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RE: A submissives desires - 8/1/2010 9:51:50 AM

txurinal

Posts: 209
Joined: 9/26/2009
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The MASTER i see on occassion will sometimes ask if i have any requests. This does not mean HE will grant them. AS i do not see him every day and will communicate via email, i usually include photos of things that interest me and would like to experience. Sometimes He does them,sometimes not but the greatest thing HE does for me is give me HIS undivided attention when we are together

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Post #: 21

RE: A submissives desires - 8/1/2010 10:03:07 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I don't have any issue with clip ever asking Me respectfully for anything. It's completely up to Me whether we engage in an activity or not. Our compatibility on the kink level is pretty high, so we don't have many issues in this area. At the same time, he's found that if he nags Me about a particular activity, he knows that is nothing but an invitation for Me to say no. I prefer him telling Me his interests so that I can decide which I would like to engage in. Of course, there are a few things that he doesn't like that I enjoy and he knows that will be what happens should I have a taste for them.

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Post #: 22

RE: A submissives desires - 8/1/2010 10:12:31 AM

YourLovelyAngel

Posts: 59
Joined: 7/30/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

I'll arch my back a certain way, but mostly I use my mouth.

This

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Post #: 23

RE: A submissives desires - 8/2/2010 7:44:41 AM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I just tell him.

We're in a relationship. We like to make each other happy. Not rocket science.

This.

He balances the relationship, rather than his role as a dominant in the relationship. So, I tell him what I am desiring. He looks at how that might fit into our relationship and goes from there. Sometimes the answer is "Sure!" sometimes it's "Not now" and sometimes it's "That's not gonna happen."

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Post #: 24

RE: A submissives desires - 8/3/2010 12:09:07 PM

DaddyDomP

Posts: 17
Joined: 6/15/2009
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I want to thank everyone for their responses. I feel I am on the right track judging by what you all are saying.

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Post #: 25

RE: A submissives desires - 8/3/2010 2:52:01 PM

texangael

Posts: 167
Joined: 12/14/2009
Status: offline

quote:

Ok, I am not stupid enough to think that a submissive doesn't have desires and fantasies and wants and needs, I know they do. I would like to hear from subs about how they express these to their Dom and I'd like to hear from Doms how they balance their Dominant role with allowing Their sub to experience the pleasure they desire. Please, I am not interested in responses like "whip the bitch and tell her to shut up".

Why is there a need for "balance" in this?

Specifically, are you asserting that there is a conflict between the Dominant's role and "allowing" the submissive to experience pleasure?

If so, I challenge that assertion. The dominant is dominant, the submissive is submissive, and it would seem to me that the pleasures of both will flow from who they are--which is to say from being either dominant or submissive. Accordingly, there should be no conflict, and thus no need for arbitrary "balance".

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Post #: 26

RE: A submissives desires - 8/3/2010 2:58:35 PM

pains

Posts: 17
Joined: 5/23/2008
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Communication in any relationship is very important regardless of its structure ie. Dom/sub, however although I am allowed and expected to tell my Master my desires, needs etc the emphais is on the way in which I express myself and the acceptance that his needs/wants etc come before mine.

I make sure to approach him in a respectful manner and that it is a convenient time to talk with him otherwise a text or an email will suffice, I dont keep any fantasies etc from him as I believe its important for him to know..the better he knows what goes on in my head the better he can effectively dominate me.

p

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Post #: 27

RE: A submissives desires - 8/3/2010 4:19:23 PM

attendedone

Posts: 12
Joined: 4/24/2010
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I agree with pains here. I want my boy to share his desires. I like knowing where he stands with things. Whether it may seem soft or not, his desires matter to me. I also like to use these desires as one of the tools in my tool kit. Nothing better than bringing him to the edge of desire with information obtained previously.

I do not however like whining, complaining or pressure. It is not his place to do that.

An email or thought shared is no harm done and does not carry the feeling of pressure for me. Ultimately, I can choose the form of play, the timing of a new experience, the order of things, or whether to do the activity at all. There are times when fantasies are just that, not really meant to be put into action. Fun thoughts. In real life, it may not feel right to do the action at all.

Back to pressure: If he bombards me with suggestions or through his actions or words communicates that I am missing his point or doing something wrong, I think things have come to an inappropriate place. He has forgotten his choice to follow my lead.

Letting go of fantasy or desire after sharing is a critical step I think. If the boy becomes attached to the outcome--it is lost. I also think a smart domme would pay attention to her boy and seek to please him in her own way.

Love, compromise and shared experiences are things that I desire.

quote:

ORIGINAL: pains

Communication in any relationship is very important regardless of its structure ie. Dom/sub, however although I am allowed and expected to tell my Master my desires, needs etc the emphais is on the way in which I express myself and the acceptance that his needs/wants etc come before mine.

I make sure to approach him in a respectful manner and that it is a convenient time to talk with him otherwise a text or an email will suffice, I dont keep any fantasies etc from him as I believe its important for him to know..the better he knows what goes on in my head the better he can effectively dominate me.

p