Redirecting the Flow

Redirecting the Flow (Full Version)

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AttendToYou -> Redirecting the Flow (8/3/2010 6:45:48 AM)
In physics, they say that energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only transfered from one form to another. This is how I see the role of orgasm denial in a d/s relationship. In an early stage of a d/s relationship, a sub may feel neglected as his body gets used to the change. It can be an emotional experience putting one's sexual release into the hands of another, or even limiting it. No relationship can survive if one's sexual energy is artifically limited. What orgasm denial does is help remind the person to channel their sexual energy differently. Instead of dealing with the build up of sexaul energy by masturbating or cumming, I can deal with it by expressing my adoration of my woman--something I want to do anyway. OD reminds me to orient my sexual expression differently.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Redirecting the Flow (8/3/2010 7:20:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AttendToYou In physics, they say that energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only transfered from one form to another. In physics we also talk about dissipation-eventually all energy will spread so thinly out that it's effectively lost into the background. This is an inevitable part of thermodynamics-any energy event results in some energy becoming lost and useless. Just saying.... VC (who hates it when people use half-assed physics metaphors)

AttendToYou -> RE: Redirecting the Flow (8/3/2010 7:26:25 AM)
You seem to be omitting that in your example it will take at least about 15 billion years for energy to dissipate to that extent, if not longer. I don't think I can be in chastiy that long in the first place, so it's a moot point. I'm not sure what's half-assed about the Newtonian example, as humans are bound by the same dynamics of physics as anything else.

LadyPact -> RE: Redirecting the Flow (8/3/2010 7:39:33 AM)
I'm not one for the physics discussion. Was there a question that you had?

LadyConstanze -> RE: Redirecting the Flow (8/3/2010 8:37:39 AM)
I don't think it was a question, he just says that orgasm denial helps him to focus his energies in different ways.

LadyPact -> RE: Redirecting the Flow (8/3/2010 8:42:22 AM)
Silly Me. I thought this was a discussion forum of some kind. LOL.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Redirecting the Flow (8/3/2010 8:47:35 AM)
I think he's stating his opinion and that he hopes a discussion might spring from that? Since I am not having male genitalia attached to me, I can only judge 2nd hand how orgasm denial influences a guy ;)

SaharahEve -> RE: Redirecting the Flow (8/3/2010 8:48:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AttendToYou In physics, they say that energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only transfered from one form to another. This is how I see the role of orgasm denial in a d/s relationship. In an early stage of a d/s relationship, a sub may feel neglected as his body gets used to the change. It can be an emotional experience putting one's sexual release into the hands of another, or even limiting it. No relationship can survive if one's sexual energy is artifically limited. What orgasm denial does is help remind the person to channel their sexual energy differently. Instead of dealing with the build up of sexaul energy by masturbating or cumming, I can deal with it by expressing my adoration of my woman--something I want to do anyway. OD reminds me to orient my sexual expression differently. I found your analogy interesting, and it does contain a truth I have known for some time about controlling my males. The effectiveness of orgasm denial in the male is enormous; the energy is rerouted toward another outlet and expended through worship. This takes a vast degree of psychological engagement from both, though the effort is well worth it.

slavekal -> RE: Redirecting the Flow (8/3/2010 10:04:28 AM)
It is a balancing act, though. Unless Mistress is very inspiring and monitors her male(s), the denied male's desire and enthusiasm to serve may dissipate faster than 15 billion years. For me, usually, it motivates me when I know I can earn an orgasm. If I think that there will be none, never ever ever, it is hard for me to stay motivated.

PeonForHer -> RE: Redirecting the Flow (8/3/2010 10:35:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slavekal If I think that there will be none, never ever ever, it is hard for me to stay motivated. . . . Rather than 'motivated to stay hard'. See if you were a Brit, Kal, you'd never let that kind of opportunity for a pun slip by. [;)]

Lockit -> RE: Redirecting the Flow (8/3/2010 11:48:26 AM)
Doesn't anyone else feel that if the adoration/whatever isn't freely given from the heart unbound, that forcing it through chastity or orgasm denial weakens it somehow? I want his cock hard and eager because he desires me, but what I want more is his heart warm and tender, making him willing to express what is there, through what he does. One day, that cock may not jump at the ready (there goes my dominant power!), but if he is still alive, that heart will do the trick. One can live without a cock able, but one cannot without that heart. I want his heart dictating what his actions will be. It's fun to play with a cock... but I want to own... his heart.

