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RE: When the s type is told to do something illegal. - 7/31/2010 6:29:44 PM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

This goes along with those who believe in mindless submission, doing whatever is asked with no thought as to the outcome, just to prove how submissive they are.

You know, I have absolutely no issue with "mindless submission" -- the individuals who are willing and able to yield everything and yield completely. That being said, I recognize that, in such circumstances, I am taking on the extra responsibility of having a person in my life who yields to that extent.

Calla

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 41

RE: When the s type is told to do something illegal. - 7/31/2010 6:30:53 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

We all have our threshold of what is acceptable to us. No one else can tell us what that is. You may find my ideas about public exposure extreme, I may find your lack of discretion in that regard extreme. I still respect that you know best what is good for you. And the beauty of it is, you and I aren't dating

. The only person that needs to accept who and what we are is our partner and ourselves.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Violentseternal)

Post #: 42

RE: When the s type is told to do something illegal. - 7/31/2010 6:45:14 PM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

The question is less about the integrity of a controller than it is about the self esteem and virtuosity of one who chooses to surrender.

I disagree with this -vehemently-. An authority-based dynamic is a binary system. In some cases, individuals may yield willingly as part of their nature, without such tendency to yield meaning that that person is lacking, in any way, in self esteem or virtuosity.... and in such situations, it becomes the responsibility of the one who accepts such authority to recognize what, exactly xhe is agreeing to in accepting authority from such a person.

In the same manner, it is important that, for those individuals who do not yield easily, that the dominant party accepts the yielding party's need to know that the dominant party is capable and shares the submissive party's basic philosophies so that the submissive party can be comfortable enough to yield. In terms of "insecurity", it is possible for some individuals who are very insecure to be hyperconscious, and to have difficulty trusting and yielding...

Unless one is a trained therapist or psychologist it is virtually impossible to determine an individual's level of either "self-esteem" or "virtuosity" by the manner in which said person yields authority, and sometimes, even when one -is- trained, it is still difficult, and subject to what the individual is willing or able to reveal about hirself.

Calla

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to aldompdx)

Post #: 43

RE: When the s type is told to do something illegal. - 7/31/2010 7:18:30 PM

Malkinius

Posts: 1814
Joined: 1/9/2004
Status: offline

{fast reply}

Greetings all....

If the dominant side of the relationship doesn't or isn't willing to take full responsibility for any command given then I believe they shouldn't be in that position. Period. That includes responsibility for all legal, illegal, questionable, moral, immoral and every other act the submissive does at their direct or indirect command. As Calla pointed out, there are people who will submit absolutely and there are people who want to be forced into certain actions that are illegal and as an example exposure of their bodies in public is a common one. Dealing with the vast spectrum of BDSM activities and phillas there are things which are illegal in some places and some which are illegal everywhere. There are a few for which the perps should no longer exist but that is another thread.

As we have happen a bit too often, we get people making absolute statements which apply to everyone when they only apply to themselves. This is not a good thing unless they are clearly marked as opinion. A problem I have myself at times. <grins>

And to answer the question, would I have a slave do something illegal? It really depends on what that something is. Can I think of some things out side of BDSM/local consensual sex laws? Yes. There are situations where where you can do something that is technically illegal to prevent something very bad from happening. It might be illegal to trespass onto other people's property but if done to save someone in a fire? Self defense where you injure or kill the attacker? There are many possibilities that I could or would condone or do. A few that I have done where there was little chance of being caught. <grins> Such as a nude slave in the front seat of a car while driving down mostly deserted country roads at dusk. <grins again> Just because I might do something doesn't mean I am going to be stupid about it and get either of us in trouble if I can help it at all.

Be well....

Malkinius

_____________________________

A questioner by inclination...An Auctioneer for the fun of it
http://www.HouseMalkinius.com The goal is community.

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)

Post #: 44

RE: When the s type is told to do something illegal. - 7/31/2010 7:39:13 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

Have to agree with Malkinius here. (not about the trespassing part as "Good samaritan" laws would probably protect me) ...It is totally situational and it depends on who I am dealing with and what might be the ramifications if caught.

I was once apprehended in the process of just about to receive a blow job behind a theater....It was rather embarassing. The cops knew what was going on and just wanted to be sure that it was consentual and that no prostitution was at hand. They seemed to be enjoying themselves at my expense. They suggested I find a better area to take care of my desires.

Again, it is all situational as to where you are, what is the illegal activity and what are the chances of getting caught?

