petitbateau
Posts: 40
Joined: 8/9/2009
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Thank you very much everyone for the nice words and the advices... I will indeed have a full check-up as soon as possible, that was the first thing I thought as well... I also thought about a therapist... but it's just I am genuinely surprised about the depth of these feeling and I feel like a child unable to managing them properly alone.
I am trying to hold me together in the meanwhile although on work is very difficult because almost everything annoys me deeply ; ;
quote:
ORIGINAL: RealSub58
but trying to tell your dom this instead of coming here might help you beyond belief.
I did already and the reason I am here is because I wanted to see if these feelings and mood swings were just "abnormal" or maybe coherent with someone that didn't really accept totally his place as a sub / slave /whatever. I spoke with my Owner about this and he's patient behind any belief but he's also distant and unable to help. I am not sure is his place to help me in this matter, if it's the case of a specific kind of disorder especially.
I know is silly to say so, but I still have to fully accept my "slave" side and maybe this is reflecting sometimes with this outburst and this moods shifts... I don't feel like exactly going to a therapist because, to put it frankly, I was under the impression that my reactions were somehow linked to my process of "acceptance" but I got a bit scared because of the outburst I had yesterday and because the deepness of the feeling are reaching a peak I never experienced.
quote:
ORIGINAL: ranja
do you eat healthily? do you use drugs or too much alcohol? do you sleep enough?
do you watch too much tv? do you exercise regularly?
you forgot...do you have a social life outside of CM?
I try to eat healthily, I'm vegetarian so I'm always quite scrupulous with protein intake and vitamins but I do admit I eat too many sweets :p I don't drink alcohol and I don't use drugs, I don't own a tv, I'm an avid book-worm and I don't exercise mainly because my work is physically intensive. I do sleep my 7-8 hours a day so that's pretty sorted :)
I don't have a lot of friends indeed, but none of them are here on CM heheh :p
quote:
ORIGINAL: NymphetamineGirl
You are not afraid to look deeply inward, so there is a bright future for you. Confronting this can seem daunting but when we get into the truth of ourselves it is actually a relief.
You definitely deserve to feel better than you do.
It's just that I'm looking and waiting for this relief and it's not coming... and I am afraid to look deep inside, especially if the outcome is what is coming out of me in these days. very often I simply think that maybe this is not my path, that maybe I was wrong...
I know is difficult, I know the pressure of society in our brain is high and being free from this conditioning of a lifetime is quite difficult, if not impossible... but... well I would like to be able to be happy somehow, which is something is not happening >.> and on top of that now I find myself acting even hysterical ahah
that's not good! at the moment though all my looking-inward-thing is stopped suddenly. I don't know what to do and I don't understand what's happening hence I am a bit worried. ; ;
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There is no coming to consciousness without pain.
Carl Jung
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