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What does the collar mean ? - 7/12/2010 5:42:52 PM

beccy

Posts: 7
Joined: 5/1/2004
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Hello everyone. My Master has asked me to write an essay on "What the collar means to me". I realise that it is really an individual feeling, but I am trying to do a bit of research (at His suggestion) and would like some feedback from others please. How do you feel when wearing it, when not wearing it, do you think you are more likely to forget instructions if not wearing it, etc.

I also have a lot of trouble getting my thoughts onto paper, does anyone have any suggestions on how to help with this ?

Thankyou :)

Post #: 1

RE: What does the collar mean ? - 7/12/2010 5:52:05 PM

oksubby

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Joined: 7/2/2010
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Hrm... The true slaves I have known (old guard) have told me they are never not wearing their master's collar; it's meerly that sometimes it is not physically present. Of course, the times they are a'changin', but it seems to me that a slave is a slave until they are released, either by their Owner or, of course, through an act of will on their part. From what I've been able to determine, collars aren't easily removed, but they can be broken. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse, but never without consequences.

Just my two bits... I'm eager to hear what others have to say!

(in reply to beccy)

Post #: 2

RE: What does the collar mean ? - 7/12/2010 5:59:55 PM

bulletproof0220

Posts: 2
Joined: 6/27/2010
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A collar is a symbol of a mistress' dominance over her slave. It is a physical reminder of her power over me. It's more psychological than anything. For a human being to wear a collar is a demeaning thing...which is of course, the idea.

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Post #: 3

RE: What does the collar mean ? - 7/12/2010 6:13:35 PM

beccy

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Joined: 5/1/2004
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Thankyou oksubby, i agree that even if i'm not wearing the collar it is still there in my mind, though when the collar is physically on - then i feel closer to Him, even when He's not there.

(in reply to bulletproof0220)

Post #: 4

RE: What does the collar mean ? - 7/12/2010 6:15:02 PM

beccy

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Joined: 5/1/2004
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Thankyou bulletproof, but do you feel any difference when it is physically on ? How would you feel wearing it to work, for example ?

(in reply to beccy)

Post #: 5

RE: What does the collar mean ? - 7/12/2010 6:42:42 PM

OsideGirl

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From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: beccy

How do you feel when wearing it, when not wearing it, do you think you are more likely to forget instructions if not wearing it, etc.

Whether I'm wearing my collar or not has no bearing on any of that.

The biggest impact is that he thought enough of me to give it to me.

And I don't view my collar and demeaning when I'm wearing it. It's an outward symbol of our relationship, just like my wedding ring.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to beccy)

Post #: 6

RE: What does the collar mean ? - 7/12/2010 6:49:49 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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For me it mean I am going to be secured to some pole, wall, fence, ect.. or that my hands will be locked up at my neck. In other words it is for play only. Now.. if you are asking what committment means, it means I have made a decision in my mind to be with one man and no other for as long as we are together.. and probably well beyond.

(in reply to beccy)

Post #: 7

RE: What does the collar mean ? - 7/12/2010 6:53:02 PM

beccy

Posts: 7
Joined: 5/1/2004
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Thankyou OsideGirl. Its interesting that one sees the collar as demeaning and another sees it as a beautiful symbol. Perhaps it depends on the type of collar, whether it is leather or a metal ?

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 8

RE: What does the collar mean ? - 7/12/2010 6:55:33 PM

beccy

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Joined: 5/1/2004
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Missokyst. The collar is a commitment (to me, anyway), i'm trying to ask how people feel when they are actually physically wearing it, not just during play but in everyday life.

(in reply to beccy)

Post #: 9

RE: What does the collar mean ? - 7/12/2010 7:17:52 PM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

There is wearing a collar in everyday life a) in privacy, or b) in public.

Generally, if you wear a collar that looks like a collar to an everyday sort, then you take the risk of inflicting vanillas into your kink. For instance, in the collar in your picture, the loop dangles below the 'necklace' portion, and many people might wonder what you're into.

I don't remember where I saw it, and I've never seen a design online, but SOMEWHERE I saw on a woman in real life before a 'necklace' if you will where the loop was connected to the necklace in the middle. Basically the O-ring was firmer to the neck (roundabout where the Adam's Apple would be on a man), and it didn't dangle at all. It was held in place. In this case, it didn't look at all like a collar (to a vanilla), but it 'screamed' collar to me. It seemed perfect to wear in public and not be suspected by vanillas.

Alas, I only saw it the one time, and several jewelry sites I've searched have nothing of the sort.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to beccy)

Post #: 10

RE: What does the collar mean ? - 7/12/2010 7:35:45 PM

LanceHughes

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Joined: 2/12/2004
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I collared a slave once with words I learned from the Episcopalian Catechism many, many years ago. The original queston was: "What are the Sacraments?" The answer: "The Sacraments are the outward and visible sign of the inward and spiritual Grace." I taught that phrasing to him. I changed it, of course, and made my own addition, to be: "The Collar is nothing more and nothing less than the outward and visible sign of the inward and spiritual Grace."

He was taught to "Recite" upon command when I put my index finger on his collar bone, collar or not.

He wore a chain with lock 24/7 for a 3-month contract. Work? High collars on sweatshirts and the like since the period was Jan. thru March. Summer, can't say because said contract was not renewed.

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 7/12/2010 7:39:01 PM >

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RE: What does the collar mean ? - 7/12/2010 7:46:18 PM

LanceHughes

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>|< which is a new "smilie" for "Message imploded."

