RE: How Many Strikes?

RE: How Many Strikes? (Full Version)

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LadyPact -> RE: How Many Strikes? (7/10/2010 7:07:05 PM)
quote: I do. Not everyone with as strong a bias against something is unteachable or unreachable. I'd rather he was in a position to learn, and hopefully modify his bias someday, from the benefit of having interacted with those he once felt so strongly against. Actually, it would be My opinion that moderation does exactly that. There isn't a thing that prevents a moderated person from reading the boards and learning from them. Something like the old adage of being given two ears and one mouth for a reason. It may even encourage learning, because the moderation no longer allows that person to be immediately disruptive. Comments that aren't specifically designed to disrupt get approved when a Mod is able to get to them and ones that follow the pattern that got them moderated in the first place get pulled.

JstAnotherSub -> RE: How Many Strikes? (7/10/2010 7:35:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: submissivemale22 quote: ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub I think VAA said this was gonna be an un-moderated thread. I am sure if I am mistaken I will find out soon enough-lol. I think that engaging 22 and expecting him to respond differently or better or more intellegently is akin to throwing ice on the retarded kids at school as they walk by, or making fun of them and then being surprised when they cry and get upset and kick and throw things and act in a way we, the smart cool kids, would never act. wow. analogizing might not be your thing, but at least you still have humility. Well sugar, we all have our good points and our bad points.

Jeffff -> RE: How Many Strikes? (7/10/2010 8:27:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff Shouldn't you be asleep? Where is my jersey? (in reply to domiguy) Do you always respond to people in this manner? Why must you blurt things out...What are you talking about? have you gone mad? My last post to this thread was made yesterday, 7-9-10, at 4:41 pm. http://www.collarchat.com/m_3302335/mpage_15/key_/tm.htm#3303779 I can predict things that happen. It can be disconcerting.

submissivemale22 -> RE: How Many Strikes? (7/12/2010 10:24:10 AM)
you know, despite my dissension from a fair number of the judgments rendered, i honestly do appreciate all who participated in this thread- i wanted an honest appraisal, and you provided it. the angst directed at me seems to overwhelmingly stem from my commentary regarding male doms/sadism, so let me take a moment to address these concerns: when i arrived here, i was quite vocal in letting everyone know my complete disdain for all men who beat females. i tossed around labels like 'abusive' and 'bully', and generally portrayed them in the worst kind of light. now, if you picked up on the usage of the past tense in the preceding paragraph, it wont surprise you to learn that i don't presently hold this belief... what might however surprise you is that i never truly did. in reality, as uncomfortable as the idea of females being hurt made me personally, it was easily squared morally- i always recognized the distinction between someone participating in a consensual act and someone who acts unilaterally. the complication however was that i suspected a high incidence of coercion* to be taking place, under which males would use intimidation and force to extract the response that they desire. obviously this is not true consent by any standard, and i thought by qualifying my comments in a way that acknowledged a difference in consent vs. non consent, the most grievous of offenders would slip through the cracks. i was 'ok' with exposing 'innocent' male doms to this collateral damage for a few reasons- foremost was that i suspected it to be a very small percentage. philosophically speaking, i couldnt reconcile how any submissive would be motivated by pain, so my (fatally flawed) extrapolation was that the vast majority of the people engaging in this behavior were not so much doms as they were people who were manipulators- creeps who abuse the physically weaker. in retrospect, i was out of bounds here. in observing posts and talking with others, i now recognize that there are a good number of people who very much want this kind of interaction, and far be it from me to place judgment on them or attempt to impede their pursuit of happiness. so, to everyone who was offended by these remarks, you have my complete and unequivocal apology. i justified a lot of my conduct on the basis that i didn't attack personally (with limited exceptions), however by attacking a deeply rooted characteristic that many people here identify with, it occurs to me that i may have committed a far greater wrong. a suspicion that was seemingly affirmed in a thread that VaguelyCurious* started on the Submissive board, in which many female respondents answered that they don't get pleasure from the pain, but that they consent to it as it is something that they see as pleasing to their partner.

ZeIda -> RE: How Many Strikes? (7/14/2010 8:11:03 PM)
Too little too late...

VaguelyCurious -> RE: How Many Strikes? (7/15/2010 3:32:57 AM)
nm. I know, I know, don't engage.

