RE: Loving 24/7 Femdom/malesub...myth or reality ?

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RE: Loving 24/7 Femdom/malesub...myth or reality ? - 7/21/2010 8:27:43 PM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
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Yes, they exist. I am in one, although we do not live together. She doesn't trample me every second we are together, but I am always her slave, even in the non kinky moments...which I try to keep to a minimum.

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RE: Loving 24/7 Femdom/malesub...myth or reality ? - 7/21/2010 8:43:42 PM

BoiJen

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Joined: 3/7/2007
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Says the guy who IS the step stool for getting out of his truck. lol

Ma'am was recounting that story the other day with fondness.

:-)

boi

PS> Reality

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RE: Loving 24/7 Femdom/malesub...myth or reality ? - 7/21/2010 9:28:53 PM

slavekal

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Joined: 7/20/2004
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You remember that! Alas, I have a smaller truck now.

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RE: Loving 24/7 Femdom/malesub...myth or reality ? - 7/21/2010 9:30:05 PM

Voodali

Posts: 255
Joined: 10/2/2007
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quote:

What We found was that the Women and men who were attracted to Our group simply did not go out into the pan community. This was especially true for the male submissives, mostly due to fear of judgment by the Male Doms (which is indicative of their self esteem, usually), but true for the Women as well, mostly due to a real or perceived issue with Asshole Male Doms.

Our bet is that, if you started the group and put the world out online, maybe even created a cyber group first (which is what we did for FAD), you'll find members... and Sisters.

Hey, now that is new insight ! I never really gave that much thought, because I do love my pansexual community. There are lots of fabulous people in it, and yes, a lot of them are male Doms. Still, you may have a point. I guess I always figured that a sub who was secure in his masculinity and his role wouldn't feel threatened, but maybe I'm failing to fully understand the pressure that a male upbringing may put the boys under. You may have a good suggestion here.

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RE: Loving 24/7 Femdom/malesub...myth or reality ? - 7/21/2010 10:22:02 PM

SthrnCom4t

Posts: 343
Joined: 9/9/2007
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Yes, successful FemDom/male sub relationships do exist.

In our case, it's almost effortless. I attribute that to Otter and what an amazing and loving individual he is. We got together because I saw his post on www.polymatchmaker.com. I thought he was cute. He was local, so I said hi. I really didn't have expectations, just saw that he and his wife were new to poly, I had some experiences, and they were 20 minutes down the road. We in alternative lifestyles have to stick together!

I was emotionally disconnected, initially. Living solo, but still legally married myself, I had 2 other 'secondary' relationships and was dating up a storm. I met he and his wife; liked THEIR dynamic, and thought he was a cutie. Who could have known?

Coming up on 2 years later, we're now married. He is a very 'active' submissive. We have very few 'rules' in our house. I don't 'make' him do things on a daily basis. He does them because he enjoys pleasing me. I love being spoiled, and he does a fabulous job of it. I wake up every morning filled with gratitude that I am able to share my life with him. I fall asleep with my arms around him every night feeling gratitude that he is in my life.

We both enjoy connection. Neither of us is needy, high maintenance or insecure.

I provide him with a safe and loving environment. My grounding energy is a compliment to his sometimes artistic nature. Together, we are on the same wavelength which makes us very compatible and companionable. Again, I believe that is due to his easy-going nature. I admire and respect his wit and charm. His devotion to me is seductive as hell. I help keep him focused. My independence challenges him to get to the door before I do. I love that he's a gentleman and opens doors for me 99% of the time. I praise him and thank him often.

I also don't put up with BS excuses for not meeting responsibilities in life. I'm never a victim. I'm always 'learning life lessons' and find positive ways to deal with difficult situations. I'm not caught up with 'what other's might think'. I'm a good match for a girlie-boy.

Together, we live an incredibly rich life. We are privileged to have many wonderful people share our world. We are both very social, and attract like-minded people. We both love to provide for other people. He through service, and myself, through nurturing. This is also what makes our dynamic work so well.

In the morning, we get up early and take walks together, even though we'd both rather be lazy and sleep in. We *want* to be physically fit, so we can be together in this physical life as long as possible! He's teaching me to like spicy food and Babylon 5. Together, we buy too much fabric at JoAnn's, and stumble through sewing projects. We are both sensation whores. We work hard, so we can play hard. We love to go camping and I'm teaching him to be naked outside. He's still a bit shy, and has an innocence about him. I love to make him blush!

We have a new dog, who we both love. We make great *four pawed um* parents, but have no desire for the real deal.

How did I find him? I met A LOT of people! I didn't give up. He is my 4th husband. 4! That's just plain CRAZY! I am not Liz Taylor, REALLY!

