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RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/16/2010 10:40:11 AM   
BDSMPleasures


Posts: 26
Joined: 4/12/2010
Status: offline 		Hypthetetical... suppose she's in a coma, and has been for 3 years, Drs say no chance of recovery... divorce her insurance is canclled and they pull the plug.. what do you do? is someone then justified staying and going on side in secret.. (protect family, kids etc..) ? If you answer yes.. then there are circumstances conceivable that it is permissible? Then its just a matter of opinion when one thinks its OK.. also a myyare of opinion under what othjer circumstances would be "OK".... ask 10 people.. you'll get 10 different answers... , funny thing is none are wrong.. its their opinion... you're entitled to yours.. I am to mine.

(in reply to smartsub10)
Profile   Post #: 161
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/16/2010 10:40:50 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures

The gray isn't about my desire.. its about my situation that caused me and many, many others to do same...


It is not as gray as you are trying to make it be...

Human beings are great at deluding themselves and justifying whatever actions they desire to take. If they want to shoplift they tell themselves the store marks up merchandise because some people steal. If they want to steal from their boss, they tell themselves they were due for a raise anyways. If they want to cheat on their spouse they tell themselves it is only fair they get their "needs" met, even though by doing so they are depriving their mates of so many things

Your wife believes she has a monogamous husband that is honest and who isn't straying. Instead she has someone that is looking to get his sexual needs met at the expense of their marriage... you are going down a path where you are going to deprive your wife of emotional investment in the marriage, the intimacy that makes a relationship grow, and you are going to give that to another woman just to get your "needs" met...

Well dude, why do you think it is okay to deprive the woman you married and took a vow with of someone that will be emotionally invested in her and be honest with her, and who won't give what she is owed to some chick off of a BDSM site...

Go on with your shades of gray... but it really is black and white, either you are going to become a cheater or you won't... either you are going to have a sexual relationship outside of your marriage, or you aren't... there really is no other shades of gray about it

I pity women with husbands like you, and it riles me when they email me, and they often do.... the jerks

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to BDSMPleasures)
Profile   Post #: 162
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/16/2010 10:41:59 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		You can justify it all you want, but eventually one night, in the middle of the night you're gonna wake up alone and realize what a shitty thing you did.
And you can't go back and change it.

_____________________________



(in reply to BDSMPleasures)
Profile   Post #: 163
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/16/2010 10:43:02 AM   
BDSMPleasures


Posts: 26
Joined: 4/12/2010
Status: offline 		many profiles say looking for "single".. if they do.. I won't try for them.. so what others do is not what I do..

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 164
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/16/2010 10:43:15 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Steady there.... you are ok with me.
You can feel free to stop beating yourself up now.



_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 165
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/16/2010 10:43:32 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures

Hypthetetical... suppose she's in a coma, and has been for 3 years, Drs say no chance of recovery... divorce her insurance is canclled and they pull the plug.. what do you do? is someone then justified staying and going on side in secret.. (protect family, kids etc..) ? If you answer yes.. then there are circumstances conceivable that it is permissible? Then its just a matter of opinion when one thinks its OK.. also a myyare of opinion under what othjer circumstances would be "OK".... ask 10 people.. you'll get 10 different answers... , funny thing is none are wrong.. its their opinion... you're entitled to yours.. I am to mine.


Is this your situation? If so we can discuss that, but I am thinking it is a case of she won't suck your dick, so that makes it okay

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to BDSMPleasures)
Profile   Post #: 166
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/16/2010 10:44:20 AM   
BDSMPleasures


Posts: 26
Joined: 4/12/2010
Status: offline 		Yes.. you are so right.. and so far the only one here that has made me re-think everything I am doing.. kudos to you.. thank you

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 167
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/16/2010 10:45:07 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Steady there.... you are ok with me.
You can feel free to stop beating yourself up now.




I haven't seen Shorey in over a week. Someone's got to beat me.

_____________________________



(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 168
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/16/2010 10:46:59 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures

The gray isn't about my desire.. its about my situation that caused me and many, many others to do same...

That is the most ridiculous justification that you could have pulled out of your ass.  "Other people are doing it, so I'm going to do it, too."  Are you twelve?

This really comes down to two different wants:

Wanting to be an honorable man in your marriage

vrs

Wanting to be involved in BDSM (including the sex, because let's be honest about that part).


Granted, neither one of these are needs.  You aren't going to die if you lack either one of these things.  (Well, as long as a spouse doesn't shoot you if you get caught in the act.)  In your situation as it stands, you have what is considered an "either/or" polarity.  It isn't shades of gray.  Literally, it is a situation where you can not have both.  Not the way you are approaching it.

What you have in front of you is a choice of which one of these wants is more important to you as a human being.  Is your character more important or your libido?


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to BDSMPleasures)
Profile   Post #: 169
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/16/2010 10:48:27 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures

many profiles say looking for "single".. if they do.. I won't try for them.. so what others do is not what I do..


I take it as a given that the men contacting me should be single... why should I have to spell it out that I want a single man? Why should I have to say "don't be married"? I mean, really, why should a single person have to tell you marrieds we don't want ya?

I can tell you why you don't start out your profile with the fact you are married, because you might want to start something with a single gal that would dismiss you instantly knowing you were taken. Now, seeing that you are willing to cheat on your spouse, this isn't all that shocking that you omit pertinent information from your profile to attract more woman, but it does show a certain extra sliminess... well, guess what, when women look at your profile they can hit "forum posts" and the truth of your situation will not be hidden... so I am REALLY glad for their sakes you started this thread



_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to BDSMPleasures)
Profile   Post #: 170
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/16/2010 10:48:42 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures

I will protect her from you all..

