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You wanna know what? - 7/24/2010 7:26:47 AM   
JstAnotherSub


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The dirty laundry thread Laurell started got me to thinkin.  What type of questions make each of us roll our eyes?

For me, something like "He wants to stick needles through my nipples.  Does anyone have a good resource I can check out for safety regarding this, as he has made that my assignment even though I am grimacing as I type this and praying it is a mind fuck." that is ok.

Something like "I was sent here to find us a playmate and I do not want to share(or he is fucking 3 others and I don't know how I feel about this, can you help me?)" to me, is something I would answer for my self, using only my gut.  Questions like that, "how I feel questions", well, they're how I feel and I don't ever even think about asking others an opinion on.

Another topic, rather than starting a new thread is...

So much is said on here about "experience in the lifestyle".  What do yo consider to be experienced in the lifestyle.

For me, someone who has lived a monogamous D/s relationship for years and never been to any public venue is just as experienced as someone who has been doing public play for 5 years and is known all around town.  Different experiences definately, but both "lifestyle" (and gawd I hate that word!)

Thoughts?


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RE: You wanna know what? - 7/24/2010 7:44:25 AM   
mstrjx


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OH! OH! I got one.

What is 'training'? Now, nobody holds their BDSM cows more sacred than I (NOBODY!), but is this a mis- (and over-) used word?

If I want to be fed the grape that's over there (points), all I need to do is wave my hand in an articulate manner, and my slave brings me the grape. There wasn't much training involved. More, as Ricky used to tell Lucy, it's 'splaining'. All it really took for my slave to learn how to feed me a grape was splaining, not training.

Now, before MFM and the high protocol police come raining down on me. because training MUST have something to do with high protocol, do I have a point?

So, in answer to the question, 'training' can be a bit of an eye-roller.

Jeff

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RE: You wanna know what? - 7/24/2010 7:50:36 AM   
mnottertail


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Ja, I'm iffy about that too.  On the other hand, hey, you get trained in if you work at mcdonalds.......anybody here don't know how to turn over a piece of ground meat or shake salt on tubers, without having somebody running thru a checklist, eyeballing the fuck outta ya?

Its all in how to do it according to the 'company line' so.........again, iffy.  Cuz I know how I want my blowjobs, and there are very few girls who don't have even the beginning of a clue, but they can be enhanced, considerably for me with a little this, and a little that.

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RE: You wanna know what? - 7/24/2010 8:00:21 AM   
laurell3


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Damn it...I thought the answer was chickenbutt!

The fat/age/limits/race threads are what get me. It's NEVER not going to end well. There's ALWAYS going to be someone saying I don't discriminate but then making statements that indicate the opposite and there's always going to be someone that says they have no limits and a dog pile of snark will be unleashed. I actually kind of like the trainwrecks on some days, but I have noticed that there are many here that cannot walk away from a thread and not carry hard feelings and it does effect the boards imo.

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RE: You wanna know what? - 7/24/2010 8:02:39 AM   
BonesFromAsh


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quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

What type of questions make each of us roll our eyes?

"Hi, I'm new here and married and my wife/husband doesn't know and I don't plan on telling him/her. I'm hoping, given the loose morals of kinky folks, someone can help me find a dom/me/sub/slave/whatever."

"Does anyone like -insert activity here_________?"

"My master wants me to -insert ridiculously silly 'prove-yourself-to-me' activity here__________. What should I do?"

"I've been owned by my master for about 3 years and although we've never met, I've decided to quit my job and leave everyone/everything that's familiar and loved to be with him. Am I being silly?"

"As a submissive, how badly were you abused early in life?"

"As a dominant, when was the last time you were arrested for assult?"

"I've been a bad girl and my master want's me to find out what sort of punishment I should get. Any suggestion?"

My mistress thinks it would be cool to see me raped by a pussy. She's decided to use her cat as a strap-on and I'm just wondering if that's safe. Anyone else have this kind of experience?"

Okay, the last example was a bit over the top but, given some of the things that have been posted....is it?
Sensing a pattern yet?




What do yo consider to be experienced in the lifestyle.

I guess it depends on what you mean by "lifestyle"....my definition and yours could be totally different. Same goes for experience. I do feel actual physical interaction, for me, would have to be the basis for experience. You can't feel the sting of a whip online.





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RE: You wanna know what? - 7/24/2010 8:19:09 AM   
poise


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"Why oh why are there so many FAKES here!"
Are they hoping all the REAL people will respond, so they have a convenient list to sort from?
Makes me roll my eyes and pull my hair!