Anywhooo, would I ever suggest a sub do something that is against the law...Yeah, I might. It might be really fucking hot.

I want her to strangle a nun with her bare hands....Adds to bucketlist

_____________________________

(in reply to Malkinius)

Post #: 45

RE: When the s type is told to do something illegal. - 7/31/2010 7:49:43 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

My exhubby and I got caught on our honeymoon doing the wild thing off the freeway, on a side road, near a powerplant, parked behind an oak tree. We were in our early 20s and we couldn't wait to get a room... we had only been married for 2 days. The cops shined a light on and I was grabbing for clothes as my ex yelled at me that they might think we have weapons or something...

The cops allowed me to get my clothes on, and I had our temporary marriage license... they were REALLY nice about it, chuckled about "newlyweds" and because we had only been married a couple of days they thought it was kinda sweet or something

I have never been caught outside of that

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 7/31/2010 7:50:25 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 46

RE: When the s type is told to do something illegal. - 7/31/2010 7:59:28 PM

wittynamehere

Posts: 759
Joined: 2/5/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
Have any of you experienced a D type that gets a kick from ordering a sub/slave to break the law?

Not really, but I do it all the time for mainly other reasons. I don't get my morality from laws, and my girls are extensions of myself. What's good for me is good for them, and that may or may not have anything to do with what lawmakers decades ago in a far off province decreed.

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I almost never return to a thread, so if you saw my post and want me to hear your reply, please message it to me.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 47

RE: When the s type is told to do something illegal. - 7/31/2010 8:48:21 PM

pwnerandpwned

Posts: 83
Joined: 4/13/2010
Status: offline

I expect her to do what is asked, legal or not. She expects me to have the wisdom to make decisions that are beneficial and not harmful. I expect her to leave if I begin lacking an acceptable amount of wisdom.

(in reply to wittynamehere)

Post #: 48

RE: When the s type is told to do something illegal. - 7/31/2010 9:25:17 PM

sweetsub1957

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline

~FR~
Awhile back I was corresponding with, and going to meet, a Dominant who later said that - among other things - every time I was out in the car w/ Him in public, I'd have to be naked from the waist up and in slave chains. Guess what. I never met Him. I don't want to get arrested for public indecency and be on some sex offender list for the rest of my life. Some things are just hard limits for me.

~sweetsub~

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to pwnerandpwned)

Post #: 49

RE: When the s type is told to do something illegal. - 7/31/2010 10:44:49 PM

aldompdx

Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline

Yes CallaFirestormBW, perhaps my examples were too specific for a general question. Everybody IS different.

The question is less about the qulities of a controller than it is about the physiological, psychological, and spiritual makeup of one who chooses to surrender.

Nonetheless as an adult in western society, one is ALWAYS responsible for themself, their actions, and their choices. If a controller says, "jump off a bridge," one need not do it. Period. The NAZI or Cheney excuse just does not carry any weight -- "I was just following orders." If you do the crime, you pay the time.

No interpersonal relation is binary, because the human brain is not a binary mechanism. The dynamic of control and surrender exists along a continuum, at many different levels, some of which may embody role reversals or switching over time.

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)

Post #: 50

RE: When the s type is told to do something illegal. - 7/31/2010 11:03:08 PM

Glasgow

Posts: 248
Joined: 6/7/2010
Status: offline

I'll admit, I was really hoping this thread was some young sub wondering if they should flash the security cameras at Wal-Mart for their master.

_____________________________

I wash my hands of this weirdness.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 51

RE: When the s type is told to do something illegal. - 8/1/2010 12:44:20 AM

gungadin09

Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline

It would depend on various factors. How serious the crime was, whether anyone could get hurt, how committed the relationship was... a lot of different factors. i don't know whether BDSM is illegal in California (i don't think it is), but i've been driven around while i was wearing nothing but panties, and told to get out of the car like that so my Master could tie my wrists. It was at night, in a large parking lot. There was not much risk of anyone seeing us, but i did it anyway, even though i wasn't happy about it. i don't know whether that was stupid, or not. i don't think i would be willing to shoplift. Being asked to take a stupid risk like that diminishes a Dom in my eyes. i would likely think less of Him for it.

