My friend wants to be a dom. Help?

My friend wants to be a dom. Help? (Full Version)

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Glasgow -> My friend wants to be a dom. Help? (8/1/2010 9:24:32 PM)
My ex (yes, I know what you're thinking) has been talking to me, and he's interested in the dark side. I've never quite dealt with any newbie besides myself, so any advice? He's interested in the dynamic and the lifestyle. Are there any helpful pages about? Sound advice from our local manly-men? Another thread that I missed?

juliaoceania -> RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? (8/1/2010 9:30:48 PM)
What do you think we were going to say, that he is only interested to get you back? You were thinking correctly on my opinion[;)] Give him the book The Loving Dominant...

Glasgow -> RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? (8/1/2010 9:34:15 PM)
Yup, he didn't even try to deny it when I suggested he just wanted my pants on the floor. But now he seems like he's genuinely interested (after telling me that all men into BDSM just want sex with underage girls, incidentally). The Loving Dominant, you say? I hope it's not expensive.

juliaoceania -> RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? (8/1/2010 9:55:35 PM)
I think he sounds very young, many dominants like women their own age or I couldn't get a date... and I never have trouble finding dates...lol

LanceHughes -> RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? (8/1/2010 9:57:20 PM)
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1890159727/ about $12 USD + shipping.

Glasgow -> RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? (8/1/2010 9:58:26 PM)
xD oh, I'm sure he thinks that he is the One Twue Dom deep down. I suppose we'll have to see where this goes.

DarkSteven -> RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? (8/1/2010 10:17:56 PM)
Books can only take you so far. Google to see if there are any BDSM groups near Bakersfield.

Glasgow -> RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? (8/1/2010 10:38:26 PM)
Hell, even I could probably teach him a thing or two. But yeah I'm 92% sure that he's just interested in boning me. ...I sure hope my master doesn't read this thread o_O

GreedyTop -> RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? (8/1/2010 11:37:46 PM)
I'm pretty sure that Bakersfield DOES have at least one active group. Besides The Loving Dominant, I also recommend "Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns". Both are fun, easy, and most importantly INFORMATIVE books. ETA: check the profiles of ResidentSadist and MasterFireMaam. Both have links to excellent book lists. But do encourage him to connect to the local community. L.A. isnt all that far and if he cant find anything in B'field that suits, there would probably be SOMETHING in L.A. that does.

juliaoceania -> RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? (8/1/2010 11:44:29 PM)
quote: L.A. isnt all that far and if he cant find anything in B'field that suits, there would probably be SOMETHING in L.A. that does. It is a mere two hour drive

Shadow-tiger -> RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? (8/2/2010 12:56:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Glasgow ...I sure hope my master doesn't read this thread o_O See now you're just asking for him to drop by for a look. [:D] Personally I'm still wondering what the heck this lifestyle thing is myself. It's there, I know people who live it, love it and spread it around. Yet I can never seem to wrap my head around it ... And I have this image in my head now of someone picking up a book on How to Be a Domly Dom. Then trying to learn like it was a Tai Bo workout.

mstrjx -> RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? (8/2/2010 1:33:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Shadow-tiger And I have this image in my head now of someone picking up a book on How to Be a Domly Dom. Then trying to learn like it was a Tai Bo workout. Maybe Billy Blanks knows about BDSM, too, and his next tape can provide all sorts of helpful tips. He's probably available. Jeff

DarkSteven -> RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? (8/2/2010 4:25:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Glasgow Hell, even I could probably teach him a thing or two. But yeah I'm 92% sure that he's just interested in boning me. ...I sure hope my master doesn't read this thread o_O Then for God's sake don't buy him a book. He'll take it as encouragement. Simply tell him what to buy and where the groups are. The fact that you're already worried about your Master finding out at THIS point means that you should go no further.

sunshinemiss -> RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? (8/2/2010 5:55:31 AM)
If these two guys show up.... (Ok, I'd follow them)... Good luck. Best advice: Tell him to be a man. The rest is just details.

GreedyTop -> RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? (8/2/2010 6:06:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania quote: L.A. isnt all that far and if he cant find anything in B'field that suits, there would probably be SOMETHING in L.A. that does. It is a mere two hour drive yep.. a hop, skip and jump, by CA driving standards :)

domiguy -> RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? (8/2/2010 7:40:42 AM)
at 5'0" tall and 96 pounds you are virtually a walking condom. It's a weird kind of a thing when in a relationship and dealing with past relationships or people in everyday life. Too many women either don't recognize when they are being pursued or enjoy the attention of the pursuer. It doesn't really matter that much as long as you don't act upon the desires of others. At least you have acknowledged that it probably stems from him wanting to slide you on. Too many woman seem to unable to make this connection and actually view these types of men as being their friends as if they have no extraneous motivations.

LadyPact -> RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? (8/2/2010 9:20:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven Books can only take you so far. Google to see if there are any BDSM groups near Bakersfield. There is a group in Bakersfield. It's the one that I normally attend.

laurell3 -> RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? (8/2/2010 11:17:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven quote: ORIGINAL: Glasgow Hell, even I could probably teach him a thing or two. But yeah I'm 92% sure that he's just interested in boning me. ...I sure hope my master doesn't read this thread o_O Then for God's sake don't buy him a book. He'll take it as encouragement. Simply tell him what to buy and where the groups are. The fact that you're already worried about your Master finding out at THIS point means that you should go no further. Here's a thought. Tell the guy to ask the questions himself, send him here and stop talking to him about anything sexual. The fact that he wants you ain't exactly something you can control. The fact that you are enjoying it and encouraging it is.

ProlificNeeds -> RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? (8/2/2010 11:27:36 AM)
I'm going to have to agree here. If he wanted to explore BDSM he'd look for multiple venues of information. Books, online, talking to people at munches or just friends of friends who are into it. All he's really looking for it sounds like, is a venue into you. Smile politely, tell him where he can go to look things up, and stop feeding him wank material. The entire scenario makes me imagine him 'breathing heavily as he asks, "Tell me what you want me to do to you baby."

Glasgow -> RE: My friend wants to be a dom. Help? (8/2/2010 12:01:24 PM)
Well, I might end up getting back together with him. I'm in a position where it's either all vanilla or train someone in the kink.

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