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an excuse to punish - 4/18/2006 5:12:18 PM   
MLskajira


Posts: 275
Joined: 2/17/2006
Status: offline 		yes, it is this girl again.
 she was wondering if Master/Mistress/Dom/me's punish their sub/slaves for imagined offences.
 do They find that whipping for no reason is unsatisfying so They  make things up, just to have an excuse to punish?
 no, this girl is not asking because she is going through this, she is only curious.
 


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RE: an excuse to punish - 4/18/2006 5:37:40 PM   
JohnWarren


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From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MLskajira

yes, it is this girl again.
she was wondering if Master/Mistress/Dom/me's punish their sub/slaves for imagined offences.
do They find that whipping for no reason is unsatisfying so They  make things up, just to have an excuse to punish?
no, this girl is not asking because she is going through this, she is only curious.


I don't "punish."  If my partner is into "pain" I'm quite capable of providing quite a lot of it in a controlled manner.

If a submissive does something that displeases me, I tell her what she did and that it made me unhappy.  If this isn't enough to convince her to stop, I'll reconsider the relationship.  Submission, to me, means wanting to please the dominant.  Absent that, there is no submission and so no relationship.

Making up things to punish a submissive seems, to me, a violation of the trust component of the relationship.  If I want someone to serve me, it is incumbent on me to make my needs and desires predictable.

< Message edited by JohnWarren -- 4/18/2006 5:38:58 PM >

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RE: an excuse to punish - 4/18/2006 5:45:40 PM   
MLskajira


Posts: 275
Joined: 2/17/2006
Status: offline 		thank You JohnWarren. it appears W/we are of the same mind. btw, this girl enjoys Your writings.

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RE: an excuse to punish - 4/18/2006 5:57:18 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		I get whipped/flogged/paddled/caned/etc. because both of us enjoy it.  He doesn't have to make up excuses to give me pain, nor do I have to 'misbehave' to get it. 
I see making up infractions in order to punish the submissive to be dishonest.  How can one follow rules that are always changing?  That is trickery, not dominance. 

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RE: an excuse to punish - 4/18/2006 6:02:42 PM   
PlayfulOne


Posts: 1047
Status: offline 		I would never "make up" a reason to puinish someone.  Personally I would rather not punish someone period.  If I was in a relationship where punishing someone was an ongoing situation I would have to take a long hard look at whether it was a relationship I needed to be in.  I am very capable of providing pain and other things without having to make up a reason.

K

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RE: an excuse to punish - 4/18/2006 6:03:19 PM   
Cloudz


Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline 		I inflict pain because it pleases me.

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RE: an excuse to punish - 4/18/2006 6:06:23 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

Making up things to punish a submissive seems, to me, a violation of the trust component of the relationship.  If I want someone to serve me, it is incumbent on me to make my needs and desires predictable.


I agree with you...  It is akin to setting up the submissive to Fail!  neither is desired in my relationships.

If I can't depend on the intrinsic nature of my girls to drive them to be who they are and be pleased with that person... then I to would have to reconsider the relationshipl.  Water flows naturally down hill... it's a real bugger trying to push it up hill.

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RE: an excuse to punish - 4/18/2006 6:18:24 PM   
YoungWYorksDom


Posts: 10
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline 		Personaly i would think if you where going to punish , that making up excuses to do so would defeat the actual point, i think it sends the wrong signals, one that the Dom is or will never be pleased with their sub's wich will lead to the sub oventualy stop even trying to please, take away from the fact that their Dom is a protection figure infact insinuate quite the oposite, replace respect with fear, it shows the Dom as unfair, unjust and dishonest, i am sure there are those that do make up excuses but that seems like such a as JohnWarren said a violation of the control the sub has given to their Dom. I am sure this would cause more problems for the Dom in the long run anyway. If it is play and the pain is for pleasure then im sure there would be no need to make up a reason however i am asuming when you say punish you mean as a physical manifestaion of a rebuke!

well that is my oppinion anyway

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RE: an excuse to punish - 4/18/2006 6:21:08 PM   
moon69


Posts: 59
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Status: offline 		If someone is inflicting punishment on another for an imagined or made up offense, then there is a definate mental issue at hand with that individual.  Proponents of that kind of behavior are teetering the line between obsessive compulsive disorders, meaning something of a cutoff is missing and the enactment of punishment for correcting a behavior is not the incentive for such actions.  Something typical of sociopathic behavior is stemming such acts.  This usually should be given immediate caution and possible medical attention.  This is not to say that all acts of BDSM, or in this case punishment, are needing such attention and evaluation, but its relation to an alterior motive inducing these actions are of concern.

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RE: an excuse to punish - 4/18/2006 7:12:43 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

Dom/me's punish their sub/slaves for imagined offences.
do They find that whipping for no reason is unsatisfying so They make things up, just to have an excuse to punish?
no, this girl is not asking because she is going through this, she is only curious.

