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How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not real - 7/31/2010 11:59:39 PM   
JoJohannsson


Posts: 30
Joined: 12/27/2008
Status: offline 		Hi everyone.

This is my first post after saying hello in "Introduce Yourself". I didn't find an appropriate forum so decided to put it in off topic. If there is any other forum better suited, please move it there.


I guess anybody on here has realised there are (sadly) quite a few profiles on CM that do not represent the real people behind them but are anything from fake to scammer. What do you experienced CMers do to find out the false ones early in communications?

I just found (silly me might have had THIS idea much earlier ;-) that real emails may help you to find out if - as in 2 cases for me - the sender of the emails is on a totally different continent (!) than they claim to be! I was in discussion with two "female subs" both claiming to be from the UK. Actually, a quick WHOIS search told me that the IP address noted as originating address in the email headers (view email source in your email client, will usually not be possible in web mail services), were actually registered with "The African Internet Numbers Registry" (org: ORG-AFNC1-RIPE). This means that, obviously, the "subs" are NOT in the UK as they claim but very probably somewhere in Africa.

Now my questions to YOU:
* Do you have any technical things or verification methods or tricks to find out if your new online aquaintance is real?
* Do you know of any sources on the internet that help you by providing technical help or info or other stuff to find out if you are talking to a real person, not a fake?
* What if you found out (for sure) that your aquaintance is obviously sailing under a false flag? Do you report the profile?

Cheers, Jo



Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 12:22:14 AM   
DragonNphoenix


Posts: 617
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		Would I report the profile.. Hell Yes. If they are lieing to me, they have or will lie to others. But.. some say I am a bitch.

Now.. to the real point of the post.. after talking through emails for a bit, I make send me a pic.. like a topless pic with my name on their chest is red, black, blue lipstick. Something like that. Where they cant just download a pic to send. OR, make them use a cam. I ask for legal names (which there are several websites that have search engines for background checks), and ask for a phone number to call them, and a 'friend' that I can talk to about them. Most sub/slaves have either another sub/slave that they confide in or a Mentor that they are working with. If someone isnt willing to give you any of this information... they are a fake. Either they are not ever really intending on joining you or they are not being honest with you on some level.

Hope this helps.
Phoenix

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RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 12:37:37 AM   
Glasgow


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/7/2010
Status: offline 		How do I find out?

1. Reading the profile filters out a lot of crap
2. If they never want to meet, they're 'not real', unless they specify they want an online relationship.


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RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 12:45:48 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DragonNphoenix

Would I report the profile.. Hell Yes. If they are lieing to me, they have or will lie to others. But.. some say I am a bitch.

Now.. to the real point of the post.. after talking through emails for a bit, I make send me a pic.. like a topless pic with my name on their chest is red, black, blue lipstick. Something like that. Where they cant just download a pic to send. OR, make them use a cam. I ask for legal names (which there are several websites that have search engines for background checks), and ask for a phone number to call them, and a 'friend' that I can talk to about them. Most sub/slaves have either another sub/slave that they confide in or a Mentor that they are working with. If someone isnt willing to give you any of this information... they are a fake. Either they are not ever really intending on joining you or they are not being honest with you on some level.

Hope this helps.
Phoenix


I would never do any of what you insist on above.  Instead I would do what might seem a little out there but I say...hey let's have a coffee and then I see if a person turns up and bingo...they are real. I realise that this may not work for others ....


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RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 1:01:24 AM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		I've been the victim of men/t.v.s playing "girl" and trying to fool me into thinking they were female.
It usually ends when I ask for their phone number; nothing! That puts an end to it!
One clue is that they want you to, "tell me what you want to do to me." That's a big red flag that they're looking for you to provide them with some jack-off material.
Ninety nine percent of women don't do that.
Also you can ask them to take a picture of themselves with a copy of TIME magazine or their local newspaper held up in front of them. If they're a phony they can't do it.

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RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 1:13:45 AM   
Scheherazade


Posts: 41
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Married usually. Pissed, but just went on to the next and am so glad I did.

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RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 1:25:12 AM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		I am real, and I am who I say I am, but I wouldn't give some  person I am just getting to know a friends telephone number, First of all if we don't hit it off, and don't want to continue talking, what's to say he isn't going to turn slime ballish and harrass my friend, and cause her all kinds of trouble? Who's to say he's even trust worthy of having the telephone number? Yeah, it's a small thing, sort of to hand out telephone numbers, but it's a big hassle when someone you don't want having it gets it and is now harrasing you.

I wouldn't send  topless pictures of me either, until I have known you a very long time. How do I know what they're going to do with the pictures once I have sent them.

And I am obviously a minority amongst most people, but I don't have real life friends off the pc, someone can just demand to call up and speak to. I am a loner. I stay away from just about most every one and I keep to myself a lot.I have been a loner most my life.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DragonNphoenix

If someone isnt willing to give you any of this information... they are a fake. Either they are not ever really intending on joining you or they are not being honest with you on some level.

