you. If nobody knows what is, how can they seek honestly. If they do not have a history to learn from, how can any appreciate and or embrace history and to honor the tradition. If nobody knows what use to be an honorable style of life, how can they expect to be inspired by it.
Have courage and be of the standard you are and or carry.
Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs
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