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New and unsure - 7/9/2010 12:31:15 AM   
lalleee


Posts: 36
Joined: 7/8/2010
Status: offline 		I am new to this. I accidently found out one night that I liked being handled rough. Met this guy, was high and drunk and don't exactly remember how it went, but he took me to bed and asked me "Tell me, how do you like it?" I had no idea what to tell him and just said thoughtlessly "Why don't you tell me what to do?" At the time, I had no idea what was going on. wasn't even aware of D/S thing existing but lack of experience and mind, did what was told. The details are hazy but I remember being tossed, turned and called a bitch. He grabbed me roughly, put his hand on my throat and pulled my hair hard.

Recently, tried asking for the things I wanted. I've been asking to slap me. It's not easy asking this to one nighters and I always shock them. They do double take and ask me "You want what?" "Really?" So I ask them if they are into things like that. And they always say no. They respect women, and violence is not a turn on, etc. But they always end up getting into it, even more so than me. I'm tired of asking for it though. and they don't really do things well. I don't know what I like is just rough sex or D/S. Power play? But for sure, not into hardcore shit. Not into real pain or humiliation or letting man control my life or anything. But very curious and love to learn more.


Profile   Post #: 1
RE: New and unsure - 7/9/2010 12:44:08 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Welcome and have fun! 

Stick around and read the boards... lots of information.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to lalleee)
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RE: New and unsure - 7/9/2010 4:20:59 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

Met this guy, was high and drunk and don't exactly remember how it went................I had no idea what was going on...........The details are hazy but I remember being tossed, turned and called a bitch. He grabbed me roughly, put his hand on my throat and pulled my hair hard.


Oh my dear...read what you wrote again and thank the heavens you survived.
There is a HUGE danger in playing while under the influence with someone you are familiar with. Playing under the influence with a stranger is nothing short of stupid. Please don't do it again!

That said...welcome to CM and play safe!!!


_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to lalleee)
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RE: New and unsure - 7/9/2010 4:22:41 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Welcome. You are a bedroom submissive, curious whether your submission extends past the bedroom.

Please be careful. There are some men that may not be safe


Again, welcome!

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: New and unsure - 7/9/2010 6:07:01 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I just thought I'd add that there is something very important - control.  When you submit to a man, you are handling control over to him.  That takes a tremendous amount of trust.

A good Dom is in control of himself, especially as he is topping.  I'm a pretty light Dom, so I stick to spanking/paddling, nipple clamps, etc.  Some are into cutting, needle play, whips, breath play, etc.  They spend a lot of time learning how to do these things right, so they can create a lot of pain but no harm.

Your situation is that you are giving control to men with no experience, who may not have control at all.  Even slapping can cause facial bruises that are hard to explain.

If you want kink, look in the kink community.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: New and unsure - 7/9/2010 6:57:18 AM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline 		The first thing that popped out at me was that you were drunk and high. And went home with a stranger. Now that's your business, but that behaviour is sooooooooooo dangerous. Keep yourself clearheaded, find local munches in your area, and try to figure out exactly what it is you want. As sunshine stated, read the forums you'll get a lot of information, some good, some not so good, but you'll have to figure that out for yourself.

Play hard and PLAY SAFE. Good luck and welcome.

_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".


(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: New and unsure - 7/9/2010 8:44:36 AM   
SirsJewel


Posts: 696
Joined: 3/23/2010
Status: offline 		Welcome, let me just add that one nighters suck as a rule. You don't know the other well enough to be asking to be hit, roughed about or any of the"shit" you might very well crave on down the road. Read, think about why it turns you on and join a chat possibly here to speak to others. There is no box to put yourself in for now - you like a bit of kink with the guy as a "Top" or in charge, and it's fun and exhilerating being naughty at this point. Just don't be dumb asking guys to smack you around drunk, that will land you in the ER or with a nasty STD possibly. No one is judging you by the way,W/we are glad you found U/us,now it's time to learn about what makes you wet and what makes you tick.enjoy~ jewels

_____________________________

God grant me the serenity to accept people for who they are and not whom i wish they could be ~ jewels

(in reply to lalleee)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: New and unsure - 7/9/2010 10:32:22 PM   
lalleee


Posts: 36
Joined: 7/8/2010
Status: offline 		Thanks for the advices. But no, the situation wasn't dangerous. It was an afterhour thing. Two of my friends and his friend were hanging out in the house. Never had scary moment with one nighters. I rather wish I'd get the taste of it. The men I've met are really tame. The places I go are too refined, I guess. Where do I find these beaters? At truck stops?
Isn't meeting someone through web even more dangerous than picking one up in a bar or club?

