RE: Body Imperfections?

RE: Body Imperfections? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

ShiftedJewel -> RE: Body Imperfections? (4/16/2006 7:00:11 AM)
I had a step daughter that refused to go barefoot because on each foot her forth toe (the one next to the pinkie toe) was far shorter and had started it's growth further back on her foot the "normal" toes. She was very self conscience about it. It was painfully obvious even at first glance. I talked to her about it and told her that everyone has imperfections... welcome to the human race. The point is that some people show their imperfection physically while others show theirs mentally or emotionally. Nearing the end of the conversation my son came into the room, looked at her feet and yelled "(Name here)....(small hesitation)... YOU HAVE....(another small hesitation here)....FIVE TOES!!!!! I followed that immediately by yelling... "WOW... SO DO I!!!!" She laughed, he laughed and all was better. After that... although this has nothing to do with the topic but it's tooooo funny not to add... My daughter went to school and in PE class she noticed this girl... (ok, she happened to be a blond) was barefoot... so she (my daughter) looked at her feet and said "My God... you have FIVE toes!!!" The girl yelled "NO I DON'T" and pulled her shoes on quickly.... *Seriously though, I'm not looking for the perfect person, just the person that's perfect for me.*

NeedToUseYou -> RE: Body Imperfections? (4/16/2006 7:03:38 AM)
I don't know what you people are talking about. I'm perfect. Well, except, overweight, and hmmmm, I have ugly feet, and ummmm, hairy legs and chest. Better stop now. hehe Well, nevermind. LOL.

dave1212 -> RE: Body Imperfections? (4/16/2006 7:06:11 AM)
Hell we all have some sort of body imperfection's whether it be from medical scarring etc or just something that "we" just don't like about ourself.... My favourite saying is "Dont judge a book by it's cover"..[;)] And in my case ~smiles~ you will have to read at least 6 chapter's [8\|]...

Level -> RE: Body Imperfections? (4/16/2006 7:09:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rayne58 Oh dear, if Master and I cared about the way our bodies look we'd never be together[;)] I have stretch marks and a "tummy" from two babies. He has scars all over His body from the itching skin people with kidney failure get. He had a catheter in His tummy, plus a pot belly from holding in dialysis fluid for the past 4 years. He used to be a pretty husky guy, but His disease has wasted His muscles. I don't see all that, never did. I see a strong gentle caring Man who loves me. He doesn't see my stretch marks or tummy either, He sees me the woman who loves Him. We were friends online before we became lovers, or even Master and sub. He never knew what I looked like until we started to fall in love, and I sent Him my picture. I knew His face, but not what His body looked like. That first time I saw Him nude I do admit I was a little shocked but only for a moment and when I felt His touch for the first time I forgot all about it[:)] Rayne, you just about brought tears to my eyes. Good thoughts to you both. Level

LaTigresse -> RE: Body Imperfections? (4/16/2006 7:21:18 AM)
This forum thread is a beautiful balance to another on here that is 180 degrees oposite...something about racism. As long as the good energy keeps outweighing the bad I refuse to lose hope for the human race.

Tikkiee -> RE: Body Imperfections? (4/16/2006 7:27:20 AM)
I think that I am going to be the odd person out here, but I am superficial enough to care about how a person looks. A person who takes care of themselves; mentally, emotionally, and physically; is going to get a second look from me before that of someone who does not.

Level -> RE: Body Imperfections? (4/16/2006 7:27:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse This forum thread is a beautiful balance to another on here that is 180 degrees oposite...something about racism. As long as the good energy keeps outweighing the bad I refuse to lose hope for the human race. Well said, LaTigresse. It gets tough sometimes to keep faith in our little species, though. [8\|]