P.S.- i never stopped to consider if the driving around naked part would make me a sex offender. If that is the case, then i won't be doing it again.

pam

< Message edited by gungadin09 -- 8/1/2010 12:47:20 AM >

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 52

RE: When the s type is told to do something illegal. - 8/1/2010 5:33:24 AM

ranja

Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline

i have not really experience a man who got a kick out of ordering me to do illegal things as such... more getting a kick out of ordering me to do stuff... that what was ordered might be illegal was rather less or not at all important.

i would not go shoplifting on command i don't think... i would not so much enjoy that... but a bit of risk taking as in having some hanky panky in a public place is very sexy... there are risks indeed, sometimes embarrassing consequences... ah well

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 53

RE: When the s type is told to do something illegal. - 8/1/2010 8:21:35 AM

jujubeeMB

Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff
I imagine you are very good shape from jumping to conclusions.

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Chances-of-acquiring-a-communicable-STD/show/247440

I am in excellent shape, thank you

I should have said sexually transmitted infection, and Shadowtiger said what I was going to say about the link, but I do believe the chances of getting an STD or STI increase with each anonymous person you blow in a parking lot. I could be wrong.

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 54

RE: When the s type is told to do something illegal. - 8/1/2010 8:27:21 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I'm not compatible with people who don't care about me. And since getting arrested and having jail time would mean I wouldn't be around, then obviously such types don't care about me. If he cares for you, he'll want to be with you and won't want you to get arrested.

Basically, don't date idiots.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 55

RE: When the s type is told to do something illegal. - 8/1/2010 11:11:32 AM

sweetsub1957

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline

~FR~
I used to think bdsm was illegal in WA state, but I recently had a police detective tell me it's not, as long as it's consensual. That's good to know.

~sweetsub~

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 56

RE: When the s type is told to do something illegal. - 8/1/2010 11:33:40 AM

DarlingSavage

Posts: 2808
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff
I imagine you are very good shape from jumping to conclusions.

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Chances-of-acquiring-a-communicable-STD/show/247440

I am in excellent shape, thank you

I should have said sexually transmitted infection, and Shadowtiger said what I was going to say about the link, but I do believe the chances of getting an STD or STI increase with each anonymous person you blow in a parking lot. I could be wrong.

Jefffff! I can't believe you posted that! I'm truly shocked! I hope you're ok. I hope you didn't slip and fall and smack your head on a concrete floor or anything.

_____________________________

<-- Easily amused.
<-- Easily impressed.

Strangers have the BEST candy!

Puppy dogs are my favorite people!

(in reply to jujubeeMB)

Post #: 57

RE: When the s type is told to do something illegal. - 8/1/2010 12:22:51 PM

junecleaver

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline

Wow. So many good experiences have started with that phrase!

_____________________________

"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 58

RE: When the s type is told to do something illegal. - 8/1/2010 9:45:54 PM

PrettyJewel

Posts: 16
Joined: 5/18/2010
Status: offline

I'm in California too, and only just thought about the sex offender/public indecency laws here. Gees, simply going behind an outbuilding in a ball park can get your life turned upside down. Not worth the risk for anyone, especially for you and your family (and if you've got a kid or two, think of the consequences to them if mama or papa has to register as an offender).

quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

It would depend on various factors. How serious the crime was, whether anyone could get hurt, how committed the relationship was... a lot of different factors. i don't know whether BDSM is illegal in California (i don't think it is), but i've been driven around while i was wearing nothing but panties, and told to get out of the car like that so my Master could tie my wrists. It was at night, in a large parking lot. There was not much risk of anyone seeing us, but i did it anyway, even though i wasn't happy about it. i don't know whether that was stupid, or not. i don't think i would be willing to shoplift. Being asked to take a stupid risk like that diminishes a Dom in my eyes. i would likely think less of Him for it.

P.S.- i never stopped to consider if the driving around naked part would make me a sex offender. If that is the case, then i won't be doing it again.

pam

(in reply to gungadin09)

Post #: 59

RE: When the s type is told to do something illegal. - 8/1/2010 9:49:55 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff
I imagine you are very good shape from jumping to conclusions.

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Chances-of-acquiring-a-communicable-STD/show/247440

I am in excellent shape, thank you

I should have said sexually transmitted infection, and Shadowtiger said what I was going to say about the link, but I do believe the chances of getting an STD or STI increase with each anonymous person you blow in a parking lot. I could be wrong.

I can think of many scenarios where the dom would give a submissive the experience where she was blowing random strangers in a parking lot, when they were anything but.

There are many instances where play is designed to fulfill a sub's fantasy without putting her in harm's way in actuality. Perhaps this was what Jeff was speaking of. I can't speak for him, but it crossed my mind...

She may think she is blowing strangers when she is in fact blowing people he knows well enough that it mitigates her risks while giving her something she always wanted to do...

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to jujubeeMB)

Post #: 60

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