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RE: Punishment - 7/30/2010 10:12:07 AM

porcelaine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Not to mention, it skips over all of those wonderful opportunities to discuss punishment hundreds of times more than it's probably ever applied in a successful dynamic.

You mean that rare situation where the submissive actually does as instructed? Who knew.

~porcelaine

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Post #: 21

RE: Punishment - 7/30/2010 10:28:30 AM

LadyPact

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Actually, I was referring to that maybe one time a year that some of us actually do punish. I'll bet that for the three times in the (more than) three years that I've actually had clip, I've responded to at least three hundred threads about punishment.

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Post #: 22

RE: Punishment - 7/30/2010 10:49:06 AM

porcelaine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Actually, I was referring to that maybe one time a year that some of us actually do punish. I'll bet that for the three times in the (more than) three years that I've actually had clip, I've responded to at least three hundred threads about punishment.

In my opinion that's indicative of good leadership and excellent decision-making. You chose a good partner and guide him in a manner where this isn't a routine issue in your dynamic. Sometimes less is more.

~porcelaine

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Post #: 23

RE: Punishment - 7/31/2010 1:47:45 PM

KurtAllen

Posts: 40
Joined: 7/9/2010
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Punishment: I am man, first and foremost and reject punishment as a means of communication or expressing endearment.
I accept guidance and leadership, corrective criticisms and a common sense approach to behavior modification.
That does not mean to say I will not subject myself to the will of a woman in almost any manner it unfolds, it simply means if punishment becomes necessary I no longer belong there and have enough sense to recognize it.

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Post #: 24

RE: Punishment - 7/31/2010 1:51:21 PM

laurell3

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Joined: 5/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WeRShe

my Mistress and i have talked about punishment. She is reluctant to impose it because i am an adult and should know how to behave without casting her as the enforcer. i understand and agree that i should be responsible. Plus, i think she believes i get off on it. i acknowledge that to some degree i do, but that punishment also reinforces Her authority over me, and reminds me of my limits. i am human and will mess up once in a while, but without occasional consequences for it, i am afraid i may slip more without having that little voice in my head that reminds me i'll pay for my slacking off. Does any one have any thoughts on this?

Everyone makes mistakes on both sides of the kneel. As adults we accept that neither of us are human and move on, past it, communicate about it and learn from each other. As adults we learn to control our behavior to that which is beneficial to our relationships. I don't do punishment dynamics personally and find them a bit silly for me. If I need attention or feel less connection, I tell him that. I can tell you that communication and nuturing are way more effective for me and knowing I have displeased him is "punishment" enough.

If, however, you like the "bad boy" funishment scenarios, I would suggest telling her that rather than acting inappropriately would be the best approach.

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 7/31/2010 2:08:21 PM >

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Post #: 25

RE: Punishment - 8/5/2010 10:58:53 AM

subinchico

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Stopping play, stopping all contact, the threat of leaving/abandoning a sub is the strongest corrective measure in my opinion and should be used (hold back sex and see what happens, maybe a small risk of losing the relationship though, Oh well).

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Post #: 26

RE: Punishment - 8/5/2010 11:24:25 AM

leadership527

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Not to mention, it skips over all of those wonderful opportunities to discuss punishment hundreds of times more than it's probably ever applied in a successful dynamic.

ROFL.... I've long suspected that if actual subs/slaves were punished anywhere near as frequently as the threads come up on the internet then we'd suddenly find the sub population consisted of about 4 people in the entire US. 2 of those would probably be in the hospital from the severe beatings they received *chuckles*.

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Post #: 27

RE: Punishment - 9/10/2010 5:19:30 PM

slavem70

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quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

Well....you need to think of punishments you will NOT enjoy. If you enjoy surfing the internet, perhaps a week with no internet will give you that reminder you feel you need. If you are into playing Wii, then no Wii for 2 weeks if that's what trips your trigger. Perhaps you like that triple mocha with whipped cream in the morning. Have her forbid you to have one for a month.