Hope this helps.
Phoenix


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RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 1:57:56 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone


I would never do any of what you insist on above.  Instead I would do what might seem a little out there but I say...hey let's have a coffee and then I see if a person turns up and bingo...they are real. I realise that this may not work for others ....



I'm with Wanders on this one. If someone is too far away to meet me for a coffee, then they're too far away to consider a relationship with.





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RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 2:08:02 AM   
DragonNphoenix


Posts: 617
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		The coffee thing works great if you are in the same area. But if your talking to other accross the country.. gotta go a different route.

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RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 2:13:54 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		a webcam chat would work, if an LDR is what you're looking for.

Anything more at such an early stage would set of SO many alarm bells it would wake the neighbourhood!

But YMMW

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RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 2:17:27 AM   
DragonNphoenix


Posts: 617
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		First off.. I never said that this is something I do right off the bat. But, if you are not sure that the person you are talking with online is even the sex they say that they are, asking for 'proof' isnt a bad thing. And if someone doesnt want to give me a phone number, fine.. I do understand the issue, really.

The OP asked for ways of finding out if the person they were talking to was what they said they were. And I know that this is as big an issue for sub/slaves and for Dom/mes. I have been asked to get on cam with my husband to show that we were really a couple, not some seedy guy wanting 'jack off material'. And we did. It didnt work out for us as a relationship, but I am great friends with her. Showing her a cam made her feel safer talking with us.

Phoenix

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RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 2:21:28 AM   
DragonNphoenix


Posts: 617
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

a webcam chat would work, if an LDR is what you're looking for.

Anything more at such an early stage would set of SO many alarm bells it would wake the neighbourhood!

But YMMW


Like I said, I would not ask for all or any of it right off the bat. If you are at a point where you are talking about plane tickets and relocation... Asking for a pic or phone number isnt too much. If it means that I am thought of as a bitch, but weeds out those that are not really serious.. so be it.

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RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 2:22:05 AM   
twistedwillow


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DragonNphoenix

The coffee thing works great if you are in the same area. But if your talking to other accross the country.. gotta go a different route.


Still would not be giving out full names and phone numbers, either my own OR friends. Nor would I expect someone to do that for me. Same with the topless pics... yeah right thats gonna happen sometime this century! NOT.

Bit of an out there idea, but I tend to read the profile, and if they are from somewhere like 'Californior, Canada' ( taken from a guy who messaged me 2 days ago, verbatim)

Also the way someone writes is a dead give away, if they praise God because they saw your profile and were struck with a sudden love for you, chances are, they are not the hot guy ( or girl ) in the pic.

And numerous other little things.

From there, we click, we chat, we take our time getting to know each other, I am always open for friendships, and for friendships, I don't care if you are male, female, straight, bi, gay, or a purple polka dotted alien .... though I do draw the line at being friends with lay eggs in you and the young burst from your guts style aliens.

anyhoo

By the time I feel there may be a romantic connection possible, chances are I have gotten to know the person, and the basics about them anyway.
So no need for the Bond style search and destroy mission on their identiy and all potential aliases.

Edited for this :
quote:

Like I said, I would not ask for all or any of it right off the bat. If you are at a point where you are talking about plane tickets and relocation... Asking for a pic or phone number isnt too much. If it means that I am thought of as a bitch, but weeds out those that are not really serious.. so be it.


This changes things, by the time I was at the point of talking of plane tickets and relocation, I would indeed be comfortable with having their number and them having mine ... etc.

And would expect to have a fairly comprehensive knowledge of their life, their current situation, likes, dislikes, full name, address etc. As well as having seen them on cam.

< Message edited by twistedwillow -- 8/1/2010 2:44:56 AM >

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RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 2:27:58 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		To be fair, you didn't clarify that in your initial post.

But now that you have - if you're at the point of considering plane tickets and/or relocation, they I'd have thought that a cam or skype chat had already taken place. If you've started playing online or over the phone already, then feel free to ask for any pics or camshots you think the budding relationship can take without the other party saying "Fuck NO" and running off

The phone idea of friends is a really tricky one though - would YOU give out the phone number of YOUR friends to random people you've met on the internet? Nor would most people.

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RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 2:34:16 AM   
DragonNphoenix


Posts: 617
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		Yes.. I have give the number of a certain friend for 'referances' to one sub that we talked to. She came to visit, but chose a couple closer to her. And she asked them the same thing.

And I said.. after emailing for a bit. I should have been more detailed on time, for that I am sorry.

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RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 2:41:55 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		no probs

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RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 2:52:07 AM   
CynthiaWVirginia


Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline
quote:

Now my questions to YOU:
* Do you have any technical things or verification methods or tricks to find out if your new online aquaintance is real?
* Do you know of any sources on the internet that help you by providing technical help or info or other stuff to find out if you are talking to a real person, not a fake?
* What if you found out (for sure) that your aquaintance is obviously sailing under a false flag? Do you report the profile?


First answer, no.  I do not know how to do all that fancy computer footwork with the IP or whatever that you do.   Yessss, I am envious.  Not because I really want to do it, but just because I CAN'T, lol.
 