You're not even protecting her from yourself.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to BDSMPleasures)
Profile   Post #: 171
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/16/2010 10:51:04 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968


I haven't seen Shorey in over a week. Someone's got to beat me.



Good point! As your protector I approve.

Plus, my post was kinda soft and fluffy. It makes me look like a pussy.

Don't spread it around, ok?


_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 172
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/16/2010 10:59:51 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

You can justify it all you want, but eventually one night, in the middle of the night you're gonna wake up alone and realize what a shitty thing you did.
And you can't go back and change it.


Yeah, my ex husband could tell you that... he lost me over cheating. He tells my son he still regrets it...

If BDSMPleasures reads this reply, you very well could end up losing everything. My ex cheated with a bunny boiler, and that is how I found out, she started stalking him. This is what you may end up exposing the wife and kids to, some emotionally unstable bimbo with a bad marriage looking for a way out. One of the most common reasons women cheat is to decide whether or not to stay in their marriage, and if the one you find decides she should leave, maybe she will demand you do too... never know

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 173
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/16/2010 11:02:07 AM   
SpiritedRadiance


Posts: 1341
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures

Hypthetetical... suppose she's in a coma, and has been for 3 years, Drs say no chance of recovery... divorce her insurance is canclled and they pull the plug.. what do you do? is someone then justified staying and going on side in secret.. (protect family, kids etc..) ? If you answer yes.. then there are circumstances conceivable that it is permissible? Then its just a matter of opinion when one thinks its OK.. also a myyare of opinion under what othjer circumstances would be "OK".... ask 10 people.. you'll get 10 different answers... , funny thing is none are wrong.. its their opinion... you're entitled to yours.. I am to mine.


Then I would pull the plug and let the person who I love and care about move on to go to heaven be reborn and what have and what not.

But your wife ISNT in a coma, she just doesnt want to engage in sexual relations the way you want to. Im sorry you might be one of the few people... who dont fuck before marriage, but most people do, and if the sex sucked then ya probably shouldnt have married her.

Ive read all of your posts, and the only thing i can hope and pray for is that you dont bring home and std to your wife, and let me tell you this... Condoms DONT protect you from anything and you (a guy) cant  be tested for hpv...

now 1 in 4 adults get hpv in one form or another in their life, but if your wife is only fucking you, and she goes for her annual pap... and she has hpv...(which can be transfered simply from genital to genital contact).

guess what sweetie, you arent getting half of your own shit in that divorce settlement. youll be lucky if you can afford renting a room for 150 a month after the ala/child support payments.

Go talk to your wife. Explain to her what you want, what your feeling you need and want, if shes like most women i know she will try it for the sake of the marriage, go slow.

And remember there is no gray to this, at all what so ever, its black and white, you stood up infront of your god, your family and friends and you told them, in short Im gonna only fuck this bitch till the day i die..

Are you dead? No, then honor your word.

-this has been a public service announcement from the cunt whos sick of married men not just working it the fuck out with the women they have chosen to marry.

(in reply to BDSMPleasures)
Profile   Post #: 174
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/16/2010 11:10:41 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		Wouldn't it be fun if your wife was on here looking too, and you both ran into each other? Makes me think of that old song, Escape:


I was tired of my lady
We'd been together too long
Like a worn-out recording
Of a favorite song
So while she lay there sleeping
I read the paper in bed
And in the personal columns
There was this letter I read

"If you like Pina Coladas
And getting caught in the rain
If you're not into yoga
If you have half a brain
If you'd like making love at midnight
In the dunes on the Cape
Then I'm the love that you've looked for
Write to me and escape."

I didn't think about my lady
I know that sounds kind of mean
But me and my old lady
Have fallen into the same old dull routine
So I wrote to the paper
Took out a personal ad
And though I'm nobody's poet
I thought it wasn't half bad

"Yes I like Pina Coladas
And getting caught in the rain
I'm not much into health food
I am into champagne
I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon
And cut through all this red-tape
At a bar called O'Malley's
Where we'll plan our escape."

So I waited with high hopes
And she walked in the place
I knew her smile in an instant
I knew the curve of her face
It was my own lovely lady
And she said, "Oh it's you."
Then we laughed for a moment
And I said, "I never knew."

That you like Pina Coladas
Getting caught in the rain
And the feel of the ocean
And the taste of champagne
If you'd like making love at midnight
In the dunes of the Cape
You're the lady I've looked for
Come with me and escape

repeat chorus twice and fade out



PS - I wouldn't expect that happy of an ending though. The song always struck me as kind of unrealistic. No mention of anyone throwing anything, or any hairpulling or face slapping.

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 7/16/2010 11:14:09 AM >

(in reply to SpiritedRadiance)
Profile   Post #: 175
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/16/2010 11:14:21 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		You should be embarressed that you knew that song.

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 176
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/16/2010 11:15:27 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

You should be embarressed that you knew that song.


I'm perverse enough to take pride in it.

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 177
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/16/2010 11:17:04 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		You are one sick fuck.

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 178
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/16/2010 11:18:36 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

You are one sick fuck.


You silver tongued, devil, you.
Flirt much?

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 179
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/16/2010 11:20:00 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		, come here often, need to be whipped home?

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 180
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