puella -> RE: Body Imperfections? (4/16/2006 8:22:34 AM)
The very plain fact of the matter is that we are shaped in many ways by or society and what that society has deemed appropriate. Beauty does not transcend this. What is beautiful (for the most part, there are always anomalies) is based upon what the society we live in has approved of as beautiful. Approved of... it is what the people buy into, it is what the people are bombarded with, etc. For instance.. the idea of a beautiful woman in Italy, is very different (or allows for many more differences) than what we allow for here in the United States. A woman of 45 in most cases has more chance of being an attractive and alluring sexual partner than a woman of 20. That is not a concept we can really grasp within our structuralization of beauty here, because a major tenet of what is beautiful is youth. Along with societal conditioning we do have predetermined individual triggers, I believe, of things we just personally find attractive.. call them kinks if you will, because often times they do NOT jive with the main stream ideal of beauty. There is absolutely nothing wrong with knowing what you prefer physically. We all have preferences, and I would argue that even the most jaded and anti-aesthetical person has certain physical traits which can, and do, effect them. The problem is not in having preferences. The problem is in having no control over or understanding of your preference. That will always breed intolerance and the self justification of the castigation of others who do not or can not conform to that ideal. For the majority of my life, I was so unappealing to the opposite sex ( I was 175 lbs over weight, the definitive picture beside the definition of 'nerd' in the dictionary, with giant glasses and stringy hair, etc etc.) as to be rendered asexual. From the point of an 'ugly girl', or 'one not in possession of beauty', you have the vantage of separation to contemplate beauty. Beauty is a very dangerous beast. It is coveted to people (to what extent is arguable, and arguable upon very specific points and stages, I would maintain) both as something we want to be viewed as in possession of, as well as wanting to be in the company and proximity of. "The Beautiful People" is a very real and legitimate echelon in almost every culture. When you do not possess an awful lot of physical beauty, you can both sit back and analyze the beast that it is without involvement, while simultaneously wishing for it with such profoundness, that you can place more value upon it than those who already have it (in terms of beauty of self, or being beautiful). Beauty in our partners (and this is pure opinion on my part) should be nothing more than another bonus in the package or a person, not worth drastically more or drastically less than any other bonus (notice I use the word bonus as opposed to foundation or cornerstone, again.. this is purely opinion on my part). When I use the word beauty here, I am speaking of the physical traits of beauty our society has selected as a cultural ideal...toned, youthful, structurally symmetrical, etc. What our culture, and so many others have lost is the ability to find beauty in what is not the same, that which does not conform. To find a pair of eyes so incredibly lovely in depth and hue, or shape as to be able to find beauty in that person..to find the beauty of hands, to find the beauty of collar bones, the beauty of rounded flesh, etc... sadly, that is not how we look at beauty so much, these days. More often than not it is an all or nothing sort of package. I think there is no problem in being excited by beauty, it is no better or worse than being excited/attracted by any other feature, be it intellect, wit, grace of movement, etc etc... the point where you need to sit back and say.. 'Woah!! Maybe I need to re-evaluate myself and how much I am allowing myself to be manipulated by one desire or one set of societal conditionings', is when you can turn away something that you can recognize would other wise be very precious or nearly everything you could ever want, if only there were more physical beauty on offer. Sure sure every man would love a nymphomaniac Mother Theresa in the body of Jessica Alba with a PHD in... (well anything, probably lol) as a partner (er.. maybe minus the religious orders of course)... but to throw away love or the potential of a beautiful relationship for the sake of a flatter belly or better ass, in my opinion, shows a real lack of strength, maturity and charecter... for it really does take those things to be able to buck the societal 'norm' or 'ideal' programmed within us, and to be able to embrace and teach ourselves some new perspective which we can claim as ours alone, which will lead to a happiness which is individualized to our own memes and ideals.

thetammyjo -> RE: Body Imperfections? (4/16/2006 8:26:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: acctonthelook I often hear on the boards others being insulting of others physical imperfections. I usually look at the person not the body (which is just a shell). We all have some imperfections here and there. Others get imperfections due to rituals, play, medical or health issues, etc. Why is there such criticizm of ppl's bodily imperfections at times? How important is someone's body to you? How does everyone feel about body imperfections when you meet someone new? How does it reflect on whether or not you want to 'play' or develop a meaningful D/s or M/s relationship? Just curious on everyone's thoughts to this subject. You know, I think these "imperfections" are BS. This is part of what makes us each a unique person. I'm not perfect, why would I except someone I'm with to be perfect? Those so-called "perfect bodies" are actually airbrushed or surgically altered and I personally think that they don't look perfect, they look inhuman and weird. Yuck.

akisha -> RE: Body Imperfections? (4/16/2006 9:35:45 AM)
It's corny but true *Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.* we can't be pleasing to all but we are perfect to some and really the rest can go jump in a lake. [&:]

Level -> RE: Body Imperfections? (4/16/2006 10:15:46 AM)
Or, as one saggy boob said to the other, "If we don't get some support soon, people are gonna think we're nuts!" Thanks Sandra lol. Level

Level -> RE: Body Imperfections? (4/16/2006 10:23:10 AM)
Puella, wonderfully said. I really liked how you brought up finding beauty in one's hands, collar bone, etc... not the normal founts of attraction, but why shouldn't they be to some? And let me say that you have rebounded well from your so-called days of "not in possession of beauty". Level

puella -> RE: Body Imperfections? (4/16/2006 10:31:47 AM)
Hehe you are more thank generous, Level. Thank you.