Second, I do not pay money to those sites that offer to tell me everything.  My mentor used to.  The most I do is do a reverse lookup, after asking or warning them that I am going to do this, to see if I have been given a landline or cell number.  This is after a first meetup.  I call at random times to see if another female answers, and if there is an answering machine, I leave enough to tee any female off so if a man is cheating he will be PUNISHED, lol.
 
Third, would I report it?  Yes, if someone was scamming and I was certain.  As for marrieds, no, because they are cheaters and not what I would call scammers.  
 
I meet up with people soon after the 2nd week of talking with them.  If they are not willing to meet up in a public place for coffee or something then they usually disappear or try to keep giving reasons for delays.  I lose interest and move on. 
 
None of the men from here has ever been an asshat and stood me up, so I've been lucky. 
 
Someone did talk with me in letters as a new friend, from the UK, and when it came time to cease talking he came at me from a profile in the USA, but that's the most hinky it's ever gotten. 
 
I get the guys wanting wank fodder and not usually the scammers. 


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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 4:13:28 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself


quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone


I would never do any of what you insist on above.  Instead I would do what might seem a little out there but I say...hey let's have a coffee and then I see if a person turns up and bingo...they are real. I realise that this may not work for others ....



I'm with Wanders on this one. If someone is too far away to meet me for a coffee, then they're too far away to consider a relationship with.




this...

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RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 5:06:44 AM   
DragonNphoenix


Posts: 617
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DragonNphoenix

Would I report the profile.. Hell Yes. If they are lieing to me, they have or will lie to others. But.. some say I am a bitch.

Now.. to the real point of the post.. after talking through emails for a bit, I make send me a pic.. like a topless pic with my name on their chest is red, black, blue lipstick. Something like that. Where they cant just download a pic to send. OR, make them use a cam. I ask for legal names (which there are several websites that have search engines for background checks), and ask for a phone number to call them, and a 'friend' that I can talk to about them. Most sub/slaves have either another sub/slave that they confide in or a Mentor that they are working with. If someone isnt willing to give you any of this information... they are a fake. Either they are not ever really intending on joining you or they are not being honest with you on some level.

Hope this helps.
Phoenix



_____________________________

**Pain is just pleasure with a twist**

(in reply to DragonNphoenix)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 5:34:07 AM   
DragonNphoenix


Posts: 617
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DragonNphoenix

Would I report the profile.. Hell Yes. If they are lieing to me, they have or will lie to others. But.. some say I am a bitch.

Now.. to the real point of the post.. after talking through emails for a bit, I make send me a pic.. like a topless pic with my name on their chest is red, black, blue lipstick. Something like that. Where they cant just download a pic to send. OR, make them use a cam. I ask for legal names (which there are several websites that have search engines for background checks), and ask for a phone number to call them, and a 'friend' that I can talk to about them. Most sub/slaves have either another sub/slave that they confide in or a Mentor that they are working with. If someone isnt willing to give you any of this information... they are a fake. Either they are not ever really intending on joining you or they are not being honest with you on some level.

Hope this helps.
Phoenix


Sorry for the previous post!
This is Dragon ....
As you see I don’t use the forums as much as Phoenix. BUT...

After reading this long line of dribble after her original post it is obvious to me that people here 1. Do not properly read the posts before going off half cocked. And 2. If the first thing YOU thought of was the Jerking off possibility,,, Maybe rethink what you do in your own life. Seems pot calling the Kettle Black on that one!!!

Phoenix NEVER insisted on anything. She merely was attempting to answer the original person of the thread some feedback and options. Why on this earth in the state it is in, the facts that our Lifestyle is considered abuse and Fringe by the “MAIN STREAMERS AND NORMALS” out there are we still so fast to attack someone offering any advice to another who is seeking help?
I certainly did not see any one Jump to answer before Phoenix BUT she did and instead of useful discussion there is assumption on miss read text and Quick Knee jerk reactions to I guess save the original poster from the OH MY GODS help offered instead of elaborating and furthering possibilities. Makes me ashamed to see the lifestyle as it is today compared to what was when I first trained and the fact this site has so many fake ASSHATS running around on it and a legitimate person tries to help and they get attacked. TISK TISK COLLARME!

We have asked for all those of some one here and there. Trust me after being BURNED by fakes.. Taken by users trying to get closer to some other Dominants,,and frankly tired of this kind of B.S. we will keep doing it until we find what we seek. If any can not do any or all once we start speaking of relocation of them to us then off the line they go and we move on. Simple straight to the point no B.S or fuss about it. ALL Phoenix did was offer what we do up as options for consideration to the original poster nothing more and certainly there wasn't hint of insistance. READ and use your gray matter people. doon't assume!! Everyone knows about assuming do I need to say it? Ok you talked me in to it "When you assume you make an ass out of u and me" there its done! Can we all go back in the dungeon now, play naughty and weed out the the creepy freak watchers, loosers, lyers and fakes and let the beatings begin???

Thanks
Dragon
THAT IS ALL! BACK TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED LIVES!

< Message edited by DragonNphoenix -- 8/1/2010 5:44:14 AM >

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