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RE: Is BDSM an addiction for you? - 7/27/2010 4:04:00 PM

gungadin09

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Joined: 3/19/2010
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The negative is the devastation you feel when it all gets ripped away from you, now that you have grown to need this person. If and when that separation happens.

i reckon it's still worth it though, eh?

pam

< Message edited by gungadin09 -- 7/27/2010 4:07:23 PM >

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 41

RE: Is BDSM an addiction for you? - 7/27/2010 4:09:14 PM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
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From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

The negative is the devastation you feel when it all gets ripped away from you, now that you have grown to need this person. If and when that separation happens.

pam

I've become much less of a pessimist in the last year so I prefer to focus on the positives.

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(in reply to gungadin09)

Post #: 42

RE: Is BDSM an addiction for you? - 7/27/2010 4:10:53 PM

MrBukani

Posts: 1920
Joined: 4/18/2010
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Its funny that unattached people say they dont need it but once you got a partner you can be addicted to the partner and then its ok to be needy. Cause in my book addiction is a pretty desperate need. Now you can start arguing about good obsessions or maybe good kills.
Addiction is by definition not a good thing but since BDSM contradicts normal values you can easily turn definitions.
Like whore, slut and bitch are by nature negative words but kinky people get off on it.
You can turn anything around to serve your own purpose if you like.
Just gets pretty hard that way to truly get to the point.
BTW addiction in dutch is translated with enslavement.

Again you can make a slave a good thing but thats a personal conviction, not a general one.

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 43

RE: Is BDSM an addiction for you? - 7/27/2010 4:19:27 PM

reynardfox

Posts: 417
Joined: 9/8/2009
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It's my religion.

(in reply to gungadin09)

Post #: 44

RE: Is BDSM an addiction for you? - 7/27/2010 4:19:44 PM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

The negative is the devastation you feel when it all gets ripped away from you, now that you have grown to need this person. If and when that separation happens.

i reckon it's still worth it though, eh?

pam

Just to get back to this.... everyone needs someone in their lives.
I need my children and yes, I'm pretty addicted to them too.
That's just one example.

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Post #: 45

RE: Is BDSM an addiction for you? - 7/27/2010 4:20:24 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09
Do you feel that you're addicted to BDSM?

No. I'm not even addicted to posting about BDSM.

Other than oxygen and calories, there is almost nothing in the world I need. There are certain things I very much prefer, and I try to get them, and I sometimes feel sad if I don't have them, but I try to make decisions based on plans and analysis, not based on how I am feeling right now.

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to gungadin09)

Post #: 46

RE: Is BDSM an addiction for you? - 7/27/2010 4:33:38 PM

MrBukani

Posts: 1920
Joined: 4/18/2010
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I wonder how one will explain the word addiction to their children.

Need and addiction is the same?
I am addicted to air. Dont you think that sounds ridiculous?
Its all good to embelish your feelings for your loved ones with overtures, its even romantic.
But for argumenting real conditions it seems a poor methaphore to me.

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 47

RE: Is BDSM an addiction for you? - 7/27/2010 4:41:00 PM

SirsJewel

Posts: 696
Joined: 3/23/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I'm not exactly addicted to it, but I don't feel quite complete without it.

i'd tend to agree with this comment. i crave it the more i feel safe within the boundaries of the relationship. i have had a few casual play partenrs and it was great,enough to see them a few times even. But there is nothing like belonging and being taken to a limit and knowing it pleases at the same time. ~ jewels

_____________________________

God grant me the serenity to accept people for who they are and not whom i wish they could be ~ jewels

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 48

RE: Is BDSM an addiction for you? - 7/27/2010 4:43:54 PM

kiwisub12

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Joined: 1/11/2006
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I'm not addicted to bdsm, no more than i am addicted to men, or food or chocolate. But i wouldn't be happy without any of those things.

(in reply to SirsJewel)

Post #: 49

RE: Is BDSM an addiction for you? - 7/27/2010 4:45:34 PM

SirsJewel

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Joined: 3/23/2010
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Of course it is. i get knocked down and find the fastest way to recover is to not avoid my lifestyle choices ,not let that person distroy the "good" in me or what's taught. It would be very lonely or isolating to me personally to not be with people and to strive for my happiness again. It takes time though,and the addictive feeling you had with that person will grieve away and you have the adventure once again of finding something new out there. ~ jewels

_____________________________

God grant me the serenity to accept people for who they are and not whom i wish they could be ~ jewels

(in reply to gungadin09)

Post #: 50

RE: Is BDSM an addiction for you? - 7/27/2010 5:16:57 PM

gungadin09

Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
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Anybody here addicted to something besides the lovey/relationship part of BDSM? Power, for example, or pain, sex, danger, adrenaline, discipline? Come on, i know we're all not lovey dovey types.

