Loving 24/7 Femdom/malesub...myth or reality ? (Full Version)

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Voodali -> Loving 24/7 Femdom/malesub...myth or reality ? (7/21/2010 11:17:56 AM)

I'm looking for a little encouragement, because I believe that if one person can attain something, it is possible for those who haven't yet.
I want to hear from Domme/sub or slave couples who live the lifestyle 24/7 (Yes, I know that 24/7 includes going to work, the Domme occasionally doing the dishes, and other mundane facts of life). I want to hear that love, commitment and companionship are possible for flawed and kinky people like myself.
I have been looking for a very very long time, and yes, I have standards, not ridiculously high, in my opinion, but they do complicate things, of course.  I have seen successful Maledom/femsub couples, but I haven't personally met any Femdom/malesub ones.  I stubbornly believe they exist, even though what I have encountered are oodles and oodles of play partners who really don't envision a future beyond the temporary satisfaction of their own desires, and guys who claim to want what I want, but who live in Egypt, and other inconvenient places.
There is the distinct possibility that the problem is me, but I will worry about that once I know this dynamic is possible, and has been achieved.



ElanSubdued -> RE: Loving 24/7 Femdom/malesub...myth or reality ? (7/21/2010 11:28:02 AM)

Voodali,

--- From profile:  "Days Since Last Cock Shot:  0"

This almost made me spray my soup all over my screen.  Utterly priceless! :-)

E.



Voodali -> RE: Loving 24/7 Femdom/malesub...myth or reality ? (7/21/2010 11:31:46 AM)

I'm glad to have amused. :)
I was having a rash of them a while back, and decided to start posting how many days it had been...sort of like the accidents they were.  Sadly, they petered out after that.



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Loving 24/7 Femdom/malesub...myth or reality ? (7/21/2010 11:37:27 AM)

Of course they exist. LadyPact, TammyJo and DiurnalVampire (We think We spelled that right) are the ones that immediately pop into Our head as examples from CollarMe. If you want to meet more in your area, start a Fem Dom group. We bet there are several in your city just like you!

Master Fire



LadyPact -> RE: Loving 24/7 Femdom/malesub...myth or reality ? (7/21/2010 11:38:55 AM)

I appreciate the mention a great deal, MFM.  I hope you and yours are well.

OP, you might be interested in this thread.  http://www.collarchat.com/m_3321589/tm.htm



Voodali -> RE: Loving 24/7 Femdom/malesub...myth or reality ? (7/21/2010 11:39:54 AM)

I should probably specify that the sort of thing I want to hear about includes mutual attraction, and not just people thrown together because they have nowhere else to go to fulfill a kink.  Yes, yes.  I know.  That makes it so much harder to come by.



Voodali -> RE: Loving 24/7 Femdom/malesub...myth or reality ? (7/21/2010 11:45:34 AM)

Thank you for the examples.  I had been keeping half an eye on some of the people you mentioned, and was hoping to hear from them personally....and from others as well.
As far as starting a femdom group, I am very active in my local community, such as it is, though the groups I am part of are more pansexual. I know many Maledom/femsub couples, some Maledom/malesub arrangements, some kinky partners who are more switchy, a poly group where the sub female will switch, a pro Domme who subs in her relationship, but no Femdom/malesub couples who are 24/7 and observe any kind of protocol at our events.



Voodali -> RE: Loving 24/7 Femdom/malesub...myth or reality ? (7/21/2010 11:47:02 AM)

Yes indeed.  That thread is hopeful.



LadyPact -> RE: Loving 24/7 Femdom/malesub...myth or reality ? (7/21/2010 12:07:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Voodali

Thank you for the examples.  I had been keeping half an eye on some of the people you mentioned, and was hoping to hear from them personally....and from others as well.
As far as starting a femdom group, I am very active in my local community, such as it is, though the groups I am part of are more pansexual. I know many Maledom/femsub couples, some Maledom/malesub arrangements, some kinky partners who are more switchy, a poly group where the sub female will switch, a pro Domme who subs in her relationship, but no Femdom/malesub couples who are 24/7 and observe any kind of protocol at our events.


I went to take a look at your location.  I can't say that I'm familiar with the folks who comprise your kink community.  You may want to expand a bit and visit some neighboring munch groups.  It may improve your chances of seeing examples of the type of dynamic that you would like to find.



