what does "love" feel like to you?

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what does "love" feel like to you? - 7/16/2010 4:53:49 PM

gungadin09

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Sorry to start another love thread so soon. The other one confused me because (at the risk of sounding sappy) i don't understand the term "love". i've never felt "love", at least not the way other people seem to experience it. i don't know if that means i'm missing out on something, or if i just experience it differently. What's "love" supposed to be like, some sort of warm and fuzzy feeling? i don't get that.

i may use the term "love", but when i do i'm really talking about something else. i don't feel "love" for my family, i feel obligation, gratitude, and need. And for me, romantic love is more like an obsession. i'll start to "crush" on someone. i'll think about them more and more. i'll get butterflies when i see them. Pretty soon i'll look forward to seeing them. Then it will bother me if i don't see them. Then i start "needing" them. i become obsessive and devoted. i analyse every conversation, replaying it in my mind, picking it apart to find what each word meant; to find where i made a mistake. i try to be worthy of them. i put them up on a pedastle and adore them. Sometimes they never find out. Often it's someone i can't tell, like a teacher or boss, so i just channel that devotion into being a better student, cook, whatever, like a silent offering to them. i don't feel "love". i feel obsession, devotion, desire, need, posessiveness, entitlement, jealousy, and pain.

i also experience love as a deep sense of loss, only after it's gone. It's often like that with family, friends, boyfriends, pets, jobs even. i will believe myself indifferent, but when the thing is taken away, i'm devastated and go into deep withdrawal. That's what makes me think that it might not really be love i'm talking about, but rather attachment, or need. Sometimes i experience love as a deep fear of losing what i love.

The fact is that when people use the term "love", i feel like they're speaking a foreign language. i experience romantic love as an obsessive need that borders on pain. Plutonic love is something i don't feel at all, until the moment i've lost the thing i love, when i go into withdrawal.

What do you think? What does "love" feel like to you?

pam

< Message edited by gungadin09 -- 7/16/2010 4:55:11 PM >

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RE: what does "love" feel like to you? - 7/16/2010 5:01:44 PM

pahunkboy

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Well- FR-

my fling was by. I did not know if he would stop by any more this summer. He is more explorative with the touching and I like that.

I just like when he is around.

I wish I could have more.

(in reply to gungadin09)

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RE: what does "love" feel like to you? - 7/16/2010 5:04:49 PM

gungadin09

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That's "love"? To me, it feels like i'm dying. How's that for melodrama?

pam

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RE: what does "love" feel like to you? - 7/16/2010 5:09:56 PM

pahunkboy

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One Sunday school series I was in- - considered love as selfish.

In a way- that does make sense.

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RE: what does "love" feel like to you? - 7/16/2010 5:19:19 PM

bestheadyet

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gives pam a hug....i so know what you mean

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RE: what does "love" feel like to you? - 7/16/2010 5:22:19 PM

ourmsbetty

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This is a fast reply. I haven't really had time to read the entire thread, but Pam I believe I may have an answer for you.

In my mind, Robert Heinlein settled this question way back in 1961 when he wrote, in the revised version of Stranger In a Strange Land "love is that condition in which another's happiness is essential to your own."

Pretty simple when you look at it like that.

Ms. Betty

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RE: what does "love" feel like to you? - 7/16/2010 5:30:03 PM

sexyred1

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There are as many definitions for love as there are snowflakes.

It is too individual to generalize.

For me, it is when I cannot stop thinking about someone, how to make them happy, how they make me happy and when I get butterflies even after many years of looking at them or hearing their voice.

It is also the condition of being more concerned with their well being than your own comfort at times.

It is when you think of them first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

It is when you think you cannot breathe without them.

It is the ultimate in passion.

It is somewhat like obsession.

It is worth it all.

Even getting hurt.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 7/16/2010 5:34:39 PM >

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RE: what does "love" feel like to you? - 7/16/2010 5:38:22 PM

pahunkboy

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Jump up and down.

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RE: what does "love" feel like to you? - 7/16/2010 5:43:54 PM

Level

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When I was with her, I felt as much peace as I've ever had; when she was gone, there was an ache.