Speaking for myself, when i say i'm addicted to a Dom, what i mean is that i'm addicted to serving Him. i want to need Him, i want to make sacrifices for Him, i want to feel worthless compared to Him, i want to please Him. The craving is psychological instead of physical, but it's not "love". It's something darker, right on the border between pleasure and pain. It's based on need, which is why i use the word addiction. What i crave is the emotional pain of a relationship.

pam

(in reply to SirsJewel)

Post #: 51

RE: Is BDSM an addiction for you? - 7/27/2010 5:25:22 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

Anybody here addicted to something besides the lovey/relationship part of BDSM? Power, for example, or pain, sex, danger, adrenaline, discipline? Come on, i know we're all not lovey dovey types.

Speaking for myself, when i say i'm addicted to a Dom, what i mean is that i'm addicted to serving Him. i want to need Him, i want to make sacrifices for Him, i want to feel worthless compared to Him, i want to please Him. The craving is psychological instead of physical, but it's not "love". It's something darker, right on the border between pleasure and pain. It's based on need, which is why i use the word addiction. What i crave is the emotional pain of a relationship.

pam

That's sad pam. What makes you think those things cannot be love? You seem to make many posts indicating the person isn't as important as your sufferring is. I would really look at that if I were you.

I don't suffer. I'm not addicted to BDSM. I do have healthy adult relationships that include, power, pain, sex, danger, adrenaline, discipline and yes, it is still a demonstration of affection or love. It doesn't have to be sufferring and the suggestion that it can be anonymous is also a bit off and sad to me.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to gungadin09)

Post #: 52

RE: Is BDSM an addiction for you? - 7/27/2010 5:30:51 PM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

Anybody here addicted to something besides the lovey/relationship part of BDSM? Power, for example, or pain, sex, danger, adrenaline, discipline? Come on, i know we're all not lovey dovey types.

Just because I was sappy and mushy and romantic doesn't mean I don't like to be beaten until I can't think straight and get fucked hard up the ass...

< Message edited by Aileen1968 -- 7/27/2010 5:34:24 PM >

_____________________________

(in reply to gungadin09)

Post #: 53

RE: Is BDSM an addiction for you? - 7/27/2010 5:34:10 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

without lube..........

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 54

RE: Is BDSM an addiction for you? - 7/27/2010 5:34:54 PM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

Is there any other way?

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Post #: 55

RE: Is BDSM an addiction for you? - 7/27/2010 5:39:01 PM

gungadin09

Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline

i still hope to achieve a healthy relationship someday. Someday.

pam

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 56

RE: Is BDSM an addiction for you? - 7/27/2010 5:42:29 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

i still hope to achieve a healthy relationship someday. Someday.

pam

I'm sure you can, but it may take some soul searching of what it is that you really want and letting go of some of the pain you seem to gravitate towards (and I don't mean consentual bdsm). I was there once too. I'm not criticising, merely pointing out that you might need to really take a look at where you are.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to gungadin09)

Post #: 57

RE: Is BDSM an addiction for you? - 7/27/2010 5:44:09 PM

gungadin09

Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline

No doubt you're right. In the meantime, i'll just have to settle for leading a fucked up but interesting life.

pam

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 58

RE: Is BDSM an addiction for you? - 7/27/2010 5:56:16 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

haha we all have fucked up and interesting lives at times. It's really more a measure of balance than anything that's close to perfection.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to gungadin09)

Post #: 59

RE: Is BDSM an addiction for you? - 7/27/2010 5:59:04 PM

SirsJewel

Posts: 696
Joined: 3/23/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

Anybody here addicted to something besides the lovey/relationship part of BDSM? Power, for example, or pain, sex, danger, adrenaline, discipline? Come on, i know we're all not lovey dovey types.

Speaking for myself, when i say i'm addicted to a Dom, what i mean is that i'm addicted to serving Him. i want to need Him, i want to make sacrifices for Him, i want to feel worthless compared to Him, i want to please Him. The craving is psychological instead of physical, but it's not "love". It's something darker, right on the border between pleasure and pain. It's based on need, which is why i use the word addiction. What i crave is the emotional pain of a relationship.

pam

i had been in the past,but outgrew wanting to feel bad about myself. In time hopefully you will too. Maso tendencies put aside, i just want personally to be able to trust fully and not feel used unknowingly with mistruths or deceit. Responsiblity in honor to me is key the rest feels damn good when it's right ~ jewels

_____________________________

God grant me the serenity to accept people for who they are and not whom i wish they could be ~ jewels

(in reply to gungadin09)

Post #: 60

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