IronBear -> RE: Loving 24/7 Femdom/malesub...myth or reality ? (7/21/2010 1:04:05 PM)

Of course it works and indeed exists. One of our best friends is an older lady, Domme who lives 24/7 with her male sub who is absolutely devoted to her. Any combination you can imagine can and probably does exist somewhere.



Lockit -> RE: Loving 24/7 Femdom/malesub...myth or reality ? (7/21/2010 1:10:44 PM)

I have lived it and miss it! My health concerns influence far too much in my relationships and it is very difficult to find someone who can continue with all that it means in life. Many won't even try because of unknown fears. Most who have been with me don't have a problem with me or what I go through, but outside contributions that are almost a thing of the past now. Add my son and not working, etc, it is even harder.

My relationships haven't always been based on bdsm, but most had d/s dynamic's to the point of my being in charge, working and supporting them while they took very good care of me, with one bdsm and d/s. The devotion between us was amazing, but still not enough to withstand not knowing what my medical conditions were and the medical community. Other than that, both parties in multiple relationships mourned the loss of one another and the relationship, but knew we just couldn't go on with the damage done. The many years of mourning was proof of how amazing it was.

We shared everything, were very close and knew just how to work one another. lol The bonds were so tight that it made the breakup so very painful and sometimes dramatic because of the frustration levels of not wanting to lose one another. So my situation is a bit extreme.

I cannot find that now and almost believe it will take a miracle to have it. I cannot get out as much as others can and that limits things as well. I have no doubt that if I could get out, I could find someone, even with all I have going on. I have friends in the local scene and they are sure I could find someone, but I cannot be there enough to do so. As for the online pickings... oh shit! lol The same guys running around changing their nicks once they have gone through us all and we all rejected them. We talk by phone and sometimes in person and compare notes on who has contacted us and what we experienced with them. I am all for the in person connections! lol I just can't always make them.

I do miss the romance, the fun, the play, the bonding and all that comes with a bond so close we open up kink wise... but until I find one that can handle what I have going on and until one can even come close to the wonder of what I have known... I will remain as I am. I can't wait for the day when I too can come here and post about play topics I cannot post about now! lol



Voodali -> RE: Loving 24/7 Femdom/malesub...myth or reality ? (7/21/2010 1:20:34 PM)

What you describe sounds like the stuff that makes life worth living.
You have my sincerest wishes for a speedy recovery from whatever ails you, whether it is something you supposedly can recover from or not.



VampiresLair -> RE: Loving 24/7 Femdom/malesub...myth or reality ? (7/21/2010 1:32:43 PM)

Thank You Master Fire. You did spell it correctly. Fox and I have been in a 24/7 loving dynamic, which recently went from dating to marriage, for nearly 3 years. It has challenges, same as any other relationship. Our wedding anniversary is October 18th.

It took a very long time to find, I will admit. I had been active in the lifestyle for 10+ years before I met Fox (though to be fair he is 10 years younger, so he wasnt around just yet). I had stopped looking when I found him, and we have been together since the day we met. He was collared 3 days after we met, and moved in with me about a month later. We were engaged within 3 months of meeting, but had the more public announcement of the engagement at our one year anniversary. I proposed to him :) The first people to learn of the engagement were fellow CMers, actually. Daddysredhead got the call on our way home from the wedding ceremony at which I proposed (with my best friend and later matron of honor's blessing)

My advice for finding someone is to stop looking so hard. Finding a relationship is difficult enough, without the added pressures of LOOKING specifically for someone for a relationship. Meet people, make friends and contacts and see what develops.



LadyNTrainer -> RE: Loving 24/7 Femdom/malesub...myth or reality ? (7/21/2010 1:56:52 PM)

Absolutely.  I have a wonderful, loving, romantic, poly D/s relationship with two collared partners.  We're all very content and drama free as a family.  I live with my primary and spend regular time (3-4 times weekly with some overnights) with my secondary, plus family nights when the three of us enjoy an outing or an activity together.  This schedule gives both the boys the time they need to focus on their work and social life, and it keeps me happy as a well tended dominant, so all is just lovely in happy poly kink land for the three of us.



OttersSwim -> RE: Loving 24/7 Femdom/malesub...myth or reality ? (7/21/2010 2:27:55 PM)

Yes Lady they do exist, though you may have to kiss a lot of frogs to find that prince among submissives that is right for you. 