DelightMachine -> RE: Body Imperfections? (4/16/2006 10:47:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: acctonthelook Why is there such criticizm of ppl's bodily imperfections at times? Because a lot of people could improve their looks if they tried harder, including me. Most peolpe could lose weight if they tried harder. We have so much fat hanging off of so many bones in the United States. I think if the criticism is kept general and not pointed at specific people, and if we understand that stress and other health problems sometimes make it more difficult to lose weight, then the criticism is good, but I realize that's not what you're talking about. When someone insults another person for their looks, they're really revealing the ugly character flaws in themselves -- which are often harder to lose than weight. quote: How important is someone's body to you? My mistresses body is very important to me, and I love it unconditionally. My own body is very important to me, and I want to wipe out as many imperfections in it as possible, especially for her. quote: How does everyone feel about body imperfections when you meet someone new? It's always surprised me that it doesn't matter in the least to me. With strangers, it matters. I'm very affected by beauty of all kinds, and I absolutely love looking at beautiful bodies. I dislike looking at ugly bodies, although sometimes there's a certain fascination with them, and I find any really strange body imperfections fascinating, and if I don't think I'll be caught, I'll stare a bit at them. Once I get to know someone, even if I've previously gotten to know them online, body imperfections just don't matter to me. Personality, character, style -- that just matters so much more, and just maybe it matters more as I've gotten older (not sure about that). It's like when you're driving alone in a car without a phone or radio on, you concentrate on the road, outside the car, but if you're driving with a friend, you concentrate much more on the conversation than the driving -- and I wish to hell when you're driving with a friend you'd get out of the far left lane on the highway so I could pass you, by the way and stay off the damn phone if you're going to be in the left lane, will ya? But I digress. quote: How does it reflect on whether or not you want to 'play' or develop a meaningful D/s or M/s relationship? Play? It doesn't matter in the least what they look like. Often it's my ass they're working on and I can't see them anyway. Their safety consciousness and ability in a scene matter much more. And in terms of service, there's really no difference at all in the Domme's physical form -- it's her character that matters. I think that beauty probably matters much less to a submissive man than to a man in a vanilla relationship. Not absolutely sure about that, though. Large women (or, I assume, large men) can't do some things in bed quite as nimbly as small, fit women can, but they compensate in the old cliche: "there's more of her to love." There is something nice in a lot of soft flesh, and don't disagree with that until you've tried it. It's a somewhat different kind of sex, not the idealized version you get in the movies or in books (although I guess there's a porn for every taste). But I was surprised to discover making love to a BBW is just as good -- yes, really -- as with a thin woman. And it's better if the woman is more accomplished in the arts of sex and seduction. And if you have feelings for her, it's better still. And if she's a great Domme, then it's even better still. So a lot of things eclipse weight. If my BBW Mistress and I went to a BDSM club full of hired models clad in leather (or unclad), I would certainly appreciate the scenery, but the most beautiful woman there, and the one my eyes would be on, is my Big Beautiful Woman Mistress, who's got the softest skin and the most erotic libido of any woman I know. And I just love her body -- love looking at it, love touching it, love massaging it, love making love to it, love pleasuring it in any way -- because it's hers. I'm a fetishist for a beautiful soul.

CERCKL -> RE: Body Imperfections? (4/16/2006 11:08:47 AM)
quote: I think that I am going to be the odd person out here, but I am superficial enough to care about how a person looks. A person who takes care of themselves; mentally, emotionally, and physically; is going to get a second look from me before that of someone who does not. I can understand that...no insult but you appear a lot younger than a lot of those posting responses here...differences in perception. Even physically attractive is subjective between individuals though. When I was younger, I never took care of myself physically; I used a lot of drugs, drank a lot, a helluva lot...I was 5'8" and rarely weighed 100# still the sheer intensity of my personality, intellectual curiosity, seeking, creativity drew people whom I thought was a lot more attractive than myself to me. I used to state to confused friends that there was a certain romance to being tragic...at least in my early twenties... Then and even more so now I recognize that who people are affects there physical beauty; how they carry themselves, how they interact, getting to know them, they can become more desirable, erotic...granted, I've known some who there is no connection, partly because of physical but it takes little physically for me to feel a connectdness with one whom I have a connection on other levels... As for myself, I still see myself as plain, not beautiful, not ugly, just average...physically. I also know I am intense as hell unleashed both positive and dark, creative, intelligent, questioning, curious, sarcastic, biting, loyal, etc, etc... and I still draw others, even though I can usually be found in jeans, Cons and a t-shirt...but I all I care about is lotus remembered me and the look in her eyes, the feel in how she touches me, the interchange of energy, the intermingling of ourselves...that's all I need. C