Hope you see where this is going. Punishment does not need to be anything you might enjoy in any way. It's just a matter of figuring out what you would hate losing the most. She does not need to enforce her authority over you in ways you enjoy. Best of all, the punishment does not have your Mistress having to DO anything to you that you might enjoy. You can be punished without her lifting one finger.

Really good points.

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Post #: 28

RE: Punishment - 9/10/2010 6:13:19 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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I'm just going to interject this. It's from the guidelines under the General section:

One Liners - Please keep your one liners in the appropriate section (Polls and random stupidity or the lounge) Please do not bump threads with one liners that contribute nothing to the topic. This also includes emotes.

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Post #: 29

RE: Punishment - 9/12/2010 1:36:12 AM

lobodomslavery

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Please forgive another one liner. What is an emote?
kevin

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Post #: 30

RE: Punishment - 9/14/2010 12:44:23 AM

MistressDeStrict

Posts: 5
Joined: 9/2/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WeRShe

my Mistress and i have talked about punishment. She is reluctant to impose it because i am an adult and should know how to behave without casting her as the enforcer. i understand and agree that i should be responsible. Plus, i think she believes i get off on it. i acknowledge that to some degree i do, but that punishment also reinforces Her authority over me, and reminds me of my limits. i am human and will mess up once in a while, but without occasional consequences for it, i am afraid i may slip more without having that little voice in my head that reminds me i'll pay for my slacking off. Does any one have any thoughts on this?

I didn't read any of the posts contained herein this thread because I don't have that kind of time.

However, it's my standard operating procedure to punish slaves regularly when they step out of line.

For slaves like you that perhaps step out of line purposefully because you "get off" or enjoy the physical punishment of being spanked, paddled or caned, the key is for your Mistress to find ways to punish you that you don't like. For example, if I was your Mistress I'd have you stand on one leg in the corner, scrub the toilet with a toothbrush, rake the leaves in My yard using only your hands, et al. There are a million different ways to punish a slave that they will asolutely hate.

Be lucky you're not Mine.

Mistress De Strict

< Message edited by MistressDeStrict -- 9/14/2010 12:47:43 AM >

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Post #: 31

RE: Punishment - 9/14/2010 8:40:55 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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I don't want punishment but I do need that he keeps his end of the bargain up also. I don't submit in a vacuum. So if he starts ignoring what I do, I will slack off. I want him to acknowledge that I am doing my best to follow the rules, and to ask why I've started skipping one.

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Post #: 32

RE: Punishment - 9/14/2010 4:50:24 PM

COINT

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Joined: 4/29/2010
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I take away from his work out time. Being sedentry is hell for him and effortless for me.

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Post #: 33

RE: Punishment - 9/14/2010 7:04:48 PM

sweetsub1957

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Joined: 4/28/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I have thought's on it, but I am not all that sure you will be glad to hear them. I see the punishment thing as a reactive type of dominance. They do this and I have to do that. They know I have to do that if they do this and it can become a cycle of manipulation worthy of a teenager and frustrated parent.

I like my men adult without the need for punishment. He either wishes to please me or he doesn't. I would rather remind him with rewards, on how much I am pleased, than to react to poor relationship skills and bad behavior amounts to that in my mind. That doesn't mean there won't be times when I am unhappy with something he has done and I will set out to correct a behavior I don't want in our relationship, but believe me, it isn't something most would get off to!

This. Positive reinforcement for good behavior rather than only waiting for bad behavior and using negative reinforcement. There still may be times where punishment is needed to correct bad behavior, but positive reinforcement should also make it clear to most what type of behavior is desired. Positive has always worked for me anyway.

~sweetsub~

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Post #: 34

RE: Punishment - 9/14/2010 7:24:35 PM

seekingOwnertoo

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SLAVEM70 ...

Was told ... over the telephone ... by the Lady who used to use that image on Her profile ...

Using that image violates copyright laws ... and She had to take it down.

Instructed to do so by the Moderators ...

If She was right ... (and She was) ... you are also violating a copyright ...

Just my