LadyPact -> RE: How Many Strikes? (7/15/2010 8:11:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: submissivemale22 in retrospect, i was out of bounds here. in observing posts and talking with others, i now recognize that there are a good number of people who very much want this kind of interaction, and far be it from me to place judgment on them or attempt to impede their pursuit of happiness. so, to everyone who was offended by these remarks, you have my complete and unequivocal apology. i justified a lot of my conduct on the basis that i didn't attack personally (with limited exceptions), however by attacking a deeply rooted characteristic that many people here identify with, it occurs to me that i may have committed a far greater wrong. I was thinking of starting a separate thread this morning on this subject. The problem is that it isn't especially BDSM related and even though I want the topic to get as much exposure as possible, I'm not especially sure that I can tie it in to something revolving around bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism. In My opinion, you did do a far greater wrong. Some of those people that you personally attacked, who you felt were worth slandering by calling abusers and such, that you thought were acceptable losses, were nothing of the sort. They were people living this lifestyle who actually have good experiences with their partners in M/s or D/s dynamics. Due to the way you behaved and the personal insults you threw, they got silenced and treated in a way that wasn't justified. Now, that may not seem like a big deal, but let Me explain to you the effect that it has. You came here, raised a bunch of hell, and created this mess. The result of which is that fewer people who have knowledge about this are here. Don't forget that, in the meantime, there are more and more people (like you) who have little to no experience in this coming here everyday. When there are fewer people here who know what they are doing in all of this, there are fewer voices to help new people based on knowledge. Instead, there are more people answering questions from the fantasy or outright false point of view. Not everybody coming here has any source of information other than this place. When they get the wrong data, some of which you were slinging about, feigning ignorance for it later, they think the lies are the reality. You did nothing but perpetuate that cycle. Some of which, can actually be dangerous. What's going to be left here for people when folks like you come along and create this situation? The people you insulted and personally attacked aren't here to read your apology. At this point, I'm not even sure they are coming back. If they don't, the scales will be tipped even worse and the people who don't have good advice to share will fill threads with answers based on whatever they have created in their heads that they think sounds good when they typed it up on the screen. You played a pivotal part in a disservice to this site and I hope you get the depth of the ramifications.

submissivemale22 -> RE: How Many Strikes? (7/15/2010 8:13:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious nm. I know, I know, don't engage. the post i made is an entirely legitimate one. your lack of a substantive response is noted. quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I was thinking of starting a separate thread this morning on this subject. The problem is that it isn't especially BDSM related and even though I want the topic to get as much exposure as possible, I'm not especially sure that I can tie it in to something revolving around bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism. In My opinion, you did do a far greater wrong. Some of those people that you personally attacked, who you felt were worth slandering by calling abusers and such, that you thought were acceptable losses, were nothing of the sort. They were people living this lifestyle who actually have good experiences with their partners in M/s or D/s dynamics. Due to the way you behaved and the personal insults you threw, they got silenced and treated in a way that wasn't justified. Now, that may not seem like a big deal, but let Me explain to you the effect that it has. You came here, raised a bunch of hell, and created this mess. The result of which is that fewer people who have knowledge about this are here. Don't forget that, in the meantime, there are more and more people (like you) who have little to no experience in this coming here everyday. When there are fewer people here who know what they are doing in all of this, there are fewer voices to help new people based on knowledge. Instead, there are more people answering questions from the fantasy or outright false point of view. Not everybody coming here has any source of information other than this place. When they get the wrong data, some of which you were slinging about, feigning ignorance for it later, they think the lies are the reality. You did nothing but perpetuate that cycle. Some of which, can actually be dangerous. What's going to be left here for people when folks like you come along and create this situation? The people you insulted and personally attacked aren't here to read your apology. At this point, I'm not even sure they are coming back. If they don't, the scales will be tipped even worse and the people who don't have good advice to share will fill threads with answers based on whatever they have created in their heads that they think sounds good when they typed it up on the screen. You played a pivotal part in a disservice to this site and I hope you get the depth of the ramifications. i apologized because i think i was wrong on the principle of the issue, but i think you are dramatically overstating the impact of my postings. your claim that fewer people are here as a result is baseless speculation. in fact, the converse would seem much more likely to me- controversial topics often compel previously silent users to contribute their voice to the debate.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: How Many Strikes? (7/15/2010 8:56:38 AM)
I have absolutely no idea what either of you are talking about. I totally missed both of these apparent rows. I take this as proof of my words when I said somewhere above that I was not one of the cool kids. People have gone?!?

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