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RE: You wanna know what? - 7/24/2010 8:41:00 AM   
LadyPact


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This is going to be a long response, so hang in there with Me.

The eye rolling stuff.  I'll try to be reasonable here.  It probably won't look like it, but I really am trying.

Topics that have been done to death.  This includes stuff like "What is the difference between a sub and a slave?" or "Why are there so many pro dommes here?".  I'm a huge fan of anybody typing a couple of key words into the search box to see just how much has already been written on a topic before reintroducing a question.

Topics that could have been answered from a good reading of SM101 or any other published non fiction book on BDSM.  The eyes go even further back in the head on this one if the poster just came from another thread where they were thumping their chest about how long they've been involved in wiitwd.

Topics from one handed typists.  This is an area that usually comes from those where you've never seen their screen name before, but they are under the impression that this is some kind of fuck fest or the females here are willing to have a sexual relationship with anybody with a dick.  (I want to be fair about this, because some females do the same thing.  I'm not gender bashing.) 

Topics that ask the forum to run the dynamic.  This includes things like "How do I punish a slave?" or "What rules do I have to have in place?".  If I have to tell you how to handle your submissive, exactly what are you needed for?  All you're doing is being the middle man.  The same thing applies to one of My personal favorites.  "I am talking to a submissive, what do I do with her?" 

Topics that show exactly why you shouldn't be in the lifestyle.  If the topic literally shows how mentally imbalanced or how mentally and/or emotionally immature you are, you probably need to rethink this whole thing.

Topics that are created for attention whoring/drama purposes.  I really shouldn't have to say much about that.


Your other question. 
What do yo consider to be experienced in the lifestyle.

I really base this on the conjugation of two different verbs.  The first is "to read".  The other is "to do".  Let's go with the latter first.

I don't care what it is that you are doing, as long as you are actively doing it, I consider that experience.  That can be anything from a full blown 24/7 M/s dynamic to somebody who just likes tying people (or being tied) up on the weekends.  Even if you aren't playing, but you are actively going out of your house to munches and demos during certain times so you can learn more and hopefully find a play partner, I'm even good with that.  If you are just quietly living your dynamic privately in your home, I'm all for it if that fits you.  Actually experiencing something is how I define experience. 

This is opposed to the verb "to read".  In reading, you may be gathering research, but you're not really gathering experience.  If the power supply going out on your computer dictates whether or not your involved in all of this, that's not experience.  Feeling like that online Master has control over you isn't the same thing.  If it's just fantasy because there's been no reality, that doesn't qualify in My book.  Read and learn all you like.  It's good for you.  It just doesn't equal experience.



Sorry for the length, but I warned you.


***  All "you" statements are meant as a general "you" and not particularly directed to the OP.



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RE: You wanna know what? - 7/24/2010 9:36:24 AM   
DesFIP


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45 year old women, and older, who assume a partner in wiitwd does not have to meet the same criteria as she expects a partner to meet in real life. I mean, really? If you wouldn't normally date an unemployed drunk, then why assume it's magically different because he says he's dominant?

More than eye rolling, this kind of thing makes me want to bang my head on the desk.


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RE: You wanna know what? - 7/24/2010 12:16:52 PM   
DomImus


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quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub
What type of questions make each of us roll our eyes?


None of the questions make me roll my eyes as much as the "Go Google it" or "Do a search" responses. If that's the only reply you can muster shut the fuck up already and go back to sleep.




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RE: You wanna know what? - 7/24/2010 12:35:42 PM   
Level


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I hate the "has a _______ ever _____?" or "can a _______?"

Sorry, but the first word that comes to mind when I see one of those is "stupid".

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RE: You wanna know what? - 7/24/2010 4:13:45 PM   
JstAnotherSub


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Oh man, some of these I didn't even think of.  I think my fav so far is LP's "one handed typist......lawd I snorted laughing!

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RE: You wanna know what? - 7/24/2010 6:37:35 PM   
thornhappy


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Well, fiddlefuck, feel free to start typing the next time an eternal topic comes up.

My eyes roll across the floor when (as noted above) I see relocation or collaring questions and the other party abuses drugs/alcohol/activity of choice, or can't support themselves. 
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomImus

quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub
What type of questions make each of us roll our eyes?


None of the questions make me roll my eyes as much as the "Go Google it" or "Do a search" responses. If that's the only reply you can muster shut the fuck up already and go back to sleep.




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RE: You wanna know what? - 7/25/2010 8:28:14 AM   
JstAnotherSub


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I may soon start rolling my eyes at any thread with the name bathroom or restroom in the title too.

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