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RE: what does "love" feel like to you? - 7/16/2010 5:46:26 PM

AQuietSimpleMan

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Love?

Love feels like for the first time in my life I feel more concerned about someone else than I do for myself.

When in love, I become expendable, just to make sure they are safe.

When in Love, I would give everything.. everything.. just to keep them safe.

QSM

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RE: what does "love" feel like to you? - 7/16/2010 5:55:14 PM

DarlingSavage

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Love, soft as an easy chair....

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RE: what does "love" feel like to you? - 7/16/2010 5:59:58 PM

littlewonder

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Love for me:

I can' t and don't want to imagine going on without him.
My heart literally aches when we're not together or when he's hurting.
I want to be all, give all for him without any thoughts to my own happiness....just doing things simply because he's my world
When we're together my heart skips a beat and I hang on to every word he says and I wish I could just crawl into him and stay there forever.

It's a wonderful feeling.

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RE: what does "love" feel like to you? - 7/16/2010 6:01:14 PM

Tantriqu

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When in junior high, we had to read a Christmas story about a husband who sold his only valuable possession, his watch, to buy a comb for his wife's hair, and the wife who sold her long hair to buy a watch chain for her husband. As a kid, I thought that was sad and dumb, but after falling in love, I understood it completely.
And love is only love when it's reciprocated, as in the story: when someone else's happiness comes before your own, and when your happiness comes before theirs.
Otherwise, it's just doomed and pathetic if it's a one-way obsession only.

I was always drawn to the movie Excalibur, and only once I fell in love for the first time did I understand the raging hormones and feelings of love, that if I were a female Uther in love with a male Igraine, I would storm my friend's castle, sacrifice my old retainers and entire army, and risk my own life and limb just to make love with my friend's husband [but on the condition that his kids not watch: eurgh].
So now I know what all the songs, poems and stories are about; they're all true. When it's mutual, the hormones for both lust and contentment are whizzing around both your bloodstreams, the sex is magical, and even after years your logical heart goes pitter-pat when you see your beloved striding down the street toward you: it's heaven on earth. Le sigh!

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RE: what does "love" feel like to you? - 7/16/2010 6:04:59 PM

pahunkboy

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x-mas story- they had a movie to that effect.

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RE: what does "love" feel like to you? - 7/16/2010 6:07:20 PM

angelikaJ

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Love is more than words or feelings, it is actions.

http://www.vachss.com/mission/behavior.html

I have always liked the Heinlein definition as well

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RE: what does "love" feel like to you? - 7/16/2010 6:10:27 PM

ourmsbetty

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The Christmas story is called The Gift of the Magi.

< Message edited by ourmsbetty -- 7/16/2010 6:11:37 PM >

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RE: what does "love" feel like to you? - 7/16/2010 6:13:26 PM

DarlingSavage

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quote:

What's "love" supposed to be like, some sort of warm and fuzzy feeling? i don't get that.

What's love got to do with it?

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Strangers have the BEST candy!

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RE: what does "love" feel like to you? - 7/16/2010 7:51:49 PM

KatyLied

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Love is ...................... home

It is the place of safety and security, where you are free to be you, in your faults and your glory, and embrace the fact that you are accepted as is. It is comfort and warmth. It is knowing that your world is happily expanded because this other person means the world to you. And in a perfect world, it is mutual.

< Message edited by KatyLied -- 7/16/2010 7:52:41 PM >

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RE: what does "love" feel like to you? - 7/16/2010 9:00:52 PM

gungadin09

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

It's a wonderful feeling.

i envy you. For me, "love" (if that's even the right word for it) is much closer to pain then to pleasure.

pam

(in reply to littlewonder)

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RE: what does "love" feel like to you? - 7/16/2010 9:50:27 PM

AQuietSimpleMan

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quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

It's a wonderful feeling.

i envy you. For me, "love" (if that's even the right word for it) is much closer to pain then to pleasure.

pam

Then me this would not be Love.

Love should not hurt.

QSM

_____________________________

Guy Stud =Vs= Girl Slut ~~ Debate ENDED!

"If a Key opens many locks, then it is a Master Key, If a Lock is opened by lots of keys, then it is a Shitty Lock"

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