(in reply to SirsJewel)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: New and unsure - 7/10/2010 9:58:53 AM   
SirsJewel


Posts: 696
Joined: 3/23/2010
Status: offline 		Not at all. i will give you some basic internet dating safety advice i had lived by. Chat a week min. before exchanging phone numbers,private callers do not get answered,he calls me first and his i.d. better be the name he has given me. Flip on the cams and see who you really are to avoid the one pic,oh gawd that wasn't him thing. Doesn't mean you have to get freaky on it either,and oh if he says sorry don't have one, well go get one they're cheap and if he makes excuses,guess what, Married! and walk away is my thoughts most likely.
At any point if you feel "funny" asking for things,slow downnnnnn. If you can fuk him,you can ask for I.D. and of course condoms to be used. i have a six week rule. if he's hung in there with the calls and chatting,then let's meet. That's alot of freeeeeee dating and money should be saved to get to you to meet up. If he cries broke now,where will that go? Meet at a public place and have two safetys in place. One that can physically get to you should a problem arise(car breakdown even) and one you call when you arrive and possibly have call you during the date to check your okay. Mine is State Police officer,so i was good. Now this is for a relationship possibility. You want a fling or to meet at a munch(meetings in the area that discuss lifestyle) or a screw it's your call. Make your needs/wants/curiosities known as you chat. Never list long hard limits,you would be surprised how your taste changes when trust develops with the right person. Read,join a chat like Passions_for_submission in the chat listings and most of all have fun finding out more. There are no right and wrong ways to go about this so long as it's consentual,sane and safe. Best of luck, let me know how your doing sometime ~ jewels

< Message edited by SirsJewel -- 7/10/2010 10:01:08 AM >

_____________________________

God grant me the serenity to accept people for who they are and not whom i wish they could be ~ jewels

(in reply to lalleee)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: New and unsure - 7/13/2010 7:11:28 AM   
lalleee


Posts: 36
Joined: 7/8/2010
Status: offline 		Excellent excellent advice. Just what I needed.
Thank you Jewels.


(in reply to SirsJewel)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: New and unsure - 7/13/2010 8:52:01 AM   
Apocalypso


Posts: 1104
Joined: 4/20/2009
Status: offline 		Welcome to the board.

I know you're probably sick of talking about the drugs/drink issue, so I hope these short points don't feel like a lecture.  They're not supposed to.

One major problem with you playing blitzed is that, as well as lowering inhibitions, it's likely to increase your pain tolerance.  That's a bad thing in this case.  Because you're new, you're currently unaware of your own limits.  And anybody you play with certainly doesn't have a clue.  So it could lead to you pushing your body further than you actually should be.  You're also mixing and that makes the effects of drugs far less predictable.  Finally, there's something some people get called "sub drop", where they get down after play.  If that happens to you, you don't want to be dealing with a comedown or a hangover at the same time.

I'd strongly advise that you shoudn't be playing when high/drunk.  If you're going to ignore that, you need to at least think a lot more carefully about how you're going about it.  (And, for the record, I'm Hunter S Thompson compared to most people on this forum as far as this issue goes).


_____________________________

If you're going to quote from the Book of Revelation,
Don't keep calling it the "Book of Revelations",
There's no "s", it's the Book of Revelation,
As revealed to Saint John the Divine.

(in reply to lalleee)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: New and unsure - 7/13/2010 9:05:47 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Sorry, but I'm going to disagree with part of the advice listed on this thread.  People have been hitting the clubs and doing meet and beats (an possibly going home to screw each other afterward) for a hell of a lot longer than the silly, fantasy, bullshit driven chat rooms have been around.  I've got a heck of a lot more faith in somebody that I see week after week at a BDSM club than I do somebody on the internet that I have never seen in the flesh who says they know what they are doing. 

If you want to meet people who are into this, OP, I'd suggest that you go out and meet them.  Not piss around in some chat room, hoping that somebody is who they say they are.  Go to your local munch and play parties where you can see for yourself if somebody is interested in the same things as you are.

Welcome to the boards.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Apocalypso)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: New and unsure - 7/13/2010 12:18:02 PM   
SirsJewel


Posts: 696
Joined: 3/23/2010
Status: offline 		Youre welcome,let me know how you are doing sometime please ~ jewels

_____________________________

God grant me the serenity to accept people for who they are and not whom i wish they could be ~ jewels

(in reply to lalleee)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: New and unsure - 7/13/2010 2:02:34 PM   
MichiganHeadmast


Posts: 726
Joined: 8/13/2006
Status: offline 		Welcome!

My first name is Larry, and when I visited Korea I got called "lallee" a lot. 

(in reply to lalleee)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: New and unsure - 7/20/2010 4:18:32 AM   
lalleee


Posts: 36
Joined: 7/8/2010
Status: offline 		haha, there is a thing called 'meet and beat'? Fantastic.
Thank you both for your advices Hunter S Thompson and Lady Pact. Will keep in mind.

(in reply to MichiganHeadmast)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: New and unsure - 7/20/2010 4:20:31 AM   
lalleee


Posts: 36
Joined: 7/8/2010
Status: offline 		Love Fear and Loathing Las vegas

(in reply to lalleee)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: New and unsure - 7/20/2010 5:02:35 AM   
OohAahMrs


Posts: 7723
Joined: 7/14/2010
Status: offline 		I don't think this is the right place for you.

_____________________________

You may choc the choc.........Oh forget it......

(in reply to lalleee)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: New and unsure - 7/20/2010 5:34:56 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OohAahMrs

I don't think this is the right place for you.


Where you going to give us a reason for this?


_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to OohAahMrs)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: New and unsure - 7/20/2010 7:17:47 AM   
OohAahMrs


Posts: 7723
Joined: 7/14/2010
Status: offline 		Nope.

_____________________________

You may choc the choc.........Oh forget it......

(in reply to thishereboi)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: New and unsure - 7/20/2010 7:28:08 AM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OohAahMrs
I don't think this is the right place for you.

This could very well have been the response to your Introduction as well.
This is the worst thing that can be said to someone who is curious about herself
and her feelings. I only hope she see's your comment as ignorant as I do.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to OohAahMrs)
Profile   Post #: 20
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