RE: For the guys needing to be "discreet"...

RE: For the guys needing to be "discreet"... (Full Version)

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BoiJen -> RE: For the guys needing to be "discreet"... (7/9/2010 4:26:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cloudboy Boy, you added a lot to the world with that one. My world is complete now that you've acknowledged my contribution to the betterment of mankind. quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 quote: ORIGINAL: OttersSwim As Lady P said on the Three Things topic, it is sad that people need to be -told- that cheating and lying is wrong and called out on their behavior. Seems like that would have been covered in Kindergarten along with "don't litter" and "don't mark the walls with crayon". Perhaps, but somewhere on that thread should also be, "random bashing of total strangers is unbecoming" The problem here is that pointing out character flaws individuals' readily admit to having isn't "bashing". "Bashing" is harping on some bullshit reason to condemn someone's character. Sharing an opinion about character flaws that have been admitted to is just conversation. If someone doesn't want to hear those opinions, as they'll run into said opinions, maybe they should work on correcting their character flaws instead of expecting other individuals to lower their standards and expectations of ethical behavior. boi

VaguelyCurious -> RE: For the guys needing to be "discreet"... (7/9/2010 4:44:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cloudboy Boy, you added a lot to the world with that one. Well she made me smile. I'd call that a valuable contribution.

BoiJen -> RE: For the guys needing to be "discreet"... (7/9/2010 4:46:45 PM)
HA! My true contribution is recognized... lol

DianeB269 -> RE: For the guys needing to be "discreet"... (7/9/2010 4:54:00 PM)
This is a very good thread...Good work BoiJen... Diane

PeonForHer -> RE: For the guys needing to be "discreet"... (7/9/2010 4:58:28 PM)
Boijen, As a matter of interest, why do those men who come to see Ms Kitty even mention that they're married? Don't they take off their wedding rings? Or do they honestly believe that it won't matter to Ms K one way or another? It all seems rum to me.

BoiJen -> RE: For the guys needing to be "discreet"... (7/9/2010 5:14:35 PM)
This isn't really about that but to answer...I have no idea why they think they can get away with it. She is clear that certain level of professionalism is used when dealing with a client base but as far as personal situations, She turns them away the minute She hears they're married. As for the flakes who don't show up the begin with but have some lames ass excuse as to why...She blocks them immediately with a short message explaining why. Hopefully for some of them, they'll learn...though, She of course realizes the likelihood is slim to none. Just like when She politely explained to a rude mother fucker at a play party that there's a certain level of community standards expected in terms of protocol of don't touch without asking.... His explanation? "But I'm a fetishist.... I'm not really into the lifestyle. I don't adhere to the same rules as everybody else here." boi

peppermint -> RE: For the guys needing to be "discreet"... (7/9/2010 5:27:34 PM)
That they want to cheat doesn't bother me. What irks me to no end is that they come here to a kink site to do their cheating. They have this idea that if you are kinky you have no moral values.

mstrj69 -> RE: For the guys needing to be "discreet"... (7/9/2010 5:30:01 PM)
As a side comment, for a couple of years after my divorce I continued to wear my wedding ring. It seemed to get me approached by more females than not wearing it. So how is it handled in this case where he has a ring on but says he is divorced? SHould he be believed or turned away?

PeonForHer -> RE: For the guys needing to be "discreet"... (7/9/2010 6:27:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BoiJen This isn't really about that but to answer...I have no idea why they think they can get away with it. She is clear that certain level of professionalism is used when dealing with a client base but as far as personal situations, She turns them away the minute She hears they're married. I guess they might think, 'Well, she's a pro-domme, therefore a professional rather than a woman offering a relationship - so why would my marital status even matter to her, any more than it would to, say, a masseuse?' Do you think that explains some of it, at least? I could imagine some guys being kind of simple and overly black-and-white on that point.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: For the guys needing to be "discreet"... (7/9/2010 7:32:50 PM)
Just because it's all black and white to THEM doesn't make it so for me. I wish I had a dollar for all the men over the last decade alone who have given me the "she lost interest in sex" line. I'd be buying every CMer in the UK a cream tea. I am a middle aged lady, and I am gearing up for the glory of menopause (hasten the day!). If I woke up with some kind of monster change in myself like HEY!! R just chewed on my neck and I didn't feel ANYTHING! you better BELIEVE I would get to the heart of it. What kind of woman with any kind of sexual or affectionate attachment to her partner wouldn't feel that way? There are many reasons for staying in a bad marriage. There are consequences good and bad. We have to live with our choices. I am sure that there are married women out there running around on their husbands, perhaps all those sneaks should hook up? In response to Peon's scenario about the "magical meeting": of course I agree with Otters. Sure, you can have an awakening, but why were you even LOOKING for that other person? It feels shifty from all sides.