Lots of people play the punish game- they find it fun and it can often ease a sadists burden of guilt and conflict over hurting someone he/she cares about.  As long as everyone is aware of the game and enjoys it, go for it.

I find it silly and not enjoyable.  I'll tease a partner about getting punished, but actual punishment is no fun for any one of us.

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RE: an excuse to punish - 4/18/2006 7:52:41 PM   
MLskajira


Posts: 275
Joined: 2/17/2006
Status: offline 		that sound like a logical thing to this girl Lucky.

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RE: an excuse to punish - 4/18/2006 7:59:18 PM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Lots of people play the punish game- they find it fun and it can often ease a sadists burden of guilt and conflict over hurting someone he/she cares about.  As long as everyone is aware of the game and enjoys it, go for it.


There is a significant difference in my mind of the Role-play Scene of punishment IE... The Teacher - naughty school girl   to the  making an excuse to punish for the sake of punishing.  One can be alot of fun... the other well... I don't care for that at all.

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RE: an excuse to punish - 4/18/2006 8:48:15 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		I'm with JohnW on this one. If I would like to engage in some form of S/m with Himself, I ask. He either will or he won't. To displease him by deliberate action in the 'hope' he'll engage in S/m with me smacks of topping from the bottom and manipulation. As soon as I tried to pull crap like that, my punishment wouldn't ever be anything I'd actually enjoy and I know Himself wouldn't be getting what he bargained for from my service to him.

Celeste

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RE: an excuse to punish - 4/18/2006 9:29:15 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		mmmm i love punishment role play *weg* 

Punishment for me is not getting spanked or flogged or whipped, it's being put in a corner and ignored. Now that is real punishment.

And really, i've found what hurts the absolute worst is the look of dissapointment on His face. it's crushing. No beating could hurt as bad in my opinion.

So to make up a reason to punish a sub or slave, is just beyond cruel and anyone that would do it is not worthy of the Title of Master or Mistress. Things like that cause emotional scars that last a hell of a lot longer then any bruise will.


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RE: an excuse to punish - 4/18/2006 11:42:04 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
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Status: offline 		my Master does not enjoy punishing me.  If he feels the need to punish me, that means i have disobeyed and/or disrespected him somehow.  That would mean he is not pleased with me. 

He would no more make up something to be unhappy with me about, as i would intentionally make him unhappy.  That's all dishonest bullshit in my book.

If he wants to whip me for his enjoyment, he whips me. i am not masochistic, nor a pain slut, so whippings are not something i typically enjoy.  There certainly do not need to be any false reasons for him to do this.  If he were making stuff up, he would be damaging the relationship.

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RE: an excuse to punish - 4/19/2006 1:13:24 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		As I said elsewhere, I need no other reason than "because I enjoy it".

I do wonder if those who need to hide that enjoyment behind some imagined slight or infringement are maybe holding a problem within themselves, that they haven't come to terms with society telling them they are 'bad people' for enjoying reddening a girls behind and need to pretend it is for some other reason.

Myself, that is one hang-up I don't have. It brings me pleasure, I need no excuse.


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RE: an excuse to punish - 4/19/2006 1:14:30 AM   
MsMacComb


Posts: 808
Joined: 3/30/2005
From: My Mothers womb.
Status: offline 		I would certainly hope so, lol.

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RE: an excuse to punish - 4/19/2006 5:31:34 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		No I don't punish for imagined offences UNLESS we are roleplaying a scene such as him being the naughty school boy and the like. If he and I have a problem we talk to work it out as I treat him as an equal, but it is understood that I have the final say.
If someone punishes for made up offenses to me that can deteriorate the trust factor and trust is so hard to establish in relationships.

~Lashra

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RE: an excuse to punish - 4/19/2006 5:39:59 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		Why when punishment is mentioned is it nearly always whips, floggings, spamkings etc? For me personally this is no punishment as i enjoy it. Personally to be made to sit in a corner silently or something along these lines is more a punishment for me.

On the topic of trickery in punishing your sub. I am guilty of this too i have been known to misbehave so that i would earn myself a spanking etc. I suppose what i'm trying to say is that it's not always the dom/ domme who is maybe dishonest when it comes to punishment.

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RE: an excuse to punish - 4/19/2006 6:38:32 AM   
alex311


Posts: 16
Joined: 3/12/2006
Status: offline 		I see nothing wrong with a sub/slave being subjected to pain, denial, or other unpleasantness even though they have done nothing wrong, when their Master/Mistress wants to reinforce their role or assert dominance.  But even though the methods might be the same ones used for punishment in the relationship, in this case I wouldn't call it "punishment" but "discipline" or "training."  If the Master thinks the slave should spend some time in the corner, he doesn't have to make up any imagined infraction to justify his decision to put her there, and I think doing so would be confusing to her.  Of course, if it's a game where she gets off on the injustice of being falsely accused, like in a cop/prisoner or principal/schoolgirl scene, then it's fine, but only because both parties know what's going on.

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