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 7/12/2010 7:50:54 PM >

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RE: What does the collar mean ? - 7/12/2010 7:51:33 PM

LanceHughes

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As for public collars, see the first pic on other side for fluffypet61. She wears a collar given to her by her master 24/7. Nice hematite necklace of jewelry quality with extra stones. *I* would recognize the hematite as a possible BDSM symbol. Most would not.

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 7/12/2010 7:56:12 PM >

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

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Post #: 13

RE: What does the collar mean ? - 7/12/2010 7:52:11 PM

MarcEsadrian

Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: beccy

Hello everyone. My Master has asked me to write an essay on "What the collar means to me". I realise that it is really an individual feeling, but I am trying to do a bit of research (at His suggestion) and would like some feedback from others please.

It would seem the two premises of the task he assigned are competing somewhat; it would be simpler, and perhaps more relevant, to keep the focus on what it means to you in wearing a collar. As you say, it's an individual thing, meaning the collar can symbolize anything and everything, but it won't, if you speak from your own perspective and heart. What its historic value or purpose was is fairly easy to conclude, but regardless, all the research—while very interesting and illuminating—pales in comparison to what credence you naturally give it. That is where the real fascinating answer lies.

_____________________________

Omnes una manet nox

Founder, Humbled Females

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Post #: 14

RE: What does the collar mean ? - 7/12/2010 7:57:26 PM

ElanSubdued

Posts: 1511
Status: offline

bulletproof0220,

quote:

For a human being to wear a collar is a demeaning thing...which is of course, the idea.

Not for me. For me, a collar is a two-way symbol and something I wear with great affection and pride. It is my acceptance of my domme's commitment to me and her authority over me, and a visual symbol of the friendship, love and respect I have for her. Conversely, it is her acceptance of my commitment to her and my submission/service to her, and a visual symbol of the friendship, love and respect she has for me. The BDSM equivalent of a wedding ring, except that collars are not exchanged. Instead, a collar is offered by the dominant to the submissive, but the significance still goes both ways. There's a lot more it symbolizes for me too, but this covers the basics.

I'll add... there is more than one kind of collar. The collar I've described above is one of commitment. I've got other collars I wear that are just kinky, wardrobe accessories. I may wear one of these when I go to an event and it symbolizes nothing... well, nothing other than I am kinky.

Elan.

(in reply to bulletproof0220)

Post #: 15

RE: What does the collar mean ? - 7/12/2010 7:59:26 PM

ElanSubdued

Posts: 1511
Status: offline

quote:

MarcEsadrian to beccy:
It would seem the two premises of the task he assigned are competing somewhat; it would be simpler, and perhaps more relevant, to keep the focus on what it means to you in wearing a collar. As you say, it's an individual thing, meaning the collar can symbolize anything and everything, but it won't, if you speak from your own perspective and heart. What its historic value or purpose was is fairly easy to conclude, but regardless, all the research—while very interesting and illuminating—pales in comparison to what credence you naturally give it. That is where the real fascinating answer lies.

+1

E.

(in reply to MarcEsadrian)

Post #: 16

RE: What does the collar mean ? - 7/12/2010 8:25:00 PM

beccy

Posts: 7
Joined: 5/1/2004
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Thankyou Marc. i know how i feel when i put on the collar and (i think) the purpose of the research is to try help me put my thoughts to paper and hear how others feel, to know i am not unusual. Though maybe i am unusual as no-one is really saying how they "feel" when they wear it.

In everything i do during the day my thoughts and actions reflect on Him, He is always spiritually with me, but when i put the collar on to go to bed its like having a warm blanket wrapped around me, cuddling close and keeping me safe and content. i can't wear the collar during the day for various reasons so maybe that is why i get these feelings when i do put it on.

(in reply to MarcEsadrian)

Post #: 17

RE: What does the collar mean ? - 7/12/2010 8:32:21 PM

gungadin09

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Joined: 3/19/2010
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beccy, you are a much better person than i am. When first i wore a collar, i just felt embarrassed. But, then, i barely knew my Master at the time. He just told me to wear it and i did. It was a stupid mistake. i will never take such things lightly again. Kudos to you.

pam

(in reply to beccy)

Post #: 18

RE: What does the collar mean ? - 7/12/2010 8:32:45 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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Beats me. I never needed the symbol. I never even wore a wedding ring after the first year. Symbols are not what I commit to, I commit to the guy and that needs no collar in my world.

You need to decide what it means in your world. Having people tell you about their experience does not do much for defining things in your own heart. What does it mean to you? What does it mean to him? Anyone else's opinion does not belong in your equation.

quote:

ORIGINAL: beccy

Missokyst. The collar is a commitment (to me, anyway), i'm trying to ask how people feel when they are actually physically wearing it, not just during play but in everyday life.

< Message edited by Missokyst -- 7/12/2010 8:36:15 PM >

(in reply to beccy)

Post #: 19

RE: What does the collar mean ? - 7/12/2010 9:32:43 PM

Chrisincuffs

Posts: 602
Joined: 12/7/2009
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The collar I wear 24/7 is not even a collar, it is actually chain bracelets that have no clasp they do not come off. An endless chain. I wear them to remind myself that I love the power I give up to Master. Master did not put my collar on me I put it on myself, I could take it off. I choose not to. I choose to remain bound to him. My pain is his escape as his chains for me are my freedom. I feel whole with them on me and can't see my life any other way.

_____________________________

No kind of sensation is keener and more active than pain it's impressions are unmistakable. -Marquis DeSade

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Post #: 20

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