DemonKia -> RE: For the guys needing to be "discreet"... (7/9/2010 8:35:23 PM)
There's this place where this extra-relationship 'adultery' thing can turn people into fungible goods, interchangeable pleasure widgets. That's, I think, one of the big moral / ethical quicksand pits in the 'cheating' meme . . . . It becomes not about that dyad & their relationship, but a narcissistic thing about the fooling-around-er only. The cheater's needs, desires, wants, feelings, & etc consume the relationship & leave no room for anyone else but that pleasure-seeker-at-all-costs, from the perspective of there-is-something-wrong-with-this-relationship . . .. . That's a rather untenable position to maintain & it's probably easier to do the cognitive flip to everything's-fine on a day-to-day unless & until some critical mass is reached . . .... Big huge thematics here, actual individual data points of course vary widely & are far more complex outside of these theoretical hypotheticals . .. .

LadyHibiscus -> RE: For the guys needing to be "discreet"... (7/9/2010 8:58:50 PM)
I love that word, FUNGIBLE. I also dig MENISCUS. This is why I love Kia, she reminds me of good things.

Tantriqu -> RE: For the guys needing to be "discreet"... (7/9/2010 9:08:43 PM)
I have three questions/tasks for men who say they're single but recently divorced: one of them is about chastity devices: good men lick their eyebrows then ask about the logistics [right answer]. Bad boys physically shrink and gulp and suddenly look at their watches and slink back to their wives, ne'er to be seen [by me] again.

theGuideGoddess -> RE: For the guys needing to be "discreet"... (7/9/2010 9:11:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 quote: ORIGINAL: OttersSwim As Lady P said on the Three Things topic, it is sad that people need to be -told- that cheating and lying is wrong and called out on their behavior. Seems like that would have been covered in Kindergarten along with "don't litter" and "don't mark the walls with crayon". Perhaps, but somewhere on that thread should also be, "random bashing of total strangers is unbecoming" Yes, but some strangers deserve bashing....don't you think? Especially those “discreet” types who's behavior is extremely unbecoming....bring the sadist out in me every time. I like to get in touch with their wives. I let them know I will up front in all fairness. Give them a ‘beating’ they will never forget. TGG TGG

leadership527 -> RE: For the guys needing to be "discreet"... (7/9/2010 9:14:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BoiJen The problem here is that pointing out character flaws individuals' readily admit to having isn't "bashing". Yeah, it was stupid of me to come into the "Men suck forum" and bitch about yet another "men suck" post.

MissAsylum -> RE: For the guys needing to be "discreet"... (7/9/2010 9:18:10 PM)
i'd say you've hit the nail on the head. as with many people on here, i get messages from the married folk who for some reason believe engaging in kink with somebody who is not your partner is ok. i get it the worse by being a pro domme. like your example almost perfectly, when i first joined this site, a rather disgruntled man said, " why do you give a flying fuck if i'm married? i don't want you to be my girlfriend and i wont leave my wife for you. i just want you to fuck me up the ass." i stared at the screen for a solid 5 minutes after reading that.

WyldHrt -> RE: For the guys needing to be "discreet"... (7/9/2010 9:29:02 PM)
quote: Yeah, it was stupid of me to come into the "Men suck forum" and bitch about yet another "men suck" post. I didn't read the OP that way, I read it more like 'liars and guys who cheat on their wives suck'. That said, I don't think any of the ladies who have agreed would be any happier with a wife cheating on her husband.

LadyPact -> RE: For the guys needing to be "discreet"... (7/9/2010 9:34:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WyldHrt quote: Yeah, it was stupid of me to come into the "Men suck forum" and bitch about yet another "men suck" post. I didn't read the OP that way, I read it more like 'liars and guys who cheat on their wives suck'. That said, I don't think any of the ladies who have agreed would be any happier with a wife cheating on her husband. Agreed. I won't speak for anybody else, but I think I'm rather consistent on this issue. I haven't given anybody a free pass in the same situation just because they are female.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: For the guys needing to be "discreet"... (7/9/2010 9:38:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 quote: ORIGINAL: BoiJen The problem here is that pointing out character flaws individuals' readily admit to having isn't "bashing". Yeah, it was stupid of me to come into the "Men suck forum" and bitch about yet another "men suck" post. Thanks, Jeff. I appreciate hearing that view.

BoiJen -> RE: For the guys needing to be "discreet"... (7/9/2010 10:13:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 quote: ORIGINAL: BoiJen The problem here is that pointing out character flaws individuals' readily admit to having isn't "bashing". Yeah, it was stupid of me to come into the "Men suck forum" and bitch about yet another "men suck" post. Were you at the Ramrod tonight watching that too?! Shoulda introduced yourself when you heard the guys yelling "Jen!!" boi By the way...bitches who cheat on their husbands are still bitches no matter how they justify it. However, given that I'm inclined toward the D-types Women of a subculture, they're less likely to cheat...more so I find them being open and honest about what they want and issuing ultimatums to whatever individuals they're with. But that kinda thing should have no bearing on distinguishing which sex posts like this are geared toward.

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