IronBear -> RE: Body Imperfections? (4/16/2006 12:18:01 PM)
UtopianRanger, Quivver, LaTigresse and twicehappy, Thank you for the complements. The fact is even though i have some disabilities, I'm happy with me. Not complacent mind you i still need to loose a few pounds and try to get muscle tone back and who knows even a six pack abgain but that is for personal pride not for show. hell I'm a cuddle bear for many and that too is good. Some don't like the way I look, their loss and not mine. UtopianRanger ~ A Man I respect and whose posts I always enjoy. Quivver ~ Love you girl. Have got to know you and have you on my list of special people... Luck with the meet lass. LaTigresse and twicehappy ~ two ladies who are definately worth knowing. [:D]

enthralled -> RE: Body Imperfections? (4/16/2006 2:26:14 PM)
I need no other to critique my imperfections. . . I am my own worst critic ~smiles~ enthralled

jamesthehumanrug -> RE: Body Imperfections? (4/16/2006 2:48:07 PM)
dear acc,on the looks, i noted 2 things one if youre used to touching a slim hard fem body then the next one soon after is soft and very tall or muscular ;it takes time to accomodate but you do then it really makes a difference if someones confident and comfortable with their naked body;take a ,ms. universe all crowched down and hard to deal in bed unsure and awkward,compared to a ms sprinkle confident sure handles an audience a whole room ;some can handle 90 ppl some 90 thousand ppl at a time such controll and always comfortable i did the song ,'baby's got back, 'and ',i like big butt,'.... the latter i never would have thot but ,due to the difference in experience ,between the many different body experiences ;where it came down to, just the body exchanges alone ; i could make those songs , with her in mind.... there were a few more songs i did for her and others , too, but....,another time.... ....and,so ya; i got ripped on those mega hits; don't ask; ,but, ya ; attraction in bed is not all body alone, ,and ,your focus can sure change.

Angeligue -> RE: Body Imperfections? (4/16/2006 3:01:58 PM)
I have no problem with people who say they want a hard young body...but really have problems with those that say they don't and then reject a person for not being attrative enough...for me the heart, mind, imagination, and personality are way more important than an attractive body.

Phoenixandnika -> RE: Body Imperfections? (4/16/2006 5:40:46 PM)
If love is blind why is lingirie so popular? (forget who said this) The reality is the united states if becoming a country of over weight people. Disease control says at least 71% of men are overwieght, 60% of women are overweight, and that 33% of our children are overweight. Another harsh reality is we are a very judgemental society. People automatically think if a person is overweight that they eat crap, don't excersice, or are simply lazy. I think it is natural to have things that catch our attention in other people. How many times have you heard people say I am a boob guy, or an ass man, or I like blonds, or I want to do a midget. I think the trouble comes when people forget to use tact and not be rude when someone does not fit their "idel". Myself I love bald heads they frankly make me tingle when I rub. laughs And I had NEVER been involved with a white guy before Phoenix. Now he is as white as casper even for an Italian guy and does not have a bald head.Granted I don't see a bald head fitting him. His head is simply not the right shape to be shiny and exposed. Does that make me love him anyless? No, but I got to know him. He was my friend before we were anything esle. I loved the silly things he would do or say and frankly the bald head wasn't all that important anymore. I think that is alot of the problem. We live in a society where our first impression, our sole impression , our sole focus is often on physical rather than the whole package. Now myself for along time I was very self countious about my appearance. I have excess skin from when I was prego, I have stretch marks on my stomach and breasts, I have a big butt, and when I was on bedrest during my last pregnacy all my muscle turned to something else. laughs However, I have learned to love me for me. I eat healthy, I do some kind of excersice every day and I relized that I have to like myself for anyone else to like me. By the way Bear, I think your handsome and a strong and wonderful man. smiles Nika{Phoenix}

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875