I had to be willing to take the chance. To get past the doubts of my own judgment, and trust that I REALLY had learned valuable lessons from past interactions.

He is amazing and very worth any risk!

My Dominant side loves to make him cry. Not always, but when the need rises in both of us. I value his tears and willingness to expose his most vulnerable self to me. His trust empowers me. My love and acceptance empowers him.

This is *power exchange* - neither of has *more* power than the other - we both contribute to making the dynamic work. He wants to make me happy. When I am happy, fulfilled and content, I want to create happiness in him.

I value his love and devotion. I trust he will tell me if he needs something, and he's not getting it. We are both responsible for getting our needs met. We communicate even when it's difficult. We each provide that *safe environment* for the other to speak openly.

I often fantasize, taunt and tease him, about a future molestation when we go to the women's restroom together. <wicked, evil grin> For me, he is just scrumptious!

Life is truly delicious!

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'The sign of a developed mind is one in which two opposing ideas can coexist' - Oscar Wilde.

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RE: Loving 24/7 Femdom/malesub...myth or reality ? - 7/22/2010 1:03:45 AM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
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Oh Southern, that is just so beautiful! Gives Me lots of hope that I will likewise stumble over the right boy to complete the family with Master and Myself. Thanks for posting that. We hear from Otter and that's great, but lovely to hear such devoted words from You too.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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RE: Loving 24/7 Femdom/malesub...myth or reality ? - 7/22/2010 11:55:14 AM

LadyNTrainer

Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam
What We found was that the Women and men who were attracted to Our group simply did not go out into the pan community. This was especially true for the male submissives, mostly due to fear of judgment by the Male Doms (which is indicative of their self esteem, usually), but true for the Women as well, mostly due to a real or perceived issue with Asshole Male Doms.

I attend some of the local pansexual events, but frankly, with a fabulous group like FAD also local to me, there's been very little point to going anywhere else. So mostly we skip the other events unless they're of specific interest to someone in our family, or if we feel like an outing on a TMG Saturday. We do tend to make the larger pansexual events though, like the auctions, picnics, etc.

It's not a self esteem thing so much as an "our local femdom group is fabulous and keeps us about as busy as we want to be" thing. I doubt we're alone in this boat; there are a number of FAD folks I don't generally see at the pan events. I can't speak as to their specific reasons, but I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of us felt the same way. There's limited time for us to do social events, FAD is non negotiable because it's way too cool, the rest of it just takes second place.

If you don't happen to have a similarly awesome femdom group near you, create one if it's at all feasible. :)

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RE: Loving 24/7 Femdom/malesub...myth or reality ? - 7/22/2010 1:38:59 PM

ChampagneMojito

Posts: 77
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: UK
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I met my slave (also my fiance) via Collar Me in 2006. I collared him a few weeks after we met, he asked me to marry me within 4 months of our first meeting.

It's beautiful.

Loving, sexy, funny. We've had entire weekends of pure, dirty kink that I've woken up from sore and sated. We've also had weekends of obligation - looking after each other's friends/family. We've seen hard times too (that are now thankfully behind us) - my redundancy, his company's failure.

Most times, I guess we look like any other couple. But if you peeked into our flat on, say a Monday evening, you might see a few unusual things, like him asking me permission to use the bathroom, me smacking his bottom whenever I saw him bending over, me raising an eyebrow and him backing off very quickly if he was getting a little cheeky. Maybe he'd go to bed a little early, and I'd come in later and wake him roughly, pushing him down between my legs for some amazing oral, using him hard, cumming, then rolling over without a care for his aching cock.

If you hung around for the week, you might see nothing odd on Tuesday or Wednesday, but maybe on Thursday, I'd tie him to the chair, blindfold him, spoonfeed him his dinner. Following that, I might strip him, put him in little panties, place a remote controlled vibrator up his ass, then watch some porn with him while turning on and off the vibe (actually, I did that last night).

I guess what I'm saying is we mix the mundane with the kink, the funny with the serious, the intimate with the infliction of pain. None of this could mean what it does if we didn't love each other. He's not just my slave, he's my soul mate. We aren't very similar personality-wise, but we share many interests and have the same core values. I love his family, he loves mine. We treat each other kindly. Sometimes we resolve arguments with great dignity, sometimes with kink, other times again with giant sulks. We laugh a lot together, and we both know that I'm always right (wink). There's no-one I would rather spend time with, anytime, anywhere.

I love him and he loves me. I never thought I'd find true love in BDSM, but I did and it filled me right up.

Keep the faith.

E x

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I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. ~Anaïs Nin

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