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Focus50 -> RE: Hi...if Master won't touch you? (8/1/2010 3:54:33 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Since the op has no profile, so I can't see her age and make a guess at his, I'm clueless. If he's above the age of 40, then I'm betting Focus is right.
I was "over 40" (44) when I had my injury, but the point is that injury is not relative to age - it can happen to anyone, ....errrrr..., man.... or male...
quote:
An erection does not define him as a man. In fact, men with ED tend to be better lovers because they take the time a woman may need to warm up and they are focused on the woman's pleasure, instead of getting theirs and then going to sleep.
The lack of communication here however is a definite problem. Either you folks can talk about things or your entire relationship will consist of misunderstandings and guessing.
Lol Celeste, only a woman could think or say that. Erection is uniquely male, indeed, separates man from boy. To lose that is probably akin to a woman who can't bear children or suffers the trauma of a masectomy (sp?). Of course there's conflict once acceptance is reached of one's loss and you decide to pursue a relationship once more.
And that's where I refer to a "window shopping" relationship.... Acceptance of loss and deciding to move on regardless is about your own mentality and is still "theoretical" until you actually meet someone. And self doubt and feelings of inadequacy etc really don't hit home until that someone is a real person. That's where you "stall"; you become conflicted etc; where it's waaaay beyond you merely accepting a loss and motivating yourself to "get back in the game".... Reality BITES...!
My own injury never once affected erection ability but there was and is permanent loss through nerve damage - I can barely feel anything where it matters sexually. Having sex is akin to fucking thin air, lol, "shadow boxing"....
Now the theory is that men with depleted sensation can last longer sexually. The fact is that if you can't feel anything, it's kinda hard to keep aroused and even interested in continuing = man failure. And willing yourself to do so guarantees a loss of erection - that there are some things (erection) where mind over matter defeats the purpose of what you're doing and your body responds accordingly. My doctor suggested trialling Viagra; my attitude was "greaaaat, then I can fake it"....
Fortunately D/s allows compromise and alternatives - that the female anatomy allows for all kinds of props and possibilites to tease, torture and satiate her sexual desires. And lol, my dick still works physically or.... errr..., hydraulically - she still gets to play with the full size model or service me as my dominant needs demand.
You've just gotta get over the inadequacy hurdle; the biggest of all hurdles of conflict once faced with a real life potential partner. Lol, and *assuming* that's what's happening with the OP's partner.... Interesting that she's hardly answered any questions (like his age) or contributed further information despite adding to her OP.....
Focus.
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