PeonForHer -> RE: Redirecting the Flow (8/3/2010 11:55:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit Doesn't anyone else feel that if the adoration/whatever isn't freely given from the heart unbound, that forcing it through chastity or orgasm denial weakens it somehow?It's fun to play with a cock... but I want to own... his heart. I would have thought that chastity that starts from a position where the s doesn't already adore the D wouldn't help him to do so, Lockit. At least, it wouldn't help him adore her from 'the right place'.

slavekal -> RE: Redirecting the Flow (8/3/2010 12:07:38 PM)
Chastity does not create adoration. A device allows a Mistress to know that her slave not only cannot have sex, he can't even jerk off. It allows the slave to prove how much he is willing to sacrifice for his Mistress.

KurtAllen -> RE: Redirecting the Flow (8/3/2010 1:14:01 PM)
quote: It's fun to play with a cock... but I want to own... his heart. You can’t own what a man can only give freely. Playing with his cock may grant you a few minutes of his time and you may own his time for those few minutes, but his heart has a different set of rules.

Lockit -> RE: Redirecting the Flow (8/3/2010 1:20:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KurtAllen quote: It's fun to play with a cock... but I want to own... his heart. You can’t own what a man can only give freely. Playing with his cock may grant you a few minutes of his time and you may own his time for those few minutes, but his heart has a different set of rules. That's kind of what I was getting at. lol I like the heart rules better.

Lockit -> RE: Redirecting the Flow (8/3/2010 1:22:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slavekal Chastity does not create adoration. A device allows a Mistress to know that her slave not only cannot have sex, he can't even jerk off. It allows the slave to prove how much he is willing to sacrifice for his Mistress. That is what I call play time, fun and it does have meaning. But as a corrective measure or a way to get him to do certain things I want done anyway and from the heart... no. But that is just me. I like to play with chastity and tease and denial. It has a place and time.

porcelaine -> RE: Redirecting the Flow (8/3/2010 2:23:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AttendToYou What orgasm denial does is help remind the person to channel their sexual energy differently. Instead of dealing with the build up of sexaul energy by masturbating or cumming, I can deal with it by expressing my adoration of my woman--something I want to do anyway. OD reminds me to orient my sexual expression differently. And sometimes the reasoning behind its implementation isn't technical or meant to elicit anything further than the dominant's desire to deny him. I always caution submissives against applying their logic to the other person's reasoning when directives are given. You're expressing the effect of orgasm denial, but you cannot ascertain why the dominant may use that particular approach on you without verification. ~porcelaine

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Redirecting the Flow (8/3/2010 2:26:04 PM)
I am as usual in Lockit's camp. Orgasm denial is a fun thing to PLAY with, but as a long term evidence of "adoration" it pretty much fails. Any kind of submission that is 100% attached to what happens to a cock is not submission that is of any use to me.

Lockit -> RE: Redirecting the Flow (8/3/2010 2:38:59 PM)
After reading the op again and a lil more caffeine to try and deal with a migraine... I thought I would add to what I've said. I think in part, the op is talking about a way he finds to deal with being in chastity. A refocusing on things. He didn't mention behavior or any of the things some of us jump to when we see a post like this. So I think I added to the post in my own mind and maybe from things said in the past or elsewhere. He did say he does more of the things he would do anyway. My motive of putting a man in chastity or denial wouldn't be to get more of what he already gives me, but more of other things. The tease simply for the tease... the torment for all it can bring and mean. However, I find that more men want chastity than I do. They don't seem to want it because it makes them a better submissive... they want it because it is a tease and can be torment and can be fun. From what I have seen anyway. If being horny makes them want to be a better submissive, that is where I find I have issues with it all.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Redirecting the Flow (8/3/2010 2:39:53 PM)
Okay teeeeny vent. What grinds my gears about these male chastity threads, and the profiles, and the journal entries, is how the person that is all into it waves his fetish/desire around like THIS IS THE WAY TO CONTROL ME, and if you don't do it, what kind of a dom are you? Maddening. I do what I do, on my timetable. I can rewind to a really hot locking-down moment... but that moment was not a relationship definer. It was hot and exciting, but loyalty and obedience get MY engine running in the long term, not someone's "willingness" to wear some plastic toy. You say "yes" to me ONCE. After that, it's my choice what happens.

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