I think they say that there are about a hundred "submissive males" for every Femdom out there.  But my experience has been that there is a pretty big difference between trolling around a D/s website and actually committing yourself to living that life with someone. 

There is nothing in male socialization...at all...that says that it is in any way okay to be submissive, subservient, or yielding to another.  And so that is a pretty big hurdle for most males to get over.  The few that make it over that first hurdle of taking it real time will often take a "this far and no farther" attitude until they find someone they can really trust...and that is a strain because it makes them appear unwilling when they are really just fearful of letting go of that last bit of male programming that embracing that nature that allows them to really become a "submissive". 

So really I believe it ends up being skewed a bit the other way actually - with fewer males willing to actually commit to and live D/s than there are Femdoms out there.  All my opinion mind you and some may find it total hogwash...

I wish you luck in your search.  Keep your standards high and eventually one of those toads will hop up and become a prince of a submissive for you.  :)

<3  Otter



ShawnRedux -> RE: Loving 24/7 Femdom/malesub...myth or reality ? (7/21/2010 2:56:36 PM)

Ha, I'm sure many of us hope for just that encouragement. If we were all Fords, we'd probably be in the junk yard now. But we got a few different bells n whistles, takes longer. Hopefully the time is seen as worth it at the end. If not, hope the journey was enjoyable.



Voodali -> RE: Loving 24/7 Femdom/malesub...myth or reality ? (7/21/2010 4:56:07 PM)

quote:

I think they say that there are about a hundred "submissive males" for every Femdom out there.  But my experience has been that there is a pretty big difference between trolling around a D/s website and actually committing yourself to living that life with someone. 

There is nothing in male socialization...at all...that says that it is in any way okay to be submissive, subservient, or yielding to another.  And so that is a pretty big hurdle for most males to get over.  The few that make it over that first hurdle of taking it real time will often take a "this far and no farther" attitude until they find someone they can really trust...and that is a strain because it makes them appear unwilling when they are really just fearful of letting go of that last bit of male programming that embracing that nature that allows them to really become a "submissive". 

So really I believe it ends up being skewed a bit the other way actually - with fewer males willing to actually commit to and live D/s than there are Femdoms out there.  All my opinion mind you and some may find it total hogwash...


This, although it has already become sadly evident, is helpful.  As soon as a domme plunges into any sort of scene or reads any sort of book, she is informed that she'll be swarmed by males, as they outnumber her 100/1.  Males, yes. Users, by all means. Quality males, very rarely.  Quality males with compatible interests ?  Quality males with compatible interests with whom she shares chemistry and attraction? I think this only happens by the grace of God. (or the Great Atheismo, or whoever you prefer to believe dishes out the highly improbable things)

So in the meantime, I guess one can take out one's frustration and bitterness on the do-me's.



blmtrsne -> RE: Loving 24/7 Femdom/malesub...myth or reality ? (7/21/2010 6:51:33 PM)

We are in a 24/7 Femdom relationship which means :
- I am the one deciding about anything, also financial. He owns nothing.
- I don't do the dishes, garbage, beds...
- Of course I do some tasks because it's practical. But he frees up a lot of time for me to do things I like.
- He worships me with household things: fi always a glas of cool white wine at certain times of the day....
- We rarely play: whips are for enforcing a new habbit which does not enter in his head, but normaly he does what I want.
I like to dominate sexually, but that goes as far and in the direction I like.

It works since 1988.



cloudboy -> RE: Loving 24/7 Femdom/malesub...myth or reality ? (7/21/2010 7:36:05 PM)

One needs faith to achieve an elusive goal; this is the driver of making things happen. Good luck.



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Loving 24/7 Femdom/malesub...myth or reality ? (7/21/2010 7:55:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Voodali

...but no Femdom/malesub couples who are 24/7 and observe any kind of protocol at our events.



What We found was that the Women and men who were attracted to Our group simply did not go out into the pan community. This was especially true for the male submissives, mostly due to fear of judgment by the Male Doms (which is indicative of their self esteem, usually), but true for the Women as well, mostly due to a real or perceived issue with Asshole Male Doms.

Our bet is that, if you started the group and put the world out online, maybe even created a cyber group first (which is what we did for FAD), you'll find members... and Sisters.

Master Fire



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